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Top Dark Jar Tin Zoo Quotes

Browse top 32 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Dark Jar Tin Zoo.

Favorite Dark Jar Tin Zoo Quotes

1. "I love like I'm thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?" ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
2. "She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It's kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn't listening." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
3. "In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
4. "Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you'll never forget the sound of her voice." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
5. "My love's got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
6. "To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
7. "She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, "Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert."" ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
8. "I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can't tell it." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
9. "I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil)." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
10. "I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
11. "Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
12. "Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
13. "Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
14. "I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it's a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
15. "I make love like never, only less often." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
16. "I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
17. "I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
18. "Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
19. "If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
20. "Love is meant to be sipped, rather than chugged, like a glass of wine you drink strait from the bottle." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
21. "Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
22. "We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
23. "The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way—contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
24. "If I could bronze my love, it'd be worthy of a silver medal." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
25. "Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
26. "I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!" ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
27. "I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
28. "Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
29. "I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
30. "Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
31. "We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she'd never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
32. "My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some." ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

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Today's Quote

If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare me a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German, and Germany will declare that I am a Jew."
Author: Albert Einstein

What Did Dark Jar Tin Zoo Talk About?

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