"I'm Famous. That's My Job."

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Hanged"I hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,the point is I hanged myself today and I'm stillhanging.I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping thatsomeone will come home and cut me downbut then I keep remembering that if I knewsomeone like that I wouldn't be up here. Bitironic, right? Or is that not ironic? I readsomewhere that, like, anything funny is,in some way, ironic. But I don't know if it'sfunny or not. I don't think my brain owns"funny", you know?I feel taller. I like that.I've never been away from my shadow forthis long. It had always clung to my feet,parting momentarily for a quick dive intothe swimming pool. But never for fivehours. I like it. There's three feet of spacebetween my two and the floor.I wanted something this morning. I may bestuck. But at least I'm three feet closer to it."
Author: Bo Burnham