Andy Quotes

1. "History tells us of the case of a man living under the peculiar delusion that he was a fried egg. Quite how or when this idea had entered his head, no one knew, but he now refused to sit down anywhere for fear that he would ‘break himself' and ‘spill the yolk'. His doctors tried sedatives and other drugs to appease his fears, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, one of them made the effort to enter the mind of the deluded patient and suggested that he should carry a piece of toast with him at all times, which he could place on any chair he wished to sit on, and thereby protect himself from breaking his yolk. From then on, the deluded man was never seen without a piece of toast handy, and was able to continue a more or less normal existence."
Author: Alain De Botton

2. "To the eyes of the American soldiers who drove past, I looked no different from the women around me; and as I thought of it, who could say I was any different? If you no longer have leaves, or bark, or roots, can you go on calling yourself a tree? "I am a peasant," I said to myself, "and not a geisha at all any longer." It was a frightening feeling to look at my hands and see their roughness. To draw my mind away from my fears, I turned my attention again to the truckloads of soldiers driving past. Weren't these the very American soldiers we'd been taught to hate, who had bombed our cities with such horrifying weapons? Now they rode through our neighborhood, throwing pieces of candy to the children."
Author: Arthur Golden

3. "And that's why, you know, it's players like Randy Moss that unfortunately put a stain on the entire league."
Author: Boomer Esiason

4. "We loved Andy, so we wanted to keep him. He was in both bands, but Nerve Agents broke up."
Author: Brody Armstrong

5. "You couldn't stop staring at his butt the other day."Della's mouth dropped open and she rolled her eyes. "You are so wrong." She fanned herself with her hand. "But the boy is eye candy to the max."
Author: C.C. Hunter

6. "I shoplifted. I was about five years old, and I took a candy from a store. We paid for three of them, but I took four, and I went home and cried. My mom took me back, and I paid for the missing piece."
Author: Carrie Anne Moss

7. "He knew one thing for sure, though. Whatever happened, Matt would have some handy excuse. He'd make up some story or change an old one, find some dumb quote to explain it all."
Author: Charlie Higson

8. "Supernatural healing was a handy trick for an absentminded vampire, although it would make my enemies harder to kill. Tit for tat, I guess."
Author: Chloe Neill

9. "Randy young couples in Naples don't even bother with lovers' lanes they simply park on any street and paste the windows with newspaper. A daughter with an encyclopaedic knowledge of current affairs is not something a Neapolitan father brags about. To ensure the undivided attentions of their partner some men prefer to paste the windows with the sports newspaper. Maybe that's why La Gazzetta dello Sport is pink—to enhance the mood."
Author: Chris Harrison

10. "He squints at me. "Except for the red hair and freckles, you look okay. You'll be fine and dandy sitting at the table with a napkin on your lap."
Author: Christina Baker Kline

11. "My point is I know Brandy is maybe probably going to die, but I just can't get into it."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk

12. "James' first concern had been Ralph, who was indeed travelling over the holiday, staying with his dad at his flat in London. Zane assured them that he'd already been to see Ralph, warning him to keep his wand handy and try to never be alone."
Author: G. Norman Lippert

13. "Oh that. Men do fall in love with me. They seem to think me a creature with volcanic passions; I'm sure I don't know why. All the volcanic women I know are plain little creatures with sandy hair. I don't consider human volcanoes respectable. And I'm so tired of the subject. Our house is always full of women in love with my husband and men in love with me. We encourage it because it's pleasant to have company."
Author: George Bernard Shaw

14. "You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
Author: George Carlin

15. "How come we got the grumpy boat of bandy-legged Puritans? How come we didn't get the Italian party boat with the cappuccino makers and the gelato machine? That was the sexy boat, man."
Author: Greg Proops

16. "In her time Nor Tigelaar had faced insurrectionists and collaborationists and war profiteers. She'd endured abduction and prison and self-mutilation. She'd sold herself in sex not for cash but for military information that might come in handy to the resistance, and in so doing she'd come across a rum variety of human types."
Author: Gregory Maguire

17. "Oh yeah, I don't eat a lot of candy on tour. When I get home, man, I love candy. Oh, man, and ice cream. I can't eat it on tour because of the sugar and my throat."
Author: Hayley Williams

18. "Messengers wait outside the door, to carry urgent orders for release. It is difficult, when the pen skips over a name, to associate it with the corpse it might belong to, tomorrow or the day after that. There is no sense of evil in the room, just tiredness and the aftertaste of petty squabbling. Camille drinks quite a lot of Fabre's brandy. Towards daybreak, a kind of dismal camaraderie sets in."
Author: Hilary Mantel

19. "As that fucking chandelier twinkled overhead, Blay said roughly, "I'm still in love with him."Saxton dropped his eyes and brushed a the top of his thigh, as if there might have been a tiny piece of lint there. "I know. You thought you weren't?"As if that were rather stupid of him."I'm so fucking tired of it. I really am.""That I believe.""Im so fucking..." God, those sounds, that muted pounding , that audible confirmation of what he had been ignoring for the past year--On a sudden wave of violence, he pitched the brandy snifter at the marble fireplace, shattering the thing."Fuck, Fuck!" If he'd been able to, he'd have jumped up and torn that goddamn cocksucking light fixture off the goddamn cocksucking ceiling."
Author: J.R. Ward

20. "I gave him a kick and he stepped back onto the third rail. Exploding, flaming eraser! This is why moms tell you to stay away from the third rail, but it sure came in handy this time."
Author: James Patterson

21. "Like Andy Warhol and unlike God Almighty, Larry King does not presume to judge; all celebrities are equal in his eyes, saints and sinners alike sharing the same 'Love Boat' voyage into the dark beyond, a former sitcom star as deserving of pious send-off as Princess Diana."
Author: James Wolcott

22. "Every Halloween I missed being a kid, getting to dress up and eat tons of candy. The only thing I got to do now was…eat tones of Candy. Not half bad"
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout

23. "Minds me of a story they tell about Willy Feeley when he was a young fella. Willy was bashful, awful bashful. Well, one day he takes a heifer over to Graves' bull. Ever'body was out but Elsie Graves, and Elsie wasn't bashful at all. Willy, he stood there turnin' red an' he couldn't even talk. Elsie says, 'I know what you come for; the bull's out in back a the barn.' Well, they took the heifer out there an' Willy an' Elsie sat on the fence to watch. Purty soon Willy got feelin' purty fly. Elsie looks over an' says, like she don't know, 'What's a matter, Willy?' Willy's so randy, he can't hardly set still. 'By God,' he says, 'by God, I wisht I was a-doin' that!' Elsie says, 'Why not, WIlly? It's your heifer."
Author: John Steinbeck

24. "I'm a huge candy fan. My favorite growing up was always Sour Belts or Sour Straws."
Author: Kendall Schmidt

25. "You'd better come in handy. Something tells me we won't have time to be saving damsels in distress."Anna's brows knit. "Damsels? You get sliced open, burned, and dashed against the rocks about a thousand times or so. Then we'll see who the damsel is."
Author: Kendare Blake

26. "After we left the bedroom, I overheard Henry teasing Bryce about adding a little more nuts to his candy bars, and I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see me laughing."
Author: Kristen Middleton

27. "Bed is the only place for protracted telephoning. It is also execellently suited to reading, sleeping and listening to canaries. It is not a good place for sex: sex should take place in armchairs, or in bathrooms, or on lawns which have been brushed but not too recently mown, or on sandy beaches if you happen to have been circumcised. If you are too tired to have intercourse except in bed you are probably too tired anyway and should be husbanding your strength."
Author: Kyril Bonfiglioli

28. "You see, in the Czech Republic, on December fifth, St. Nicholas goes around bringing candy and small gifts to children, accompanied by an angel and a devil. In a holiday tradition that is the stuff of nightmares, the devil threatens to scoop bad children into his sack and carry them to hell. (And you thought coal in your stocking was harsh?)"
Author: Laini Taylor

29. "The Brigands charged in with their weapons drawn."Who are you?" Young Bertie asked."We're the bad guys!" their leader announced."What are you going to do?""Plunder and pillage!" one of them yelled.The others immediately shoved him. "Not in front of the kid, Ralph! Fer cryin' out loud...""Oh, yeah. Sorry! We're here to take your candy!"
Author: Lisa Mantchev

30. "As humans, we waste the shit out of our words. It's sad. We use words like "awesome" and "wonderful" like they're candy. It was awesome? Really? It inspired awe? It was wonderful? Are you serious? It was full of wonder? You use the word "amazing" to describe a goddamn sandwich at Wendy's. What's going to happen on your wedding day, or when your first child is born? How will you describe it? You already wasted "amazing" on a fucking sandwich."
Author: Louis C.K.

31. "Dandy," Martin replied, once again pleased with his response. A girl can make a guy feel good, great, and even fabulous, but how often does a lady hear that her man is feeling dandy?Not often, he guessed."
Author: Matthew Dicks

32. "Then came that sigh. I wish I had had a tape recorder handy every time in my life that I heard a boy sigh at the outset of urination. What a lovely sound. So much satisfaction. Girls sigh far less often before they pee, and not with the same devotion, I think. If only I had such a recording of boys' sighs. I would lie on a pillow in the sunlight of the late afternoon, sometimes listening to Chopin, sometimes Schubert, and sometimes to the sighs, seriatim, of all the boys about to pee."
Author: Matthew Sharpe

33. "Without any effort of his will, or power to restrain himself, he shrieked aloud; an outcry that went pealing through the night, and was beaten back from one house to another, and reverberated from the hills in the background; as if a company of devils, detecting so much misery and terror in it, had made a plaything of the sound and were bandying it to and fro."
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

34. "My se ve svete protloukáme, protože víme, že dve plus dve jsou ctyri, a držíme se toho tak usilovne, až je to kapku hloupý a obcas se to muže dotknout necích citu. Je mi to líto."„Cích citu jako? Lidí, co si myslí, že dve plus dve je pet?"„Lidí, pro který je duležitejší spolecenský chování než to, aby každá veta vyslovená behem rozhovoru byla doslovne pravdivá."„Jako, kupríkladu… žen?"Randy asi míli skrípe zuby a pak rekne: „Pokud vubec existuje nejaký zevšeobecnení toho, jak uvažujou muži versus ženy, tak podle me je to v tom, že muži se dokážou soustredit jako laserovej paprsek na neuveritelne mrnavou malickost a nemyslet na nic jinýho." „Kdežto ženy to nedokážou?"„Predpokládám, že dokážou. Ale zrejme málokdy chtejí."
Author: Neal Stephenson

35. "The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Takes Me to Pick Up This Food Rule."
Author: Neil Pasricha

36. "Tool," William said,...."As in a device to perform or facilitate mechanical or manual labor?" "That's right Encyclopedia Britannica. Or in layman's terms: screwdriver, hammer—" "How about a wrench," William interrupted," —"You've got a quick learner on your hands, Bryn," Paul said .... "Sure, wrench works just fine as well," ... "Whatever blows your skirt up buddy." ..."Well a wrench would come in handy right now," William mused. "Because you definitely have a couple screws loose. Credit Eternal Eden"
Author: Nicole Williams

37. "While 'Rap Trax!' recorded, Neel found some scrap paper and we started writing our first lyrics. Bandying about subject matter and title, we got stuck on the idea of 'cool', so my first rap song became 'Pretty Cool'. It was a symbol of our confidence. We weren't awesome cool or mega cool. We were only... pretty cool."
Author: Nikesh Shukla

38. "My rock candy passion is bittersweetAnd armed to the teethCuz she would rather fall in chocolateThan fall in love.. Especially with me!"
Author: Owl City

39. "It sounds dumb, but one of the first things I'd thought of was that I'd look like the Vandy: covered in swirling purple markings, even on my face. It wouldn't be an easy thing to explain away in the human world, but I was hoping "crazy spring break" might work."
Author: Rachel Hawkins

40. "It's a really subtle kind of thing. It makes me feel like Randy Harrison is not a human being to them."
Author: Randy Harrison

41. "Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)"
Author: Richard Kadrey

42. "I tried to help you make better choices. You could have saved yourself. But you defied me at every step. You built your ship. You joined that foolish quest. Now you are trapped here, helpless, while the mortal world dies. Leo's hands burst into flame. He wanted to melt Gaea's sandy face to glass. Then he felt Calypso's hand on his shoulder."Gaea." Her voice was stern and steady. "You are not welcome."
Author: Rick Riordan

43. "Brandy is one of my favorite vocalists. Jay-Z is my favorite emcee outside of Biggie."
Author: Rico Love

44. "To tell the truth I cannot call my childhood bad. In your childhood you can't compare things: one eats carrots, one eats candy, both taste good. As a child you cannot tell the difference."
Author: Roman Abramovich

45. "I like crazy, childlike, candy bar-filled cakes with gooey caramel, chocolate-covered nuts, marshmallows, and the like."
Author: Ron Ben Israel

46. "Awards are always a pleasant surprise. They are the candy-floss parts of our job - a lovely added extra to attract people's attention. The bottom line is that you want to sell tickets."
Author: Sophie Thompson

47. "Language is my whore, my mistress, my wife, my pen-friend, my check-out girl. Language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or handy freshen-up wipette. Language is the breath of God, the dew on a fresh apple, it's the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of morning sun when you pull from an old bookshelf a forgotten volume of erotic diaries; language is the faint scent of urine on a pair of boxer shorts, it's a half-remembered childhood birthday party, a creak on the stair, a spluttering match held to a frosted pane, the warm wet, trusting touch of a leaking nappy, the hulk of a charred Panzer, the underside of a granite boulder, the first downy growth on the upper lip of a Mediterranean girl, cobwebs long since overrun by an old Wellington boot."
Author: Stephen Fry

48. "Andy was the part of me they could never lock up, the part of me that will rejoice when the gates finally open for me and I walk out in my cheap suit with my twenty dollars of mad-money in my pocket. That part of me will rejoice no matter how old and broken and scared the rest of me is. I guess it's just that Andy had more of that part than me, and used it better. -Red"
Author: Stephen King

49. "They took a baseball batand whacked open his head.Mummy Boy fell to the ground;he finally was dead. Inside of his headwere no candy or prizes,just a few stray beetlesof various sizes."
Author: Tim Burton

50. "Unfortunately his urge to write had suddenly petered out and he did not know what to do with himself. He was not sleepy having slept after dinner. The brandy only added to the nuisance. He was a big heavy man of the hairy sort with a somewhat Beethovenlike face. He had lost his wife in November. He had taught philosophy. He was exceedingly virile. His name was Adam Krug."
Author: Vladimir Nabokov

Andy Quotes Pictures