Fanny Merkin quotes: top famous quotes and sayings by Fanny Merkin

Top Fanny Merkin Quotes

Browse top 15 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Fanny Merkin.

Favorite Fanny Merkin Quotes

1. "I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror with the brown eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait... my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I've been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is fine." ~ Fanny Merkin

2. "Here's the aisle with tape.""Thank you, Miss Steal," he says. He picks up the most expensive brand, which runs $3.99 a roll. This guy is a total baller." ~ Fanny Merkin

3. "Are you ready for my love gun?" he says.Uh-oh. "What's a love gun? Is that a sex toy?""No," he says. "I'm talking about my penis.""Oh," I say. "Then yes. Fire away" ~ Fanny Merkin

4. "I gaze into his gazing eyes gazingly like a gazelle gazing into another gazelle's gazing gaze." ~ Fanny Merkin

5. "I drink coffee sometimes, but Starbucks' coffee tastes like burnt ass," I say."Actually, it tastes nothing like burnt ass, Anna.""And how would you know what burnt ass tastes like?"He laughs. "That's for me to know…and you to find out."I'm not sure I want to find out, but whatever." ~ Fanny Merkin

6. "An attractive blonde behind the receptionist's desk smiles at me as I walk in. I assume she's the receptionist, because I can't think of any other reason she would be sitting behind the receptionist's desk. Unless maybe she's filling in for the real receptionist, who could be on her lunch break. But then I remember: it's almost two, and I doubt anyone takes their lunch breaks that late. So this must be the actual receptionist." ~ Fanny Merkin

7. "I spend the rest of the night doing schoolwork. After striking a match and lighting a candal, I sit down at my desk with my quill pen and parchment to write an essay for my ethics class on the legalities of fan fiction." ~ Fanny Merkin

8. "I feel naked in my Tommy hoodie and Victoria's Secret sweatpants with PINK written across the ass. The sweatpants aren't pink though - they're gray. This always confuses me when I put them on, because shouldn't they say GRAY - on the backside? Maybe Victoria's secret is she's colorblind." ~ Fanny Merkin

9. "Mr. Long Fingers. Mr. Womb-Ticklers" ~ Fanny Merkin

10. "Soon, we are as naked as the day we were born. Except, y'know, were not covered in blood and attached to our mothers by umbilical cords." ~ Fanny Merkin

11. "I'd do you." "I think you did once" I say. "Oh yeah." ~ Fanny Merkin

12. "HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT" ~ Fanny Merkin

13. "I stare at her blankly. We don't have elevators in Portland. "This is my first elevator ride. How do they work exactly?" ~ Fanny Merkin

14. "Walmart suddenly smells like a prosti-tot pageant." ~ Fanny Merkin

15. "Take your finger out of your nose, Miss Steal." ~ Fanny Merkin

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Today's Quote

What you must realize, what you must even come to praise, is the fact that there is no right way that is going to become apparent to you once and for all. The most blinding illumination that strikes and perhaps radically changes your life will be so attenuated and obscured by doubts and dailiness that you may one day come to suspect the truth of that moment at all. The calling that seemed so clear will be lost in echoes of questionings and indecision; the church that seemed to save you will fester with egos, complacencies, banalities; the deepest love of your life will work itself like a thorn in your heart until all you can think of is plucking it out. Wisdom is accepting the truth of this. Courage is persisting with life in spite of it. And faith is finding yourself, in the deepest part of your soul, in the very heart of who you are, moved to praise it."
Author: Christian Wiman