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Top Bo Burnham Quotes

Browse top 35 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Bo Burnham.

Favorite Bo Burnham Quotes

1. "Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. Now, read this next line in your best crotchety- old man voice:"Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?"Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours! How do you do that?How?! It must've been magic." ~ Bo Burnham
2. "I love you just the way you arebut you don't see you like I do.You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect.Trust me, perfect should try to be you." ~ Bo Burnham
3. "Well, man, you know what they say."No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them." ~ Bo Burnham
4. "Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist." ~ Bo Burnham
5. "Sully suffers from a stutter,simple syllables will clutter,stalling speeches up on beacheslike a sunken sailboat rudder.Sully strains to say his phrases,sickened by the sounds he raises,strings of thoughts come out in knots,he solves his sentences like mazes.At night, he writes his thoughts insteadand sighs as they steadily rush from his head." ~ Bo Burnham
6. "Forever and An Instant met up one day,Had a short, but lovely talk, then each went on it's way." ~ Bo Burnham
7. "Imagination They say adults have no imagination. Not true. Just instead of dinosaurs and spaceships, they imagine silence and the new babysitter bent over the coffee table." ~ Bo Burnham
8. "Fireflies Hey, fireflies! Fly higher, guys! Fly high above this place. Till a sky rise is a wire's size. Then fly off into space. I catch stupid bugs in jars but you're not bugs you're baby stars!" ~ Bo Burnham
9. "You How, may I ask, did you get so you, you beautiful true-to-you doer? I've met many today but can honestly say that I've never met anyone you-er." ~ Bo Burnham
10. "BigWhen I was little, I killed ants with a magnifying glass.And now I'm big.And I worry I'm doing the same thing with you." ~ Bo Burnham
11. "Bombs The first bomb dropped unheard, unlike the loudly dropped second and third; then the final bomb dropped from the sky to the ground and the last-seen bomb made the last-heard sound." ~ Bo Burnham
12. "My Rabbit's Foot I've got a rabbit's foot and I feel lucky that I have it, but I still know that it must've come from one unlucky rabbit." ~ Bo Burnham
13. "If you were perfect, I'd tattoo this on my chest. If you were beautiful, I'd carve this into a tree trunk. If you were nice, I'd write this in a letter. But you're none of those—" ~ Bo Burnham
14. "Searching I'm not looking in every nook and cranny for it. I'll do the nooks. No way I left my keys in some fucking cranny." ~ Bo Burnham
15. "Judge Jesus I said, "You can't judge me. Only Jesus can!" He said, "Well I can 'cause I'm a judge and 'cause you just killed a man." ~ Bo Burnham
16. "For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form." ~ Bo Burnham
17. "I chose to do comedy instead of going to college." ~ Bo Burnham
18. "I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface." ~ Bo Burnham
19. "I just like to write and then perform." ~ Bo Burnham
20. "I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'" ~ Bo Burnham
21. "I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to." ~ Bo Burnham
22. "I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments." ~ Bo Burnham
23. "I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it." ~ Bo Burnham
24. "I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?" ~ Bo Burnham
25. "I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience." ~ Bo Burnham
26. "Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth." ~ Bo Burnham
27. "Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy." ~ Bo Burnham
28. "The average person has one Fallopian tube." ~ Bo Burnham
29. "At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time." ~ Bo Burnham
30. "At the time of 'Words, Words, Words,' I'm a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he's entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that's inherently a little bit ridiculous." ~ Bo Burnham
31. "Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a child or a god, which some people do. This might just be in America, but 'stand-up comedy' is something very particular that I don't particularly relate to." ~ Bo Burnham
32. "Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It's like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting." ~ Bo Burnham
33. "For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, 'This crazy thing happened to me the other day.' And he's in front of 3000 people, and he's acting like an everyman, and he's getting paid so much money." ~ Bo Burnham
34. "MmmmmmI like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it" ~ Bo Burnham
35. "Hanged"I hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,the point is I hanged myself today and I'm stillhanging.I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping thatsomeone will come home and cut me downbut then I keep remembering that if I knewsomeone like that I wouldn't be up here. Bitironic, right? Or is that not ironic? I readsomewhere that, like, anything funny is,in some way, ironic. But I don't know if it'sfunny or not. I don't think my brain owns"funny", you know?I feel taller. I like that.I've never been away from my shadow forthis long. It had always clung to my feet,parting momentarily for a quick dive intothe swimming pool. But never for fivehours. I like it. There's three feet of spacebetween my two and the floor.I wanted something this morning. I may bestuck. But at least I'm three feet closer to it." ~ Bo Burnham

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Today's Quote

Only one more indispensable massacre of Capitalists or Communists or Fascists or Christians or Heretics, and there we are—there we are in the Golden Future."
Author: Aldous Huxley

What Did Bo Burnham Talk About?

Thin
Comedy
Hey
Self
Hen
Per
Here
Lit
Cause
Ten
Bit
Use
Ring
Old
Wit
King
Act
Call
Ear
Ally
Tea
Tan
Space
Son
Does
Fun
Instead
Off
May
Able

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