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Top Lesley Kagen Quotes

Browse top 23 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Lesley Kagen.

Favorite Lesley Kagen Quotes

1. "...things can happen when you least expect them so you always gotta be prepared. And pay attention to the details. The devil is in the details." ~ Lesley Kagen
2. "Life, it is not simple like a garden, where flowers are always flowers and weeds are always weeds." ~ Lesley Kagen
3. "Nobody can get at your heart once it's lying six feet under." ~ Lesley Kagen
4. "I know some first-class Negroes. I also know some second-rate white people." ~ Lesley Kagen
5. "...[Joseph] and the Virgin Mary got turned away from the inn and had to go sleep in the manger. (Not with the manager, like Troo says.)" ~ Lesley Kagen
6. "Can you see the fireworks from Heaven?" ~ Lesley Kagen
7. "Ethel Jackson was the cool side of my pillow when I had a fever." ~ Lesley Kagen
8. "...And he shouldn't have talked to Mama in the hurtful ways he did neither. Calling her despicable names because she wanted to do things her own independent way instead of his. He uses his silver tongue like a sword. Nicking away at your heart, cutting word by cutting word. Maybe silence really is golden." ~ Lesley Kagen
9. "Troo hits the hay every night like a bale falling out of our old barn loft." ~ Lesley Kagen
10. "Troo's a little in front of me bouncing a red rubber ball that she 'borrowed' from the playground shed. She's warming up to play that A my name is Annie and I come from Alabama with a carload of apples game. When she gets to the letter f, her name will be Fifi and she will come from where else but France. I refuse to repeat what she will have a carload of." ~ Lesley Kagen
11. "THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER1. Make Father Mickey lose his black Irish temper.2. Wear a turtleneck, take in a deep breath and get strangled.3. Mary Lane takes the picture.4. Practice getting away.5. Sally puts the pedal to the metal.6. Randa Rhonda Rendezvous" ~ Lesley Kagen
12. "His mean justified his end." ~ Lesley Kagen
13. "My arms were covered in scratches and had bled a little so I licked my finger and cleaned them off and thought God would have done a better job if he made blood taste like Three Musketeers bars." ~ Lesley Kagen
14. "--I wouldn't throw that cat out of bed.--When did you get a cat?" ~ Lesley Kagen
15. "People can be so cruel to the different." ~ Lesley Kagen
16. "Since Troo was in her office at least once a week for doing one bad thing or another, Sister told me she's thinking of having the chair in the corner of her office engraved permanently with Troo's name. (If she bothered to look at the back, she could save a few bucks. Troo stole a penknife out of the Five and Dime last summer.)" ~ Lesley Kagen
17. "So might I suggest at your earliest convenience that you pay a visit to the Okins Funeral Salon to make arrangements?""Why'd I wanna do that?" she says so damn snippy."Because on my return visit you can count on my beatin' the ever-lovin' shit outta you with a rusty shovel. Twice." ~ Lesley Kagen
18. "Let bygones be bygones because everybody knew that forgiveness was divine." ~ Lesley Kagen
19. "If we could find Sara's body, we'd probably get a reward and our pictures in the newspaper like Mary Lane did when she called in that fire she set." ~ Lesley Kagen
20. "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer... If one of those bottles should happen to fall, there'd be how many bottles of beer on the wall?" ~ Lesley Kagen
21. "Eddie's ma, that would be Mrs. Callahan, her husband got killed last winter over at the Feelin' Good Cookie Factory. They had an open casket at the funeral so you could see dead Mr. Callahan, who hadn't looked that great in life and looked even worse in death. Especially after that cookie press got to him. But Mr. Becker from Becker Funeral Homes had done a nice job fluffing Mr. Callahan's face back out again so he ended up looking like one of those waxy mannequins that you pay a dime to see up at the Wisconsin state Fair." ~ Lesley Kagen
22. "When I was sure she was asleep, I got up and went into Mother's room and pulled her yellow nightie out from the bottom drawer of her dresser, and then I got Daddy's Timex from the dressing table and put it on my wrist. After I said my prayers and told Daddy I was sorry like I did every night, I laid down at the foot of Mother's bed and drifted off to the sound of rain that was strong enough to be good for the crops, and tried and tried to remember the last time I felt safe." ~ Lesley Kagen
23. "...things happen when you least expect them. Things that can change your whole life." ~ Lesley Kagen

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Today's Quote

When a writer is swayed with his fame and his fortune, you can float him down the river with the turds."
Author: Charles Bukowski

What Did Lesley Kagen Talk About?

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