Top Weekends Funny Quotes

Browse top 19 famous quotes and sayings about Weekends Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Weekends Funny Quotes

1. "Kaoru." "Hikaru? How long have you been there? "Kaoru, how do you feel about Haruhi?" "She's a funny little tanuki." "You don't have to lie to me. Sorry that I didn't realize it until now. I know you've been worrying about me, but you don't have to lie anymore. You like Haruhi too, don't you?" "What are you talking about, Hikaru? I don't--" "Then how about this? You know we talked about adopting Haruhi. That's the best solution. That way the three of us will always be together." "Are you completely stupid, Hikaru? Adopting Haruhi was just a joke. We're not playing house. It'd never happen. I'm so fed up with your childishness!!" "Kaoru..." "Besides, would you be happy being a threesome forever? You really want to share Haruhi with me? That's not what I want!" "Kaoru...?" "I won't share her with you or milord! Especially... ... If your willing to just give her up like that! I'll never step aside for you if that's the case!"
Author: Bisco Hatori
2. "And it's funny how when somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
3. "The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic."
Author: Dominic Chianese
4. "IN my early days there were stories about funny refugees murdering the English language. A refugee woman goes to the greengrocer to buy red oranges (I mean red inside), very popular on the Continent and called blood oranges.‘I want two pounds of bloody oranges.'‘What sort of oranges, dear?' asked the greengrocer, a little puzzled.‘Bloody oranges.'‘Hm...' He thinks. ‘I see. For juice?'‘Yes, we are.'Another story dates from two years later. By that time the paterfamilias — the orange-buying lady's husband — has become terribly, terribly English. He meets an old friend in Regents Park, and instead of talking to him in good German, softly, he greets him in English, loudly.‘Hallo, Weinstock.... Lovely day, isn't it? Spring in the air.'‘Why should I?"
Author: George Mikes
5. "Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting."
Author: J.K. Rowling
6. "I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David."
Author: Jeff Garlin
7. "I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented."
Author: Julie Brown
8. "After school I all but ran to Gran's and it was funny how even with her so sick, being with her could still make me feel safe."
Author: Laura Wiess
9. "It only took Alexis a day to read a five-hundred page book. Fiction stories took her to another world where she could lose herself for a while in someone else's life.Its funny how things like loans to pay back, a broken home and family, and a future to worry about meant nothing to characters who only had to worry about things like boys, beaches and fun."
Author: Lindsay Chamberlin
10. "The world is in trouble because of a few funny sympathetic philosophers"
Author: M.F. Moonzajer
11. "But why me?Because, idiot, you... are funny and smart and you have a giant heart that you can't even pretend to hide. And you love your friends and your mum, and you held my hand and made me sing when I was so scared I thought I was going to die. I knew you understood, right from the beginning, this thing inside, the stuff in your head that you need to make real. You get that.... And you wear stupid Superman pyjamas without any irony, and your face lights up when you talk about the movies you love.... And... you protect my dwarf. You always have her back. And you have a dimple when you smile that's so cute I almost died the first time I saw it."
Author: Melissa Keil
12. "Sometimes I was so funny I couldn't stand myself."
Author: Moira J. Moore
13. "The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes."
Author: Nikolai Gogol
14. "I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy."
Author: Paul Shaffer
15. "Hm funny you think you truly know me all tell you this only my trust of friends know who I relay am"
Author: Pikmin100xx
16. "I find it funny that people now come up to me and say, 'Wow, you are absolutely gorgeous. I'm like, 'I was beautiful before I lost weight. Egotistically speaking, I thought I was amazing.'"
Author: Raven Symone
17. "Akmon pulled a ratchet wrench from the tool belt and spun it like a noisemaker. "Oh, very nice! I'm definitely keeping this! Thanks, Blue Bottom!"Blue Bottom?Leo glanced down. His pants had slipped around his ankles again, revealing his blue undershorts. "That's it!" he shouted. "My stuff. Now. Or I'll show you how funny a flaming dwarf is."His hands caught fire."
Author: Rick Riordan
18. "Something is funny, most of all, because it's true, and because the velocity of insight into this truth exceeds our normal standards. Something is funny because it's outside our accepted boundary of decorum. Something is funny because it defies our expectations. Something is funny because it offers a temporary reprieve from the hardship of seeing the world as it actually is. Something is funny because it is able to suggest gently that even the worst of our circumstances and sins is subject to eventual mercy."
Author: Steve Almond
19. "I don't really talk about my personal life. It's a strange and funny and weird thing. Sometimes you have a conversation with someone and the paparazzi snaps a picture of you and people decide you're dating. If I try to answer everything people say, I would be up all night."
Author: Tracee Ellis Ross

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Today's Quote

Mr. Gray," I mutter. He's smiling again like the Big Bad Wolf who wants to eat me. And boy, do I want him to eat m–"I just happened to be in the area," he says, cutting off my internal monologue. "I needed to pick up a few supplies, and here you are. What a pleasant surprise." His voice is cool and husky like a Wendy's Frosty shake, with just a little bit of grit (also like a Frosty)."
Author: Andrew Shaffer

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