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Top Nick Wilgus Quotes

Browse top 7 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Nick Wilgus.

Favorite Nick Wilgus Quotes

1. "It's good," Jackson said. "You're just saying that," I replied. "No, really, it's good. A little greasy…." "The grease is part of the charm," I pointed out. "Said the heart attack to the clogged arteries." "You're in the South now, boy. Grease is one of the four main food groups." ~ Nick Wilgus
2. "Bad weather's moving in," the old bird said, finally handing me a check. Never seen so many tornadoes in my life. We don't need no more of those," I agreed. "Last time one went through, the wind blew so hard I had to have my butt cheeks sewn back together." ~ Nick Wilgus
3. "What do you do for fun in this town?Well, you know. Wash dishes. Wipe up baby drool, put a new quart of oil in him once in a while. Watch the Weather Channel to see if any of the neighbors have been blown away by a tornado. Eat too much cheese and get cheese farts. Keeps you busy, huh?" ~ Nick Wilgus
4. "So you're lying to me again?" "It's a Southern tradition." "Are there any crocs in the water?" "I done told you there ain't no crocodiles around here." "What's the difference?" "Mostly the spelling,..." ~ Nick Wilgus
5. "Don't swear in front of my kids, Papaw," Bill said hotly. "Daddy, hush," Mama said. "I'll swear anytime I goddamn want to, Billy Cantrell," Papaw replied. "You Christians are so uptight. Every time you sit down, I hold my breath because I'm afraid you'll suck the whole goddamn world up your asses." "Daddy!" Mama cried. "It's true, Martha. You should know. There's a hole in the sofa where you're always sitting. Probably got half the living room swirling around in your rectum. Billy's probably got half of Tupelo up his ass. Next time something comes up missing, Shelly, just tell him to bend over and take a look in his ass because that's probably where it is." ~ Nick Wilgus
6. "...My friend Bo had just finished skinny-dipping when one of those bastards came trotting out of the woods and bit his dick clean off." "Just bit it off? Just like that?" "Yeah," I said. "Then that bastard pig put it on a stick and heated it over the campfire while Bo ran home and tried to explain it to his mama." ~ Nick Wilgus
7. "We don't hide crazy," I said. "We put it on the porch and let it entertain the neighbors." ~ Nick Wilgus

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Today's Quote

Yes, the human race is a small species in an infinite universe filled with many other planets and many other things, but though small; this race is bearer of very great and big things: Destiny, Virtue, Hope, Love... and that's what makes this species different. That's what makes this species very shiny and very visible and very important, in a whole, whole, big, big, vast, expanding universe!"
Author: C. JoyBell C.

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