Top Viagra Quotes

Browse top 30 famous quotes and sayings about Viagra by most favorite authors.

Favorite Viagra Quotes

1. "Hell, I'm practically an escort for my rich doctor clients. They call and I come running whispering sweet nothings in their ears and whipping out some of the best drugs money can buy. Matter of fact, we just got some meds in that makes Viagra look like chewable kiddie vitamins. One of my doctors told me when he came it was so good, he blacked out temporarily. Me and my boy toy are trying that one out tonight."
Author: A.T. Hicks
2. "I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis.Election, erection, election, erection!Either way we're screwed!"
Author: Bette Midler
3. "Oh, I can picture myself rattling along Route 66 on that thing, headphones on, singing along to ZZ Top's 'Sharp Dressed Man' or the opening line from 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf - 'Get your motor running...' The trike brings out that in all of us, which is no bad thing. Forget Viagra, get yourself a trike!"
Author: Billy Connolly
4. "What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer."
Author: Carroll Bryant
5. "That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.""Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?"
Author: Christopher Moore
6. "We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra..."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
7. "Although he was a young and virile man at 37, he was not inexhaustible. In addition to food and drink, he had better lay in a couple thousand tablets of viagra. The drug would probably remain potent if he vacuum packed the pills in groups of 10 and kept them in a freezer. That would work unless civilization completely collapsed and power companies were unable to function. Fortunately, Jim had a propane-powered backup generator with half a dozen tanks of fuel already on hand. If Henry added to the propane supply, and he used the generator only for essential maintenance like keeping the viagra freezer operating in warm weather, he would be happy here on the farm for a looong, looong time. Unless, even now, dead Jim was out there in the generator shed sabotaging the machinery."
Author: Dean Koontz
8. "There's no magazine you open, unless its AARP, that shows a woman over the age of 45 in any other light, other than having to buy Depends or Viagra."
Author: Doris Roberts
9. "Edward Cullen can take his stupid heroine and OD on it. Kate is my own personal brand of Viagra."
Author: Emma Chase
10. "Democracy in China is like Viagra; no such thing as free elections."
Author: George Montgomery
11. "My favorite Viagra ad, a Spanish-language print ad I saw some years ago, simply shows an image of the distinctive blue pill with the text "Un divorcio menos. Gracias, Pfizer." ("One less divorce. Thanks, Pfizer.")"
Author: Hanne Blank
12. "She gave him a cool glance over her shoulder. "May your balls wither away and you develope an allergy to Viagra and all its counterparts." He looked at her, stunned. And then he suddenly exploded into laughter."God, you're a formidable woman" "No, I'm not. I'm soft, remember?" She slammed the door behind her."
Author: Iris Johansen
13. "I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman."
Author: Jack Nicholson
14. "One of the side effects of Viagra is blurred vision. Sounds great! When I'm taking a pill to pop a stiffy, how great is it that any woman I look at has blurred features and therefore is as beautiful as an impressionistic painting?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
15. "Viagra increases bloodflow to the penis, but what drug increases bloodflow to the brain?"
Author: Jarod Kintz
16. "Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it."
Author: Jay Leno
17. "Are you serious? What the hell does a stunt double do in a porno flick?"Jake waved a hand vaguely toward his belt. "Extreme close-ups.""Uh. What?""Historically speaking, it doesn't happen often. Especially what with Viagra now. But it isn't unknown for a director to bring in a double for the close of a scene, if the actor is having trouble finishing."I blinked. "He thought I was a stunt penis?"Jake laughed at my reaction. "Man. You are new."
Author: Jim Butcher
18. "I think that in our society we should do everything to encourage child-bearing and family-making. And I think that if insurance will cover Viagra for men, it should also be covering these kinds of methods to try to build families."
Author: Joan Lunden
19. "...there's an impotency Viagra can't touch - the inability of a man to speak ..."
Author: John Geddes
20. "Connor turned to Vanda. "I'll need to check yer bag, too.""I thought you'd never ask." Vanda tossed her bag onto the table. She was ready for him this time.He opened her silver evening bag. His eyes widened.She was quite proud that she'd managed to squeeze a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, her back massager, and a bottle of Viagrainto such a tiny handbag. She smiled sweetly. "Something wrong, Connor?"
Author: Kerrelyn Sparks
21. "REQUIRED TO TAKE A COMBINATION OF GINKGO AND VIAGRA, SO YOU CAN REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING."
Author: Linda Howard
22. "You're just a big softy," he taunted. "The last person said that to me got Viagra in his coffee next morning," Ty warned seriously."
Author: Madeleine Urban
23. "Viagra isn't the only drug being prescribed off-label for women with arousal problems. Los Angeles urologist Jennifer Berman told me some doctors are prescribing low doses of Ritalin. Drugs like Ritalin improve a person's focus, so it stands to reason that it would make it easier to stay attuned to subtle changes taking place in one's body. 'It enables a woman to focus o the task at hand,' said Berman, managing, though surely not intending, to make sex sound like homework."
Author: Mary Roach
24. "Starving whilst schooled is like a man's finding out that his wife is on her periods … a few seconds after he took Viagra."
Author: Mokokoma Mokhonoana
25. "I am not overlooking any mail. I'm looking at all of it. I even wrote back to the Viagra people."
Author: Randy Newman
26. "I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
27. "Yes, but I've already made my fortune in other things. (Solin)Such as? (Geary)Viagra. My brother learned to take a personal problem and profit by it. (Arik)It's true. It pained me to see a man as young as Arik stricken with impotency. Therefore I had to do something to help the poor soul. But alas, there's nothing to be done for it. He's as flaccid as a wet noodle. (Solin)How creative of you to project your problem onto me. But then, they say celibacy is enough to make a man lose all reason. Guess you're living proof, huh? (Arik)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
28. "Do you respond to every e-mail you get, Becky?" Luke turns, incredulous. "Do you have a fine selection of Viagra substitutes too?"
Author: Sophie Kinsella
29. "Young kids are taking Viagra, ecstasy. They even want instant sex."
Author: Tim Reid
30. "Female Viagra has been around for years...it's called money."
Author: Ziad K. Abdelnour

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But the things that Christ taught are still true, of that I am absolutely certain. Meet me at the end of the world when we stand at the abyss...Honor is still worth living or dying for; no matter how tired or hurt or frightened you are, face forward and seek the light."
Author: Anne Perry

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