Top Bathroom Quotes

Browse top 466 famous quotes and sayings about Bathroom by most favorite authors.

Favorite Bathroom Quotes

1. "Maybe you know something about young people, and maybe you don't. I, having been one myself once upon a time, know a few things about them. One thing I know is that if you don't want one to do something - for example, go into a room where there's a portrait of an unbearably beautiful princess- saying "It might cost you your life" is about the worst thing you can possibly say. Because then that's all that young person will want to do. I mean, why didn't Johannes say something else? Like, "It's a broom closet. Why? you want to see a broom closet?" Or, "It's a fake door, silly. For decoration." Or even, "It's the ladies' bathroom, Your Majesty. Best not go poking your head in there."
Author: Adam Gidwitz
2. "He strolled past Sin and brought his duffel bag with him into the bathroom. A few minutes passed before he reemerged in a dark green t-shirt with a picture of a pinwheel on it and white letters beneath that said simply, 'Blow me.' A pair of worn denim shorts hung low on his hips. Wide black leather bands hid his wrists and a pair of sunglasses on top of his head held his hair away from his now dark blue eyes in a messy tangle.Sin was no longer making any attempts to mess with the door. His eyes followed Boyd the entire time after he appeared from the bathroom and he was doing a very poor job of concealing that fact."
Author: Ais
3. "Help" is a prayer that is always answered. It doesn't matter how you pray--with your head bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing. Churches are good for prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors. Years ago I wrote an essay that began, "Some people think that God is in the details, but I have come to believe that God is in the bathroom."
Author: Anne Lamott
4. "The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
Author: Arthur C. Clarke
5. "Freshly brainwashed from rehab, I carry the bottle into the bathroom. I hold it up to the light. See the pretty bottle? Isn't it beautiful? Yes, it's beautiful. I unscrew the cap and pour it into the toilet. I flush twice. And then I think, why did I flush twice? The answer, is of course, because I truly do know myself. I cannot be sure I won't attempt to drink from the toilet, like a dog."
Author: Augusten Burroughs
6. "Look, Charlie," said Vince leaning back in his chair. "It's real simple. We will be four people--two men and two women--I figure it's better to have two women instead of three men and one woman so she'll have someone she can confide in and all. Women need that kind of thing. Anyway, we'll be four people--friends--housemates--equal partners. We'll be an alliance. We'll be just like family. And we'll help take care of one another. We'll have a nice home, each with our own private bedroom and bathroom, and a nice yard with flowers.""And maybe a vegetable garden," added Charlie."That's it," grinned Vince."
Author: Barbara Casey
7. "At 14, I am an experiment. Inside, I am resurrected. I am in the middle of the kind of explosion of perspective that, in later years, I will pay a great deal of money to emulate in nightclubs, and at parties, in bathrooms--counting out tenners for pills in order to feel a tenth this remorseless, expanded, and inspired."
Author: Caitlin Moran
8. "I ate in the bathroom the first day of high school. It was terrible. I had no one to sit with! I pretended I was going somewhere, but I wasn't. Don't think that there's anything wrong with you. Come out of your shell and be fearless. Be like, "Hey, what's up?" Never think that you're alone in this world. There are too many people in this world for you to be alone. And if you see somebody else aimlessly walking around, just say hi!"
Author: Camila Cabello
9. "Julián is now the bathroom of the chief executive. That day, when I returned to the bookshop after visiting the old house, I found a parcel bearing a Paris postmark. It contained a book calledThe Angel"
Author: Carlos Ruiz Zafón
10. "...What's the one superpower of June Elbus?"I thought about myself from head to toe. It was like being forced to read the most boring part of the Sears catalog. Like leafing through the bathroom accessories pages. Boring brain. Boring face. No sex appeal. Clumsy hands."Heart. Hard heart," I said, not sure where it came from. "The hardest heart in the world.""Hmmm," Toby said, tapping a finger in the air. "That's a useful one, you know. Very handy. The question is . . ." Toby paused like he was considering this all very seriously."What's the question?""The question is, stone or ice? Crack or melt?"
Author: Carol Rifka Brunt
11. "Issie?"After a second her voice comes out small and tired. "I'm not here.""Oh." I back up so I can stare at the bathroom door. No feet. "Then I should probably freak out because the toilet is talking back to me, huh? A little too many pain meds for Zara today."
Author: Carrie Jones
12. "September knew a number of curse words, most of which she heard the girls at school saying in the bathrooms, in hushed voices, as if the words could make things happen just by being spoken, as if they were fairy words, and had to be handled just so."
Author: Catherynne M. Valente
13. "Clinical trials have proven that projectile vomiting is up to FOUR times more efficient than ordinary vomiting. You don't even have to run to the bathroom! With practice, and careful placement of your chair within thirty feet--and line of sight--of your bathroom, you can project your lunch from the comfort of your armchair."
Author: Chris Dolley
14. "Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here are sleeping pills to swallow. You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you reenlist."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
15. "What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your hostages just long enough so you can use the bathroom."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
16. "My special thing as a kid was to play dead because I thought I was really good at it. When I was 7 or 8, I even did it in the bathroom with a hair dryer in the bathtub. I realized that I was good at it because each time my mom would scream."
Author: Daniel Bruhl
17. "The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes.John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?"
Author: David Wong
18. "Love is just another dirty lie. Love is ergoapiol pills to make me come around because you were afraid to have a baby. Love is quinine and quinine and quinine until I'm deaf with it. Love is that dirty aborting horror that you took me to. Love is my insides all messed up. It's half catheters and half whirling douches. I know about love. Love always hangs up behind the bathroom door. It smells like lysol. To hell with love. Love is making me happy and then going off to sleep with your mouth open while I lie awake all night afraid to say my prayers even because I know I have no right to anymore. Love is all the dirty little tricks you taught me that you probably got out of some book. All right. I'm through with you and I'm through with love."
Author: Ernest Hemingway
19. "I don't think having separate bathrooms is a key to a successful marriage, if you love one another."
Author: Ewan McGregor
20. "During his next visit, my father secretly decided that our bathroom needed towel hooks. Using nails that were too long, my father pierced the door, creating towel hooks on one side, medieval blinding devices on the other...No matter how inconvenient a household malfunction might be, Kazem can always make it worse, for free."
Author: Firoozeh Dumas
21. "With Naoko gone, I went to sleep on the sofa. I hadn't intended to do so, but I fell into the kind of deep sleep I had not in a long time, filled with a sense of Naoko's presence. In the kitchen were the dishes Naoko ate from, in the bathroom was the toothbrush Naoko used, and in the bedroom was the bed in which Naoko slept. Sleeping soundly in this apartment of hers, I wrung the fatigue from every cell of my body, drop by drop. I dreamed of a butterfly dancing in the half-light."
Author: Haruki Murakami
22. "I do think the secret to a good marriage is separate bathrooms."
Author: Heather Dubrow
23. "He bullied me a little, thinking I was weak just because I was quiet and smart and no one was allowed to touch me. But then I electrified the urinal flusher in the boys' bathroom at camp, watched him go inside, and then proceeded to laugh my ass off when the ambulance came."
Author: J.A. Huss
24. "Jill!" I called to her through our connecting bathroom as I pulled on some jeans. "You realize I've been more than twenty-four hours without a shower, right?" "Oh, who cares," she grumbled. "You look fine. Just put on some deodorant and a bra. I mean, aren't we just going to be getting sweaty lugging your stuff down from storage anyway?"
Author: J.M. Richards
25. "A Glimpse of Eternal Snows celebrates Nepali wildlife: a smooth grey boulder lifts its head to become a rhinoceros; a langur look-out hysterically grunts the alarm from the treetop as a tiger merges into the dappled scrub; and a menacing mantis makes her home in the makeshift bathroom and refuses to become a pet."
Author: Jane Wilson Howarth
26. "I skinned a skunk to make a rug. You know, for the bathroom."
Author: Jarod Kintz
27. "If I owned a house that had a bathroom with no toilet, only a urinal, I'd call that the number one room, and I could easily both describe it and point to it with one finger."
Author: Jarod Kintz
28. "Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom."
Author: Jasper Fforde
29. "Hank: As unbelievable as you may find this, Scott, we can do some things without your guidance.Warren: You're right, Hank! Why, did you know I went to the bathroom this morning-Hank: Not without Scott!Warren: Yes!"
Author: Jeff Parker
30. "No, books. She would have maybe twenty going at a time, lying all over our house--on the kitchen table, by her bed, the bathroom, our car, her bags, a little stack at the edge of each stair. And she'd use anything she could find for a bookmark. My missing sock, an apple core, her reading glasses, another book, a fork."
Author: Kami Garcia
31. "You're cooking?""I think the right word here would be ‘trying'," Tate mumbled… "Would this have anything to do with whoever that is barfing up a lung in the bathroom upstairs?"
Author: Katherine Allred
32. "The simmering lust, the raging interest exploded into love. Who wouldn't fall in love with a man who took the time to feed a homeless kitty? She held that image against her heart like a secret jewel. Only she knew about it, she was sure. Those girls Liam might've slept with, girls who left their panties in his locker or wrote things about him on the bathroom walls…they didn't know what Posey knew—Liam Declan Murphy was not just the hottest thing ever to grace Bellsford High…he was a softy, too."
Author: Kristan Higgins
33. "Now, my brothers are bustin' their asses to cover our shit, and you race to the bathroom like you're fifteen, we're in your bedroom, I just popped your cherry, and your Dad's at the door. Babe, I get you got issues but on top of all our other shit, we gotta spend some time sortin' those out."
Author: Kristen Ashley
34. "I just might kill someone in my next job, and I'll be honest here, I couldn't do the time. Really. No way. I couldn't share a room with four other people, let alone poop in front of them. I hate sharing a room and a bathroom with my husband, and I even have eminent domain over him. Prison would never work out: I'd get picked last for all of the gangs, I'd never get included in the escape plans, it would be just like high school"
Author: Laurie Notaro
35. "Mr. Babcock pats my shoulder. He smiles, and the caterpillar mustache — the envy of state troopers everywhere, I'm sure — straightens out again. I hear that on the weekends, he's a part-time security guard with mirrored sunglasses and a gun. He probably poses in front of his bathroom mirror to see how he looks saying "Freeze!"
Author: Libba Bray
36. "Normally death came at night, taking a person in their sleep, stopping their heart or tickling them awake, leading them to the bathroom with a splitting headache before pouncing and flooding their brain with blood. It waits in alleys and metro stops. After the sun goes down plugs are pulled by white-clad guardians and death is invited into an antiseptic room.But in the country death comes, uninvited, during the day. It takes fishermen in their longboats. It grabs children by the ankles as they swim. In winter it calls them down a slope too steep for their budding skills, and crosses their skies at the tips. It waits along the shore where snow met ice not long ago but now, unseen by sparkling eyes, a little water touches the shore, and the skater makes a circle slightly larger than intended. Death stands in the woods with a bow and arrow at dawn and dusk. And it tugs cars off the road in broad daylight, the tires spinning furiously on ice or snow, or bright autumn leaves."
Author: Louise Penny
37. "I was creeped out, though and dragged a chair into the bathroom and wedged it against the door so no one could come in without me knowing. That was the very reason why I had a see-through vinyl shower curtain. Norman Bates was never going to get the best of me. -Jory"
Author: Mary Calmes
38. "Jessica peeked into the bathroom, then hurried back to report. "They got that boy stripped mother naked and they're scrubbing him with your brand-new loofah."I winced. Thirty-seven ninety-nine at The Body Shop, kaput."
Author: MaryJanice Davidson
39. "She was standing in the airport of Copenhagen, staring at a doorway, trying to figure out if it was (a) a bathroom and (b) what kind of bathroom it was. The door merely said H.Was she an H? Was H "hers"? It could just as easily be "his". Or "Helicopter Room: Not a Bathroom at All"
Author: Maureen Johnson
40. "They meet in the girls' bathroom. The last time they were forced to meet in a place like this, they took separate, isolated stalls. Now they share one. They hold each other in the tight space, making no excuses for it. There's no time left in their lives for games, or for awkwardness, or for pretending they don't care about each others, and so they kiss as if they've done it forever. As if it is as crucial as the need for oxygen."
Author: Neal Shusterman
41. "I offer Emily half of my hit of acid- Love Saves the Day. It's my second or third time tripping, Emily's first, and she's understandably trepid. Awake all night, at one point I find her touching her reflection in a cruelly lit dorm bathroom, asking if she'll ever be the same. I kiss her then for the first time and whisper, No."
Author: Nick Flynn
42. "As I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, it occurred to me that if all else failed, a man could at least kiss himself, and I stared in to the mirror, conjuring up the memory of the couple in the film. I couldn't get the image of their lips out of my mind. But by now I'd realised I'd not even be kissing myself; I'd be kissing the mirror."
Author: Orhan Pamuk
43. "He was discovered with his feet stuck to the ceiling in the bathroom with his head stuffed in the toilet..."
Author: Orson Scott Card
44. "After living in Smokey Hollow these three months my bearded face was darkened to a tan, and for more than a moment, I couldn't tell what color I was. Black is what I saw and what I expected to see. I grabbed a towel and rubbed to get a clear look. No, I was white. At least my skin was. I had been through so much with my family here, and all I had seen was black faces, that I forgot for a split second that I wasn't black too. For weeks after the flood in the bathroom, I remembered the morning I forgot my skin color."
Author: Peter Jenkins
45. "He came in and took a piss in my hotel bathroom without even closing the door as I'm standing right there. I'm like, "Alright. You're comfortable." It was like we knew each other for four or five years, even though we had never met."
Author: Peter Seibel
46. "It was a hideous ancient thing that stood on tiger feet in the middle of the floor. Like a showpiece. And he did enjoy showing it. He would bring his friends upstairs to the master bathroom so that they could admire the monstrosity while he told them the whole long boring story of how he'd gotten it at an estate sale in Hollywood. Some bimbo actress from the silent-screen days had supposedly slit her wrists while she was in the thing. ‘Cashed in her chips,' Harold liked to say. ‘In this very tub."
Author: Richard Laymon
47. "I need to use the Dam Bathroom, I need to use the Dam Snack bar, I want a Dam Tee-Shirt."
Author: Rick Riordan
48. "Emma still had a lot to learn about me. The only place I went stag was the bathroom."
Author: Sara Shepard
49. "I am about to impart to you the sacred words my father gave to me. It's the five responses that will get you out of any female problem…I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do it. Baby, there's no one else in my world but you. Oops. And Jesus is Lord. Not to mention you can combine them. Such as – I don't know what you're talking about, I didn't do it, or Jesus is Lord, baby, you know there's no one else in my world but you. (Jesse)(Simone opens the bathroom door.)Oops, Jesus is Lord. (Xypher)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
50. "Wow, Carter. You've got a HUGE wiener."Suddenly, Gavin being in the bathroom with me didn't seem so bad. If only he could have been in thebathroom with me in eighth grade and passed that little tidbit around for Penny Frankles to hear, I mightnot have gone to the eight grade graduation dance solo.I finished pissing, zipped up my pants and flushed the toilet, all while trying not to pat myself on theback. Yeah, I had a huge wiener. You bet your sweet ass I did. I almost needed a wheelbarrow to carry itaround. And because a toddler said it, it must have been true.We got back to the table and I couldn't keep the shit-eating grin off of my face."
Author: Tara Sivec

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Para bailar, hay que merecerlo. Bailar sobre un escenario y delante de público constituye la mayor de las felicidades. A decir verdad, incluso sin público, incluso sin escenario, bailar es el colmo de la embriaguez. Una alegría tan profunda justifica los sacrificios más crueles. La educación que os damos aquí tiende a presentar la danza como lo que es: no un medio sino una recompensa."
Author: Amélie Nothomb

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