[New Rule: Stop Calling Bagpipes A Musical Instrument. They're Actually A Scottish Breathalyzer Test. You Blow Into One End, And If The Sound That Comes Out The Other End Doesn't Make You Want To Kill Yourself--you're Not Drunk Enough.]

Author: Bill Maher Quotes

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Evan Roskos Quotes

"When I hug trees, the bark marks my cheek and reminds me Im alive. Or that my nervous system is still intact. The trees breathe all the time and no one really notices. They take in all the air we choke on. They live and die in silence. So I hug them. Someone should."

John Battelle Quotes

"Google is a global Rorschach test. We see in it what we want to see. Google has built an infrastructure that makes a lot of dreams closer to reality."

John Henry Carver Quotes

"In the tail above the giant resonance, you can get not just one neutron emitted but two, three, four or five, and so there are a lot of things one can measure, looking at the competition with the emission of neutrons and protons and so on."

Eugene Kennedy Quotes

"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?"

Andrea Mackris Quotes

"Im supposed to say, Bill OReilly, thats immoral - click - and then walk back in and book his A block the next day and have a fine day and everything be kosher? I dont think so."

Barbara Cartland Quotes

"To sleep around is absolutely wrong for a woman; its degrading and it completely ruins her personality. Sooner or later it will destroy all that is feminine and beautiful and idealistic in her."

Elizabeth Warren Quotes

"Mitt Romney is the guy who said corporations are people. No, Governor Romney, corporations are not people."

Nacho LIbre Quotes

"I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory days in the hot sun"

Bajju Quotes

"Your happiness depends on people around you and people you love, but peace of mind you alone can cultivate. Never loose your peace of mind even when unhappy."

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Quotes About Being Jealous Of My Boyfriend

"If you have compassion and are imbued with the spirit of the Way, it is of no consequence to be criticized, even reviled, by the ignorant. But if you lack the spirit of the Way, you should be wary of being thought of by others as having the Way." - Author: Dogen Zenji

Quotes About Lifes

"A lifestyle is what you pay for; a life is what pays you." - Author: Thomas Leonard

Quotes About Clobbering

"Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell Its clobbering time?""I find your attempt at levity inappropriate.""Consider me properly chastised." - Author: Ilona Andrews

Quotes About Indigenous Peoples

"The indigenous peoples of the great tourist spots seem to lose their souls. All cultural, religious, and political efforts and ideals are crippled since the culture is engaged only in luring ever more tourists. It is not the contact with an essentially foreign population that corrupts the inhabitants of the great foreign resorts. It is the contact with great masses of people who are seeking fir the moment only well-being and not salvation that weakens and devalues the indigenous population." - Author: Adolf Guggenbühl Craig

Quotes About Morningside

"You would be forgiven for thinking Alex Morningside was a boy. In fact, she would be the first to laugh at this, because, for one thing, she wasnt, and for another, she had an Excellent Sense of Humour. It wasnt that she wanted to be a boy or anything, it was simply that she didnt see much difference in being treated as a girl or boy. Because, after all, everyone is just people. One of the reasons people thought she was a boy was her haircut. Her haircut looked like someone had put a bowl on her head and cut around it. Which is exactly what her uncle had done. Also, they thought she was a boy because her name was Alex. Of course, Alex was short for Alexandra, but neither Alex nor her uncle liked that very much, so they shortened the name. They could have shortened it the other was I suppose - Andra - but she and her uncle preferred Alex." - Author: Adrienne Kress

Quotes About False Appearances

"The majority of men prefer delusion to truth. It soothes. It is easy to grasp. Above all, it fits more snugly than the truth into a universe of false appearances—of complex and irrational phenomena, defectively grasped. But though an idea that is true is thus not likely to prevail, an idea that is attacked enjoys a great advantage. The evidence behind it is now supported by sympathy, the sporting instinct, sentimentality—and sentimentality is as powerful as an army with banners. One never hears of a martyr in history whose notions are seriously disputed today. The forgotten ideas are those of the men who put them forward soberly and quietly, hoping fatuously that they would conquer by the force of their truth; these are the ideas that we now struggle to rediscover." - Author: H.L. Mencken

Quotes About Shared Success

"When did you first feel like a grown woman and not a girl?" We wrote down our answers and shared them, first in pairs, then in larger groups. The group of women was racially and economically diverse, but the answers had a very similar theme. Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty to them. "I was walking home from ballet and a guy in a car yelled, ‘Lick me!" "I was babysitting my younger cousins when a guy drove by and yelled, ‘Nice ass." There were pretty much zero examples like "I first knew I was a woman when my mother and father took me out to dinner to celebrate my success on the debate team." It was mostly men yelling shit from cars. Are they a patrol sent out to let girls know theyve crossed into puberty? If so, its working." - Author: Tina Fey

Quotes About Toxic Family

"When my generation of women walked away from the kitchen we were escorted down that path by a profiteering industry that knew a tired, vulnerable marketing target when they saw it. "Hey, ladies," it said to us, "go ahead, get liberated. Well take care of dinner." They threw open the door and we walked into a nutritional crisis and genuinely toxic food supply. If you think toxic is an exaggeration, read the package directions for handling raw chicken from a CAFO. We came a long way, baby, into bad eating habits and collaterally impaired family dynamics. No matter what else we do or believe, food remains at the center of every culture. Ours now runs on empty calories." - Author: Barbara Kingsolver

Quotes About Being Happy

"There are such beings as vampires, some of us have evidence that they exist. Even had we not the proof of our own unhappy experience, the teachings and the records of the past give proof enough for sane peoples." - Author: Bram Stoker

Quotes About Moving On To Greater Things

"We are all glorified motion sensors.Some things only become visible to us when they undergo change.We take for granted all the constant, fixed things, and eventually stop paying any attention to them. At the same time we observe and obsess over small, fast-moving, ephemeral things of little value.The trick to rediscovering constants is to stop and focus on the greater panorama around us. While everything else flits abut, the important things remain in place.Their stillness appears as reverse motion to our perspective, as relativity resets our motion sensors. It reboots us, allowing us once again to perceive.And now that we do see, suddenly we realize that those still things are not so motionless after all. They are simply gliding with slow individualistic grace against the backdrop of the immense universe.And it takes a more sensitive motion instrument to track this." - Author: Vera Nazarian