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Top Sarah Silverman Quotes

Browse top 38 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Sarah Silverman.

Favorite Sarah Silverman Quotes

1. "I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it." ~ Sarah Silverman
2. "It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it." ~ Sarah Silverman
3. "I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices." ~ Sarah Silverman
4. "Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist." ~ Sarah Silverman
5. "I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core." ~ Sarah Silverman
6. "Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts." ~ Sarah Silverman
7. "They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle." ~ Sarah Silverman
8. "I like my life alone." ~ Sarah Silverman
9. "I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not." ~ Sarah Silverman
10. "Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine." ~ Sarah Silverman
11. "Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it." ~ Sarah Silverman
12. "When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach." ~ Sarah Silverman
13. "Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert." ~ Sarah Silverman
14. "I had a lot of depression as a kid." ~ Sarah Silverman
15. "Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me." ~ Sarah Silverman
16. "You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to." ~ Sarah Silverman
17. "But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough." ~ Sarah Silverman
18. "Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now." ~ Sarah Silverman
19. "Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!" ~ Sarah Silverman
20. "My stepfather, John O'Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He was the one parent who didn't try to fix me. One night I sat on his lap in his chair by the woodstove, sobbing. He just held me quietly and then asked only, "What does it feel like?" It was the first time I was prompted to articulate it. I thought about it, then said, "I feel homesick." That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home." ~ Sarah Silverman
21. "I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body." ~ Sarah Silverman
22. "I was going to get an abortion the other day.I totally wanted an abortion.And it turns out I was just thirsty." ~ Sarah Silverman
23. "Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews." ~ Sarah Silverman
24. "I would pretend that I was in a glass box - that I was in this glass container that no one could see, and it protected me. At night I would open the door and get out of the box to go to bed. In the morning, I stepped into it and closed the latch. I dreamed that I would somehow be transported - that all this sadness and fear would actually fuel this glass box and carry me home." ~ Sarah Silverman
25. "I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt." ~ Sarah Silverman
26. "HE BROKE HIS NOSE GIVING A FAKE BLOWJOB. Holy shit. I love that story with every part of me." ~ Sarah Silverman
27. "Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality." ~ Sarah Silverman
28. "Look, there's not much useful to take away from this book – it's largely stories of a woman who has spent her life peeing on herself. But there is one way I really believe I can help the world, and that is to encourage everyone, in all things, to "Make It a Treat" ~ Sarah Silverman
29. "At the time that this book is being written, I am single. If you've ever heard that song by Beyoncé, "Single Ladies", I am one of the people she's singing about. I have to be, because she sings, "All the single ladies." If she didn't mean to include me in that, then she really needs to choose her words more carefully." ~ Sarah Silverman
30. "Women don't ask to be raped, but there are some that are asking to be motorboated" ~ Sarah Silverman
31. "She loved dogs, New York, television, children, friendship, sex, laughing, heartbreaking songs, marijuana, farts, and cuddling." ~ Sarah Silverman
32. "If women could ejaculate, I would have exploded hot jizz all over my manager's face. Instead, I hugged him. (about getting the SNL gig as a writer)" ~ Sarah Silverman
33. "I'm sympathetic to the nuns' violent impulses. I mean, if I'd given up sex to devote myself to a man who I had to just trust loved me, despite never being physically around to prove it, I'd probably be smacking little children too." ~ Sarah Silverman
34. "After fifteen years of making my living in stand-up, The Sarah Silverman Program has been a lesson in collaboration. Rob, Dan, and I live by the mantra "Whoever is most passionate." If I was mentoring someone, that's the Shandling-esque advice I would proffer: Find people you really respect and trust, and then at each decision, heed the most passionate voice. I love that because it eliminates nearly all struggle. And when you're doing a show that's mostly about farts, penises, and vaginas, there should be as little struggle as possible." ~ Sarah Silverman
35. "Now you're in a meeting." ~ Sarah Silverman
36. "I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so!" ~ Sarah Silverman
37. "At some point, I figured that it would be more effective and far funnier to embrace the ugliest, most terrifying things in the world--the Holocaust, racism, rape, et cetera. But for the sake of comedy, and the comedian's personal sanity, this requires a certain emotional distance. It's akin to being a shrink or a social worker. you might think that the most sensitive, empathetic person would make the best social worker, but that person would end up being soup on the floor. It really takes someone strong--someone, dare I say, with a big fat wall up--to work in a pool of heartbreak all day and not want to fucking kill yourself. But adopting a persona at once ignorant and arrogant allowed me to say what I didn't mean, even preach the opposite of what I believed. For me, it was a funny way to be sincere. And like the jokes in a roast, the hope is that the genuine sentiment--maybe even a goodness underneath the joke (however brutal) transcends." ~ Sarah Silverman
38. "To all you sensitive sallys out there who spend your time scribing angry letters, I have great news: Scientific models show that in the not-too-distant future, all the races will become so completely interbred that humanity will have a monolithic caramelish color and common facial features. There won't be blonds or hairy Jews anymore.Words like "Chink" will cease to have meaning. They will be relics, along with those who use them for comedy. Which is exactly why I am past that meta-racist shit and onto poop and pee. Onward and downward!" ~ Sarah Silverman

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Today's Quote

Or was he the romantic fiction of a girl who'd been desperate for a handsome stranger to come along?"
Author: Ann Brashares

What Did Sarah Silverman Talk About?

Ally
Ear
King
Thin
End
Mean
Wit
Use
Fun
Here
Act
Self
Does
Pen
Hen
Tan
Lit
Ends
Con
Sin
Word
Son
Ten
Star
Less
Ours
Off
Care
Late
Pathetic
Hear
Jew
Path
Lie
Night
Hit
Sing
Far
Sit
Words

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