Janet Evanovich quotes: top famous quotes and sayings by Janet Evanovich

Top Janet Evanovich Quotes

Browse top 319 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Janet Evanovich.

Favorite Janet Evanovich Quotes

1. "Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum" ~ Janet Evanovich

2. "Mary Lou et moi, on est amies depuis qu'on est toutes petites. J'étais le boute-en-train de service, et elle, le cancre de la classe. « Cancre » n'est peut-être pas le mot juste. Disons que ses objectifs n'étaient pas très hauts. Elle voulait se marier et fonder une famille. Et si elle pouvait épouser le capitaine d'une équipe de foot, c'était encore mieux. [...]Moi, à la même époque, je rêvais d'épouser Aladin pour qu'il m'emmène sur son tapis volant. Donc, vous voyez : on n'avait pas les mêmes valeurs." ~ Janet Evanovich

3. "On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time." ~ Janet Evanovich

4. "Fuck," Ranger said.Ranger didn't often curse and he rarely raised his voice. The fuck has been entirely conversational. Like he was now midly inconvenienced. He put his Bates boot to the door and the door popped open.." ~ Janet Evanovich

5. "I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea." ~ Janet Evanovich

6. "You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out." ~ Janet Evanovich

7. "I'll be real discreet," Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be." ~ Janet Evanovich

8. "Diesel rocked back on his heels and grinned at the monkey. "Carl?" "Eep!" The monkey stood, squinted at Diesel, and gave him the finger. "Looks like you know each other," I said. "Our paths crossed in Trenton," Diesel said. "How did he get here?" "Monkey Rescue," Glo told him. "He was abandoned." "Figures," Diesel said. The monkey gave him the finger again. "Does he do that all the time?" I asked Diesel. "Not all the time." "I got him by mistake," Glo said. "And now we don't know what to do with him." "You could turn him loose and let him go play in traffic." Diesel said. - Lizzy, Shirley, Diesel, and Carl, pages 132-134." ~ Janet Evanovich

9. "Thats what her cars do," Lula said. "They explode. But I gotta tell you this was the best. This here's the first time she exploded a garbage truck. One time her truck got hit with an antitank missile. That wasn't bad either, but it couldn't compare to this." ~ Janet Evanovich

10. "I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities." ~ Janet Evanovich

11. "Sweetie, nothing that flies looks safe, including birds." ~ Janet Evanovich

12. "I figured I'd embellish the truth a little, since the police might not be up on the finer points of bounty hunterism and might not understand about commandeering." ~ Janet Evanovich

13. "Sally put his gun back in his pants. "Guess I flunked the estrogen test."We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma said what Lula and I were thinking."I thought that bulge was your dingdong,"Grandma said."Jesus," Sally said, "who do you think I am, Thunder the Wonder Horse? My gun wouldn't fit in my purse.""You need to get a smaller gun," Lula said. "Ruins your lines with that big old Glock in your drawers." ~ Janet Evanovich

14. "uh-oh," Ranger said. "you been reading those Nancy Drew books again?" ~ Janet Evanovich

15. "You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it.Lula to Stephanie" ~ Janet Evanovich

16. "What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?"Helen Plum" ~ Janet Evanovich

17. "they have enough testosterone between them, if testosterone were electricity they could light up New York City for the month of August" ~ Janet Evanovich

18. "Hey," Lula said to Ranger's man."You want to watch it? I just had my hair done. I don't need plaster in it. Next time just shoot a hole is this punk-ass loser, will you?" ~ Janet Evanovich

19. "My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco," ~ Janet Evanovich

20. "He doesn't look very smart," Diesel said. "He's not even giving me the finger." "Can monkey's do that?" Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. "Cool!" Hal said." ~ Janet Evanovich

21. "Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?" ~ Janet Evanovich

22. "Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three." ~ Janet Evanovich

23. "I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise." ~ Janet Evanovich

24. "I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce." ~ Janet Evanovich

25. "Think of this as an adventure, Diesel said.I'm from Jersey. I get my adventure on the Turnpike." ~ Janet Evanovich

26. "Not that I've noticed." She looked down at my gun. "What a nice Glock. My sister carries a Glock, and she just loves it. I was thinking about trading in my .45, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My dead husband gave it to me for our first anniversary. Rest his soul." ~ Janet Evanovich

27. "Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel.'That's my boy,' Diesel said." ~ Janet Evanovich

28. "Morelli was wearing a blazer over a black knit shirt, He took a seat, and his jacket swung wide, exposing the gun at his hip."Nice piece!" Grandma said. "What is it? Is that a forty-five?""It's a nine- millimeter.""Don't suppose you'd let me see it," Grandma said. "I'd sure like to get the feel of a gun like that.""No!" said everyone in unison."I shot a chicken once," Grandma explained to Morelli. "It was an accident.""Where did you shoot it?" he finally asked."In the gumpy," Grandma said. "Shot it clear off." ~ Janet Evanovich

29. "His can of pepper spray was bigger than my can of pepper spray." ~ Janet Evanovich

30. "Remember, so swashing anyone into the trunk of your car!""Sure," Lula said, "I know that" ~ Janet Evanovich

31. "God bless YouTube," Lula said. "You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube." ~ Janet Evanovich

32. "He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I'm coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple." ~ Janet Evanovich

33. "Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut." ~ Janet Evanovich

34. "Stephanie Plum,"I almost never shoot anyone." ~ Janet Evanovich

35. "Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes." ~ Janet Evanovich

36. "Nice tackle, babe."Ranger" ~ Janet Evanovich

37. "I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. "Killing is wrong." "We kill chickens," Mr. Wexler said. "We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers." It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers." ~ Janet Evanovich

38. "Stephanie Plum: Do you have your stun gun and pepper sray?Lula: Does a chicken have a pecker? I could invade Bulgaria with the shit i've got in my handbag." ~ Janet Evanovich

39. "Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts."I looked over at him.All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now."Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic." ~ Janet Evanovich

40. "Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up." ~ Janet Evanovich

41. "Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside." ~ Janet Evanovich

42. "Ranger's gonna hate this," Tank said. "Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel." ~ Janet Evanovich

43. "I was waiting for my body receipt when Morelli walked in. He nodded to Ranger and grinned at me in my whiteness. "I was at my desk, and Mickey told me I had to come out to take a look," Morelli said. "It's floor," I told him. "I can see that. If we add some milk and eggs, we can turn you into a cake." ~ Janet Evanovich

44. "I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature." ~ Janet Evanovich

45. "It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away." ~ Janet Evanovich

46. "These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum" ~ Janet Evanovich

47. "Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob.""Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight." ~ Janet Evanovich

48. "I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality." ~ Janet Evanovich

49. "She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight."[Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?""Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home."I could feel the heat rush to my face.Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight," he said." ~ Janet Evanovich

50. "I hate mornings. They start so early." ~ Janet Evanovich

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