Jonathan Ames quotes: top famous quotes and sayings by Jonathan Ames

Top Jonathan Ames Quotes

Browse top 35 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Jonathan Ames.

Favorite Jonathan Ames Quotes

1. "I'm on the verge of a total breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas, possibly. It's an absurd existence." ~ Jonathan Ames

2. "Try to think about more important things,' he said. 'Think about your soul, your character. Think about the freezer. It's a solid block of ice. It needs defrosting. There might a steak in there. Concentrate on things like that. There could be a meal in it." ~ Jonathan Ames

3. "Anyway, what do women grab when they're nervous and sitting at their desks? Do they slip their hands inside their panties? What a distracting thought. Just the word panty is distracting. I love that word; it implies so much. I love how women look in panties, how they're flat in the front. I'm thirty-five, but sometimes it's still this beautiful amazing shock to me that women don't have penises. They just have this lovely little mound of hair and then this tucked away glorious hole. Hole. Wait. Hole sounds vulgar. Is passageway better? Pretty envelope? Georgia O'Keeffe flower? Pussy? Pussy is good. I like the word pussy. Tucked away beautiful pussy. I wish I could put my face in one right now and sing out, "I love you!" ~ Jonathan Ames

4. "I hid my underwear beneath a parked Peugeot." ~ Jonathan Ames

5. "I do think everyone would be a lot happier if we laid eggs on our own and could just have friendship and didn't need to mount and penetrate one another." ~ Jonathan Ames

6. "It's very hard not to commit cancer suicide in America." ~ Jonathan Ames

7. "Essentially I'm a pantheist-agnostic. I worship many deities with equal amounts of confusion." ~ Jonathan Ames

8. "It's not easy taking care of one's self, determining nap lengths and all that, but with two people it's a manageable job." ~ Jonathan Ames

9. "I live for coincidences. They briefly give to me the illusion or the hope that there's a pattern to my life, and if there's a pattern, then maybe I'm moving toward some kind of destiny where it's all explained." ~ Jonathan Ames

10. "For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone." ~ Jonathan Ames

11. "I know I experience great consolation when my mouth is between a woman's legs. I think it must be because I'm drinking in her happiness." ~ Jonathan Ames

12. "I was aware that I was acting atrociously but I couldn't stop myself. Rarely had I behaved in such a manner. But I guess when we're feeling lonely in life, we attack those who actually do love us. It's one of the things that characterizes human nature and can be summed up in one word: FLAWED." ~ Jonathan Ames

13. "Insightful and heartbreaking, but also wonderfully comedic in its gutsy honesty. A beautiful and powerful memoir." ~ Jonathan Ames

14. "I wondered where the person was who had taken my place, who wanted to know what news people had been told. I'm always looking for the person who replaces me, who thinks the things I do, who fills in for me when I'm not there. I know there is someone younger than me doing what I did and someone older doing what I will do, and someone my age being just like me." ~ Jonathan Ames

15. "I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way." ~ Jonathan Ames

16. "I need to stay in the present and use that new-age mantra: 'I'm okay right now.' But I worry about all the things I'm failing at every moment." ~ Jonathan Ames

17. "A lot of writing is a form of seeing - putting down what you see in terms of action and landscape." ~ Jonathan Ames

18. "For me, the past is dead. Can't go back." ~ Jonathan Ames

19. "I am always the source of the worst rumors about myself." ~ Jonathan Ames

20. "I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college." ~ Jonathan Ames

21. "I didn't play or like a lot of board games as a child. I liked playing with my G.I. Joes and making up adventures for them." ~ Jonathan Ames

22. "I don't like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew." ~ Jonathan Ames

23. "I don't really recognise success. I don't see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off." ~ Jonathan Ames

24. "I drink coffee. Without coffee, I probably couldn't write." ~ Jonathan Ames

25. "I have very few hobbies. In fact, I have no hobbies." ~ Jonathan Ames

26. "I promote my own self-hatred." ~ Jonathan Ames

27. "I'm actually much more shy and self-conscious than people's perception of me." ~ Jonathan Ames

28. "I've really never written about my relationships, or things like that. I wouldn't want to divulge things that were too private." ~ Jonathan Ames

29. "It's hard for me to think of writing a novel, because it takes so long." ~ Jonathan Ames

30. "It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to look to New York." ~ Jonathan Ames

31. "Mostly I have to try to censor myself so as not to write things that will hurt other people, or that will go too far." ~ Jonathan Ames

32. "Something has happened where you almost never grow up in America. Maybe it's the greater wealth." ~ Jonathan Ames

33. "The reason it's hard for me to tweet is I don't want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing." ~ Jonathan Ames

34. "There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly." ~ Jonathan Ames

35. "There's no shortage of material in life." ~ Jonathan Ames

Jonathan Ames Quotes Pictures

Jonathan Ames Quotes

Jonathan Ames Quotes

Jonathan Ames Quotes

<< Ben Nicholson Quotes

Noriel Espanol Neo Quotes >>

Today's Quote

My purpose is to have American Jews look away from the success story with which they've cheered themselves up, and to have them remember the classical tradition, whatever it is."
Author: Arthur Hertzberg

What Did Jonathan Ames Talk About?

Famous Authors

Popular Topics