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Top Conan OBrien Quotes

Browse top 25 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Conan OBrien.

Favorite Conan OBrien Quotes

1. "Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42." ~ Conan O'Brien
2. "In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union." ~ Conan O'Brien
3. "It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy." ~ Conan O'Brien
4. "The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'" ~ Conan O'Brien
5. "Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me." ~ Conan O'Brien
6. "I have an abacus at home." ~ Conan O'Brien
7. "The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality." ~ Conan O'Brien
8. "Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'" ~ Conan O'Brien
9. "In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath." ~ Conan O'Brien
10. "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'" ~ Conan O'Brien
11. "Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly." ~ Conan O'Brien
12. "Fish recognize a bad leader." ~ Conan O'Brien
13. "I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere." ~ Conan O'Brien
14. "If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice." ~ Conan O'Brien
15. "The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent." ~ Conan O'Brien
16. "In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani." ~ Conan O'Brien
17. "Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen." ~ Conan O'Brien
18. "Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer." ~ Conan O'Brien
19. "It's a mistake to read. Television is the only way." ~ Conan O'Brien
20. "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein Because he hates America he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French people." ~ Conan O'Brien
21. "Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is con­nected to the rhythm of music. They're both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I'm always surprised when somebody funny is not musical." ~ Conan O'Brien
22. "It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention." ~ Conan O'Brien
23. "Applaud my idiocy." ~ Conan O'Brien
24. "Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation." ~ Conan O'Brien
25. "The top two movies at the box office this weekend were 'High School Musical 3' and 'Saw V.'One movie features gruesome onscreen torture that is difficult to watch and the other is about a guy with a saw." ~ Conan O'Brien

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Teaching was the hardest work I had ever done, and it remains the hardest work I have done to date."
Author: Ann Richards

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Ear
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