1. Top Famous Quotes
    2. /
  2. Drew Magary Quotes

Top Drew Magary Quotes

Browse top 14 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Drew Magary.

Favorite Drew Magary Quotes

1. "For every hour a mother gets to herself, a father will demand five times that amount for drinking with friends and acting like an immature dipshit." ~ Drew Magary
2. "Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get to being inside a working spaceship." ~ Drew Magary
3. "When a teacher is paying extra attention to your child, you believe that it's because you raised such an exceptional kid, one that stands out head and shoulders above the rest of her booger-eating friends." ~ Drew Magary
4. "You cannot hide from the world. It will find you. It always does. And now it has found me. My split second of immortality is over. All that's left now is the end, which is all any of us ever has." ~ Drew Magary
5. "I know there's no heaven. I know it all turns to nothingness. But I fear there will be some remnant of me left within that void. Left conscious by some random fluke. Something that will scream out for this. That one speck of my soul will still exist and be left trapped and wanting. For you. For the light. For anything." ~ Drew Magary
6. "I asked XMN if perhaps this is not the best way to spend one's time. I asked if it might be a symptom of a much deeper personal problem that he has failed to address. He thinks for a moment. "Yeah I'm sure that's part of it. Then again, I don't know if the problems I have can ever be fixed. I don't know how you go about being reborn into a family that loves you. I think I'm damaged permanently. And if that's the case, everyone else deserves the same fate." ~ Drew Magary
7. "Death is the only thing keeping us in line." ~ Drew Magary
8. "This is the Supernova," he said. "Any time he gets worked up, his body bursts into white-hot light that disintegrates anything around him. That's how I felt when I was growing up. Everything I had inside of me, I just wanted to turn loose. Felt like my heart had a nuclear reactor melting down inside of it. That's how you feel when you're young and you want everything." ~ Drew Magary
9. "Okay," I confessed. "You got me. I don't want to die. I'm terrified of death. I fear there's nothing beyond it and that this existence is the only one I'll ever possess. That's why I'm here."He patted my leg to give me reassurance. "That's why they're all here. Even the ones that believe in heaven and seventy-two virgins and every other good thing supposedly waiting for them in the afterlife." ~ Drew Magary
10. "Once they've borne children, mothers can construct virtually any costume using scissors, felt, Elmer's glue, and a leftover pen spring. They're like the Special Forces of crafts." ~ Drew Magary
11. "You become a parent, and your whole life becomes about worrying. You just worry constantly whether they'll be okay. And the idea that I'll be worried forever about them and what they do...I almost have a panic attack when I think about it. I'm worried, and I'm worried about having to worry so goddamn much." ~ Drew Magary
12. "We're constantly judging and grading other parents, just to make sure that they aren't any better than us. I'm as guilty as anyone. I see some lady hand her kid a Nintendo DS at the supermarket and I instantly downgrade that lady to Shitty Parent status. I feel pressure to live up to a parental ideal that no one probably has ever achieved. I feel pressure to raise a group of human beings that will help America kick the shit out of Finland and South Korea in the world math rankings. I feel pressure to shield my kids from the trillion pages of hentai donkey porn out there on the Internet. I feel pressure to make the insane amounts of money needed for a supposedly 'middle-class' upbringing for the kids, an upbringing that includes a house and college tuition and health care and so many other expenses that you have to be a multimillionaire to afford it. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE." ~ Drew Magary
13. "Jokes about butts WORKED." ~ Drew Magary
14. "It's a fact that every minute you hold a child, it triples in mass." ~ Drew Magary

Drew Magary Quotes Pictures

Drew Magary Quotes
Drew Magary Quotes
Drew Magary Quotes

Today's Quote

It wasn't my most fashionable dress, but anyone who called for me at nine o-clock in the bloody morning would have to take what he was given."
Author: Alyxandra Harvey

What Did Drew Magary Talk About?

Thin
Con
Hey
Hen
End
Ear
Tan
Ten
Per
Pen
Left
King
Hit
Here
Child
Act

Famous Authors

Popular Topics

Copyright © 2023 Top Famous Quotes. All Rights Reserved. | New Quotes | Topic List | Author List | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us |