Top Washer Quotes

Browse top 64 famous quotes and sayings about Washer by most favorite authors.

Favorite Washer Quotes

1. "The reason I know what we are to each other is because we fight freely and almost constantly, about even the smallest thing. In fact, once we didn't speak for an entire week because he didn't like the way I loaded his dishwasher...I can't decide if we're exact opposites, or somehow exactly the same except for minor cosmetic differences. I do know that all of his friends hate me and all of my friends hate him. We drive each other crazy in ways that nobody else can even touch. We never bore each other. And we both realize what a rare thing this is."
Author: Augusten Burroughs
2. "I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun."
Author: Aziz Ansari
3. "If women are choosing not to run the world, it's partly because men are choosing not to run the washer and dryer."
Author: Barbara Kellerman
4. "All i have to offer is this: i hold a valid driver's license and I know the way to the hospital. I can hang curtains, flip a mattress, load a dishwasher. I can deliver a pizza, lend a steadying arm, laugh at a morbid joke and compliment a bad wig and I know the metric system. I doubt that's gonna be enough."
Author: Brian Fies
5. "I had two cups of coffee, put Eric's jeans in the washer, read a romance for awhile, and studied my brand-new Word of the Day calendar, a Christmas gift from Arlene. My first word of the New Year was 'exsanguinate.' This was probably not a good omen."
Author: Charlaine Harris
6. "And my own affairs were as bad, as dismal, as the day I had been born. The only difference was that now I could drink now and then, though never often enough. Drink was the only thing that kept a man from feeling forever stunned and useless. Everything else just kept picking and picking, hacking away. And nothing was interesting, nothing. The people were restrictive and careful, all alike. And I've got to live with these fuckers for the rest of my life, I thought. God, they all had assholes and sexual organs and their mouths and their armpits. They shit and they chattered and they were dull as horse dung. The girls looked good from a distance, the sun shining through their dresses, their hair. But get up close and listen to their minds running out of their mouths, you felt like digging in under a hill and hiding out with a tommy-gun. I would certainly never be able to be happy, to get married, I could never have children. Hell, I couldn't even get a job as a dishwasher."
Author: Charles Bukowski
7. "I could see the road ahead of me. I was poor and I was going to stay poor. But I didn't particularly want money. I didn't know what I wanted. Yes, I did. I wanted someplace to hide out, someplace where one didn't have to do anything. The thought of being something didn't only appall me, it sickened me. The thought of being a lawyer or a councilman or an engineer, anything like that, seemed impossible to me. To get married, to have children, to get trapped in the family structure. To go someplace to work every day and to return. It was impossible. To do things, simple things, to be part of family picnics, Christmas, the 4th of July, Labor Day, Mother's Day . . . was a man born just to endure those things and then die? I would rather be a dishwasher, return alone to a tiny room and drink myself to sleep."
Author: Charles Bukowski
8. "What happens if one day we're standing in a kitchen, dishwasher empty, oven and air full, you're washing and I'm drying, and the ring slips down the drain and flushes out to sea?"
Author: Darnell Lamont Walker
9. "I have come to dislike anything that demands constant attention, whether it is dogs, dishwashers, or finally men. I like things that are independent, and that need you only because they want you, not because they'll have a breakdown without you."
Author: Dominique Browning
10. "You don't want a general houseworker, do you? Or a traveling companion, quiet, refined, speaks fluent French entirely in the present tense? Or an assistant billiard-maker? Or a private librarian? Or a lady car-washer? Because if you do, I should appreciate your giving me a trial at the job. Any minute now, I am going to become one of the Great Unemployed. I am about to leave literature flat on its face. I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading."
Author: Dorothy Parker
11. "My god! i'm thinking, what incredible shit we've put up with most of our lives - the domestic routine (same old jobs, insufferable arrogance of elected officials, the crafty cheating and the slimy advertising of the businessman, the tedious wars in which we kill our buddies instead of our real enemies back home in the capital, the foul diseased and hideous cities and towns we live in, the constant petty tyranny of automatic washers and automobiles and tv machines and telephones -! ah christ!, i'm thinking, at the same time that i'm waving goodby to that hollering idiot on shore, what intolerable garbage and what utterly useless crap we bury ourselves in day by day, while patiently enduring at the same time the creeping strangulation of the clean white collar and the rich but modest four-in-hand garrote)"
Author: Edward Abbey
12. "I think love is kind of like those waves out there," she said. "You ride one in to the beach, and it's the most amazing thing you've ever felt. But at some point the water goes back out; it has to. And maybe you're lucky-maybe you're both too busy to do anything drastic. Maybe you're good as friends, so you stay. And then something happens-maybe it's something as big as a baby, or as small as him unloading the dishwasher-and the wave comes back in again. And it does that, over and over. I just think sometimes people forget to wait."
Author: Erica Bauermeister
13. "Johnny liked being with Iona; it made him feel like a man. She was petite - a good five inches shorter than him - but it was more than that. She let him pay for her, patronise her, made no demands on his time other than what he was already willing to offer. She made him feel nineteen as well, in her bed with sheets that smelt like cheap laundrette detergent, in bars drinking Snakebite from pint glasses still warm from the dishwasher."
Author: Erin Lawless
14. "I discovered the miracle that all things that sound are music, including the dishes and silverware in the dishwasher, as long as they fulfill the illusion of showing us where life is heading."
Author: Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez
15. "The mass of the rich and the poor are differentiated by their incomes and nothing else,and the average millionaire is only the average dishwasher dressed in a new suit."
Author: George Orwell
16. "Fear of the mob is a superstitious fear. It is based on the idea that there is some mysterious, fundamental difference between rich and poor, as though they were two different races, like Negroes and white men. But in reality there is no such difference. The mass of the rich and the poor are differentiated by their incomes and nothing else, and the average millionaire is only the average dishwasher dressed in a new suit. Change places, and handy dandy, which is the justice, which is the thief? Everyone who has mixed on equal terms with the poor knows this quite well. But the trouble is that intelligent, cultivated people, the very people who might be expected to have liberal opinions, never do mix with the poor. For what do the majority of educated people know about poverty?"
Author: George Orwell
17. "As for money - when I have it, it's great. When I don't, I go get some. I've been a dishwasher, a gardener, a cleaner."
Author: Gil Scott Heron
18. "Thing is, foot-washers think women are a sin in definition."
Author: Harper Lee
19. "In the back of the fridge I checked out some stewed apples destined to fester. I examined them closely and reckoned they had only a day to go, even by my standards. I spooned the apples into tiny bowls, tossed in some dried fruit and sprinkled them with crumble topping. Delicious, they said that night, scraping the bowls so clean they hardly needed to go in the dishwasher. The fools."
Author: Helen Brown
20. "I studied how to use the clothes washer. The handy instructions on the lid helped; so did the box of suds. It instructed me to separate the whites from the coloreds. Laundry will be the last American institution to desegregate."
Author: Huston Piner
21. "Its not that he didn't appreciate his dishwasher. There was something about washing dishes by hand that was therapeutic, as if he could wash away the regrets of the past and photos he wanted to wipe out of his memory forever."
Author: James L. Rubart
22. "I finished loading the dishwasher, and then circled the couch to make sure I hadn't missed anyvisible empty condom wrappers. That was never fun to explain.The fact that I had bagged a good portion of beautiful coeds at this school was no secret, but Ididn't see a reason to remind them when they came to my apartment. It was all about presentation."
Author: Jamie McGuire
23. "I'm a feminist. That's why I own a dishwasher."
Author: Jarod Kintz
24. "The engine of my car is so powerful I could wash dishes under the hood. But that'd be pretty absurd, since I keep the dishwasher in the trunk."
Author: Jarod Kintz
25. "I collect kitchens, one empty coffee cup at a time. I wish they made dishwashers that cleaned with dreams, not laundry detergent."
Author: Jarod Kintz
26. "Oftentimes, in the evening after they have finished spreading the fertiliser, the writer and his wife sit on the fence - with a wonderful sense of "togetherness" - and listen to the magic symphony of the crickets. I can understand that. Around our house, we're pretty busy, and of course we're not the least bit integrated, but nevertheless my husband and I often sit together in the deepening twilight and listen to the sweet, gentle slosh-click, slosh-click of the dishwasher. He smiles and I smile. Oh, it's a golden moment."
Author: Jean Kerr
27. "YOU are using a frisbee as a plate.""Uh, what? I'm not using a--oh hang on, this is a frisbee. Weird."Victor glared at me."Dude, calm down, I'll wash it afterward. It's probably dishwasher safe."
Author: Jenny Lawson
28. "When I asked my father whether he thought that it was possible that his mother was raped behind that closed door, he said, "She had washer-woman knees. No one could possibly think of her as a sexual object. Besides," he explained, "she would have told my sisters, and they would have told me." I am not so sure. Maybe someone needed to ask her. Someone needed to want to know, to be able to hear the answer. (77)"
Author: Jessica Stern
29. "Music [is] the third rail of life. You grabbed it to shock yourself out of the dull drag of hours. To feel something. To burn with all the emotions you didn't get to experience in the ordinary run of school, TV, and loading the dishwasher after dinner."
Author: Joe Hill
30. "Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out."
Author: Joe Rogan
31. "I am not ashamed to say that I am the son of a washerwoman."
Author: John Burns
32. "Crammed among the stacks of books in his room, the author treated literature as if each book were a window in a city of unstable skyscrapers, and he was the window-washer tasked with the impossible job of cleaning them all. - From "Pageturner" in 365 Tomorrows"
Author: Joseph Patrick Pascale
33. "** The fall semester will offer such classes as Learning When to Shut Up, Asking for Directions, Chick Flicks 101 and The Art of Loading the Dishwasher (Lab Fee Extra)"
Author: K. Larsen
34. "For two years, I haven't given anyone the time of day. Now, here I am, day one into our new life, and I'm ready to straddle this guy on the washer."
Author: K.A. Tucker
35. "I got fired when I was a dishwasher at Denny's. That set me back a little bit. You don't realize how important dishwashers are until you do the job."
Author: Kelsey Grammer
36. "Something's different," Carlos continued. "Tonight you came in with no scowling or growling. Why thechange?"Robby shrugged one shoulder. "I'm trying to convince you I'm no' crazy. If I kept doing the same thing when itwasna working, would that no' be crazy?""Good point." Carlos rinsed the bowl and placed it in the dishwasher. "So you're trying a new strategy tonight."Robby removed the bottled blood from the microwave and filled a glass. "Tonight I saw an angel."Carlos's eyes widened. "And you're still trying to convince me you're not crazy?"
Author: Kerrelyn Sparks
37. "Can we talk now?" she asked."Nay, we need to . . . load the dishwasher." He padded into the kitchen and took his time rinsing everything in the sink before stacking it into the machine. He even scrubbed the pot he'd warmed the soup in.When he closed the dishwasher, she was waiting there, holding a mop.She offered it to him. "Do you want to clean the floors now? And sweep the porch? I think the antlers on the moose head need polishing."
Author: Kerrelyn Sparks
38. "I don't have a dishwasher, and I hate washing dishes."
Author: Kristanna Loken
39. "Marius had never understood the notion of blind loyalty. He had served everyone from kings and caliphs to head dishwasher at the local brothel, and only ever with one objective: to relieve someone of the cruel burden of their money."
Author: Lee Battersby
40. "You emptied the top rack of the dishwasher but not the bottom, so the clean dishes have gotten all mixed up with the dirty ones - and now you want to have sex?"
Author: Lorrie Moore
41. "Japanese chefs believe our soul goes into our knives once we start using them. You wouldn't put your soul in a dishwasher!"
Author: Masaharu Morimoto
42. "Consumption.And if the culture doesn't have a vision for the human person, it certainly doesn't have a vision for the family. In fact, the culture would prefer that every family be broken, because a broken family needs two dishwashers, two lawnmowers, ant two of almost everything else. And if culture could break families up two, three, four ways, it would prefer that."
Author: Matthew Kelly
43. "Graduation, the hush-hush magic time of frills and gifts and congratulations and diplomas, was finished for me before my name was called. The accomplishment was nothing. The meticulous maps, drawn in three colors of ink, learning and spelling decasyllabic words, memorizing the whole of The Rape of Lucrece - it was for nothing. Donleavy had exposed us.We were maids and farmers, handymen and washerwomen, and anything higher that we aspired to was farcical and presumptuous."
Author: Maya Angelou
44. "Window washers increase the vision in the windows of the buildings; wisdom quotes do the same thing in the eyes of the people!"
Author: Mehmet Murat Ildan
45. "She was given to me to put things rightAnd I stacked all my accomplishments beside herStill I seemed so obselete and smallI found God and all His devils inside herIn my bed she cast the blizzard outA mock sun blazed upon her headSo completely filled with light she wasHer shadow fanged and hairy and madOur love-lines grew hopelessly tangledAnd the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle"
Author: Nick Cave
46. "Farrukh, tonight you have won a dishwasher"
Author: Paul Torday
47. "My family keeps me pretty grounded. Like if I try anything diva, they're like, 'Oh shut up. Go and do the dishwasher.'"
Author: Rebel Wilson
48. "I want to be awful. I want to do awful things and why not? Dull is dull is dull is my life. Like now, it's night, not yet time for bed but too late to be outside, and the two of them reading reading reading with their eyes moving like the lights inside a copy machine. When I was helping put the dishes in the washer tonight, I broke a plate. I said sorry Ma it slipped. But it didn't slip, that's how I am sometimes, and I want to be worse."
Author: Victor Lodato
49. "And you spend your day going around from the house of the washerman to the house of the sweeper, asking about this one's son and that one's nephew, but spending no time with your own family. It is no secret that many people here think that you are a communist.'Rasheed reflected that this probably meant only that he loathed the poverty and injustice endemic to the village, and that he made no particular secret of it."
Author: Vikram Seth
50. "[The modern age] knows nothing about isolation and nothing about silence. In our quietest and loneliest hour the automatic ice-maker in the refrigerator will cluck and drop an ice cube, the automatic dishwasher will sigh through its changes, a plane will drone over, the nearest freeway will vibrate the air. Red and white lights will pass in the sky, lights will shine along highways and glance off windows. There is always a radio that can be turned to some all-night station, or a television set to turn artificial moonlight into the flickering images of the late show. We can put on a turntable whatever consolation we most respond to, Mozart or Copland or the Grateful Dead."
Author: Wallace Stegner

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You Can't Extinguish a Bad Habit, You Can Only Change It."
Author: Charles Duhigg

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