Mark Forsyth quotes: top famous quotes and sayings by Mark Forsyth

Top Mark Forsyth Quotes

Browse top 12 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Mark Forsyth.

Favorite Mark Forsyth Quotes

1. "It is time to buddle (scrub in water) all that is not illutile (unwash-awayable). Baudelaire said that humans were deluded if they thought they could wash away all their spots with vile tears, but Baudelaire was French and therefore knew nothing about hygiene or shower gel." ~ Mark Forsyth

2. "Love is nothing because those who do something for the love of it do it for nothing." ~ Mark Forsyth

3. "So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled all the time and eggs came out of the back of them." ~ Mark Forsyth

4. "If you are to use Alexander Graham Bell's product, which is to say the blower, you should, in all courtesy, use it as he would have wished; and Dr Bell insisted that all phone calls should begin with the words ‘Ahoy, ahoy'. Nobody knows why he insisted this – he had no connection to the navy – but insist he did and started every phone call that way. Nobody else did, and it was at the suggestion of his great rival Edison that people took to saying ‘Hello'. This seems unfair." ~ Mark Forsyth

5. "Wouldst like to con a glimmer with me this early black?', which he [Cab Calloway] helpfully explains as ‘the proper way to ask a young lady to go to the movies'. It should be noted here, that if the object of your affections replies ‘Kill me', they are not requesting to be euthanatised and you should not actually murder them. Kill me is merely the Cab Calloway way of saying ‘Show me a good time' and is the best response you could have hoped for. Jive was rather confusing in this way." ~ Mark Forsyth

6. "It was after an incident such as this that my friends and family decided something must be done. They gathered for a confabulation and, having established that secure psychiatric care was beyond their means, they turned in despair to the publishing industry, which has a long history of picking up where social work leaves off." ~ Mark Forsyth

7. "A book would therefore have a twofold benefit. First, it would rid me of my demons and perhaps save some innocent conversationalist from my clutches. Second, unlike me, a book could be left snugly on the bedside table or beside the lavatory: opened at will and closed at will." ~ Mark Forsyth

8. "Gambling in medieval France was a simple business. All you needed were some friends, a pot, and a chicken. In fact, you didn't need friends—you could do this with your enemies—but the pot and the chicken were essential." ~ Mark Forsyth

9. "Every dictionary contains a world. I open a book of thieves' slang from Queen Anne's reign and they have a hundred words for swords, for wenches, and for being hanged. They did no die, they danced on nothing. Then I peek into any one of my rural Victorian dictionaries, compiled by a lonely clergyman, with words for coppices, thickets, lanes, diseases of horses and innumerable terms for kinds of eel. They gave names to the things of their lives, and their lives are collected in these dictionaries – every detail and joke and belief. I have their worlds piled up on my desk." ~ Mark Forsyth

10. "Poetry is much more important than the truth, and, if you don't believe that, try using the two methods to get laid." ~ Mark Forsyth

11. "Oxygen was called flammable air for a while, but it didn't catch on." ~ Mark Forsyth

12. "Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was the sausage-maker who disposed of the body." ~ Mark Forsyth

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That's cool." Hale nodded, unfazed. "But just so you know, that"---he pointed to the piece of metal peeking out from behind the stage---"is a Hurst 5,000 PSI hydraulic spreader-cutter, more commonly know as the Jaws of Life.""So?" "So I'm not a normal boy."
Author: Ally Carter