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Top Jean Shepherd Quotes

Browse top 12 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Jean Shepherd.

Favorite Jean Shepherd Quotes

1. "What the hell time is it?" muttered the old man. He was always an aggressive sleeper. Sleep was one of the things he did best, and he loved it. Some look upon sleep as an unfortunate necessary interruption of life; but there are others who hold that sleep is life, or at least one of the more fulfilling aspects of it, like eating or sex. Any time my old man's sleep was interrupted, he became truly dangerous." ~ Jean Shepherd
2. "Preparing to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep sea diving." ~ Jean Shepherd
3. "Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense." ~ Jean Shepherd
4. "I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan." ~ Jean Shepherd
5. "Semicolon, you dolt!" ~ Jean Shepherd
6. "There are fewer things more thrilling in life than lumpy letters. That rattle." ~ Jean Shepherd
7. "Excelsior, you fatheads." ~ Jean Shepherd
8. "The Bumpuses were so low down on the evolutionary totem pole that they weren't even included in Darwin's famous family tree. They had inbred and ingrown and finally emerged from the Kentucky hills like some remnant of Attila the Hung's barbarian horde. Flick said that they had webbed feet and only three toes. It might have been true." ~ Jean Shepherd
9. "Whither goest all of us, huh...for cryin' out loud?" ~ Jean Shepherd
10. "I've met them down in the Cost and Accounting Department, clean-shaven and in white collars. They can't see a damn thing ridiculous about themselves... only about you." ~ Jean Shepherd
11. "I had been an eyewitness to a truly historic moment in American pop culture." ~ Jean Shepherd
12. "That reminds me of something that happened to me when I was a kid." ~ Jean Shepherd

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Today's Quote

You're seriously in love, you know that? It's a great feeling, unless it hurts like a bitch."
Author: Aleksandr Voinov

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