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Top Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

Browse top 20 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Jeff Foxworthy.

Favorite Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

1. "If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck" ~ Jeff Foxworthy
2. "I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead" ~ Jeff Foxworthy
3. "If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'" ~ Jeff Foxworthy
4. "I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
5. "If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
6. "Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
7. "You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
8. "You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
9. "Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
10. "I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
11. "The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
12. "Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
13. "I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
14. "I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
15. "Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
16. "I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
17. "There's no down time any more." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
18. "Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it." ~ Jeff Foxworthy
19. "Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?" ~ Jeff Foxworthy
20. "Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?" ~ Jeff Foxworthy

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Guess everything with real love is going to be super fucked up and fuck the people up until they can't be fucked no more and then some."
Author: Alyse M. Gardner

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