Top Bullshit Quotes

Browse top 350 famous quotes and sayings about Bullshit by most favorite authors.

Favorite Bullshit Quotes

1. "You may be safe, but I am free.' Take advantage of the freedom that comes with your youth. Inhale life, exhale fire, and embrace the late, sleepless nights, because that's when the magic happens- when everyone else is asleep and you're awake thinking about the world as it is, and the world as it would be. Make the most of those moments," I said forcefully. "And in the coming years people will tell you that you're too young to change the world. I'm here to tell you, that's fucking bullshit."
Author: Adam Braun
2. "Karma will hit you. So don't say bullshit."
Author: Ainun Annisa
3. "This next song goes out to anybody who's ever been told that the way that they think or the way that they feel is the wrong way to think or the wrong way to feel. Goes out to anybody who's ever been pushed down, held back, walked on… Anybody who doesn't feel comfortable in their own skin, anybody…everybody - It goes out to everybody. It goes out to all of you! And the reason it goes out to all of you is because every single one of you is fucking beautiful. I've noticed that there's a lot of people in the world trying to tell other people that they're not beautiful. And I don't stand for that, I think that's bullshit. Each and every single one of you are gorgeous, believe in yourselves. This song goes out to all of you. It's called ‘Therapy'."
Author: Alex Gaskarth
4. "PLEASE DON'T DO IT, NOAH! PLEASE!""WHY NOT?!""BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE!" I screamed at him through my sobs.…"Then why don't you fucking take me and stop this bullshit you keep putting us through? You're going to tell me you're okay with my hands running up and down her body? Touching her ass and her tits. You're okay with my tongue licking every inch of her? You're okay knowing that while you're over in your bed, I'll be over here sliding into her, when we both know it should be you?"
Author: Alison G. Bailey
5. "New Rule: Conspiracy theorists who are claiming that we didn't really kill Bin Laden must be reminded that they didn't think he did the crime in the first place. Come on, nutjobs, keep your bullshit straight: The towers were brought down in a controlled demolition by George W. Bush to distract attention from Hawaii, where CIA operatives were planting phony birth records so that a Kenyan named Barack Obama could someday rise to power and pretend to take out the guy we pretended took out the Towers. And I know that's true because I just got it in an e-mail from Trump."
Author: Bill Maher
6. "I went by the house. Tried to work things out with my mom." "You know I've got three younger brothers, right?"Hunter frowned. "What?""It means I've got a pretty finely tuned bullshit detector."
Author: Brigid Kemmerer
7. "I have a rule of thumb that allows me to judge, when times is pressing and one needs to make a snap judgment, whether or not some sexist bullshit is afoot. Obviously, it's not 100% infallible but by and large it definitely points you in the right direction and it's asking this question; are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men's time? Are the men told not to do this, as it's letting the side down? Are the men having to write bloody books about this exasperating retarded, time-wasting, bullshit? Is this making Jeremy Clarkson feel insecure?Almost always the answer is no. The boys are not being told they have to be a certain way, they are just getting on with stuff."
Author: Caitlin Moran
8. "Do you sometimes wish you could fast-forward a week? You know something bad's coming up, and you know you'll get through it, but the prospect just makes you feel sick. I worried for about thirty minutes, and though I knew there was no point in doing so, I could feel my anxiety twisting me up in a knot. 'Bullshit,' I told myself stoutly. 'This is utter bullshit."
Author: Charlaine Harris
9. "It's stupid, I know. I have this thing, this idea. This bullshit 'Mr. Darcy' idea, about the one that changes his mind. That comes back for me. And I'll look up some night, and he'll be there in front of me. And he'll stare at me and say, "It was you. It was always you."
Author: Chloe Neill
10. "Give me needy emotional whining bullshit.Flash.Give me self-absorbed egocentric twaddle.Christ."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
11. "Most likely, they were writing the same type of macho bullshit that I wrote, trying to sound tough with their words in case words were all that made it home."
Author: Clint Van Winkle
12. "Well, then I'm going to have to kick your ass. No one gets to punish you. Enough of this shit, Kyle. You're more than this. You know better than this. Yes, Mom left. But Dad stayed. I stayed. You're more than enough for us. This is our family. You don't get to throw away your life. I'm sorry, but you don't. This is self-serving bullshit."
Author: Debra Anastasia
13. "I searched his face and smiled as a soft grin formed along hislips as he said, "I truly don't deserve you, but I'm grateful every single daythat you're mine. I know it's frustrating at times, and I appreciate that eventhrough all the bullshit you still stick around. I didn't realize how much mybottled-up problems bothered you. I promise to work harder at it. Just knowthat I am trying."
Author: E.L. Montes
14. "You always help me put things in perspective Ray," I told him after our food arrived."No, Camille," he laughed. "I point out the bullshit you avoid, make you step in it then I leave it up to you to figure out how to get it off your shoes.""I guess that's why I'm never sure if I should thank you," I said suddenly feeling lighter than I had in days. "There's a lot of old shit on my shoes today."
Author: Elizabeth Munro
15. "Since you are chosen by the Muse, your mind is always pregnant with an unstable roller-coaster of the creative itches. The utopian conjectures and hypotheses of perfect romance, fondles the fairyland.. It is like having the higher educational qualification than the eligibility criteria, either you choose to be jobless or you have to compromise and adjust with low salary, low designation and sometimes, you have to start from the cipher who eventually turns out to be a numbskull dick! Reason, why the crème de la crème sapiosexuals are slaugherous, cynical, sweetly sardonic, spouseless, and of course allergic to baloney and bullshits.."
Author: Himmilicious
16. "No one got forever. And it was a fucking crime to waste what you were given. Enough, Qhuinn thought. Enough with the excuses, and the avoidance, and the trying to be someone, anyone else. Even if he got shanked, even if his precious little ego and his dumb-ass little heart got shattered into a million pieces, it was time to stop the bullshit. It was time to be a male."
Author: J.R. Ward
17. "Wrath: look at how their folklore portrays our species. There's Dracula for Christ's sake, an evil bloodsucker who preys on the defenseless. There's piss-poor B movies and porn. And don't get me started on the whole Halloween thing. Plastic fangs. Black capes. The only thing the idiots got right are that we drink blood and that we can't go out in daylight. The rest is bullshit, fabricated to alienate us and stimulate fear in the masses. Or just as offensive, the fiction used to create some kind of mystique for bored humans who think the dark side is a fun place to visit."
Author: J.R. Ward
18. "Justine pulled her Jag over to the side of the road and stared out at the landscape. I twirled the dial on her police band radio until the signal was clear. She opened her thermos, passed it over to me. I took a sip. The coffee was black, unsugared. That's the way Justine liked just about everything: straight up, no bullshit."
Author: James Patterson
19. "You and Merrin's mother-have you really been praying for me to die?" "More or less," Mould said. "To be honest, most of the time when she's calling to God, she's riding my dick." "Do you know why He hasn't struck me down?" Ig asked. "Do you know why God hasn't answered your prayers?" "Why?" "Because there is no God. Your prayers are whispers to an empty room." ..."Bullshit." "It's all a lie. There's never been anyone there."
Author: Joe Hill
20. "Getting old means getting lucky sometimes means sometimes you learn & along with other sweeter acquisitions you learn that ninetenths of what goes down is bullshit that there's just no way to be with people & not smear yr tongue with bullshit lies that it doesn't help to fuck with people & anyway once you know how it's no fun any more"
Author: John Thomas Idlet
21. "Can I just say that dying sucks? All that bullshit about seeing the light and having this inner peace, blah, blah, blah. It's crap."
Author: Julie Kenner
22. "Dying is overrated. Human sentimentality has twisted it into the ultimate act of love. Biggest load of bullshit in the world. Dying for someone isn't the hard thing. The man that dies escapes. Plain and simple. Game over. End of pain...Try living for someone. Through it all-good, bad, thick, thin, joy, suffering. That's the hard thing."
Author: Karen Marie Moning
23. "Bullshit. We belong together." Echo sniffed and the sound tore at me. I softened my voice."Look at me, baby. I know you love me. Three nights ago you were willing to offer everything to me. There is no way you can walk away from us."
Author: Katie McGarry
24. "The Fates teleported me to the ascended angels staff lounge. It wasn't called that, naturally. We weren't staff. This wasn't a job. It was a calling. An honor. A noble mission. Bullshit."
Author: Kelley Armstrong
25. "The childhood years are the best years of your life… Whoever coined that was an unmitigated fuckwit, a bullshit artist supreme. Life gets better the older you grow, until you grow too old of course."
Author: Keri Hulme
26. "And all that 'don't want to lose you' is utter bullshit. But just in case it's true, guess what? You did lose me. Just now."
Author: Kristan Higgins
27. "Not liking that," I clipped and his brows went up again."Are you shittin' me?""No!" I cried. "I deserve to be wooed!""Right, then I'll amend my statement. I'll woo you by gettin' you off as many times as I can with my mouth, fingers and cock, cookin' for you when I have time, not firin' your ass when you fuck shit up, which is often, and puttin' up with your bullshit. Bullshit like now when you're playin' even more games because you know I like it when you also know what you really wanna do is kiss me.""Actually, handsome, I don't want to kiss you. I want to kick you."His smile came back. "Bullshit games."
Author: Kristen Ashley
28. "Don't go woman on me and tell me you don't need a man to complete you. It's bullshit. Woman looks like you, goddamn waste. But a woman who has the love you got to give, that's not a waste. That's a crying shame."
Author: Kristen Ashley
29. "That's what death did, it treated you like a child, like everything you had ever thought and done and cared about was just a child's game, to be crumpled up and thrown away when it was over. It didn't matter. Death didn't respect you. Death thought you were bullshit, and it wanted to make sure you knew it."
Author: Lev Grossman
30. "Forget all of our past bullshit, okay? I've got less than a handful of days to convince you that I'm not a complete douche bag, and I want a fair shot. Give it to me."
Author: Liz Reinhardt
31. "[to Navy SEALs] Quite frankly, I didn't even want to use you guys, with your dip and velcro and all your gear bullshit. I wanted to drop a bomb. But people didn't believe in this lead enough to drop a bomb. So they're using you guys as canaries. And, in theory, if bin Laden isn't there, you can sneak away and no one will be the wiser. But bin Laden is there. And you're going to kill him for me."
Author: Mark Owen
32. "You do realize fairytales are bullshit," he said."
Author: Monica Alexander
33. "And as an afterthought, this too must be told: Some people have taken pure bullshit and turned it into gold."
Author: Neil Young
34. "…I'm someone who's mostly dead inside but still has a little hope for something extraordinary, which, as I said, is the worst breed of human, because it means I know everything is bullshit, but that I secretly hope for the day when it might not be."
Author: Nick Miller
35. "And I know this sounds like another bullshit breakup line, but I really would like to be your friend."
Author: Richelle Mead
36. "Wait," he said. "That's not a word."I looked down to where, in a moment of desperation, I'd played zixic on a triple-word-score space."Uh, sure it is.""What's it mean?""It's sort of like…quixotic, but with more…""Bullshit?"I laughed out loud. I'd never heard him swear before."More zeal. Hence the z.""Uh-huh. Use it in a sentence.""Um…'You are a zixic writer.'""I don't believe this.""That you're zixic?""That you're trying to cheat at Scrabble." He leaned back against my couch, shaking his head. "I mean, I was ready to accept the whole evil thing, but this is kind of extreme."
Author: Richelle Mead
37. "I'm wondering how long I have to deal with this bullshit before I can brief my troops. Oh, and I gotta feed my goldfish. Let's get this straight, Blondie—""Blondie?""That's an insult, not a pet name."
Author: Rie Warren
38. "Please, boy. Let's not start out with either of us insulting the other's intelligence. There are only three people in life you can never fool—pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof."
Author: Scott Lynch
39. "We're a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don't believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more."
Author: Scott Lynch
40. "Screw reality. It don't feed my dog. It don't make my Porsche payments. It don't get me laid. Bullshit does that…and I like it that way. (Leo)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
41. "All of this was well meaning bullshit. But bullshit is still bullshit and will never be mistaken for McDonald's secret sauce."
Author: Stephen King
42. "Most books about writing are filled with bullshit. Fiction writers, present company included, don't understand very much about what they do—not why it works when it's good, not why it doesn't when it's bad."
Author: Stephen King
43. "This is a short book because most books about writing are filled with bullshit. Fiction writers, present company included, don't understand very much about what they do -- not why it works when it's good, not why it doesn't when it's bad. I figured the shorter the book, the less bullshit."Stephen King, On Writing"
Author: Stephen King
44. "I am, when you stop to think of it, a member of a fairly select group: the final handful of American novelists who learned to read and write before they learned to eat a daily helping of video bullshit."
Author: Stephen King
45. "Say it, do it, preach it, shout it, but never, absolutely never, believe your own bullshit."
Author: Steve Berry
46. "This week my son thinks he's the Supremes.All of them. So we can scratch "straight"off the list. At least I hope we can. As a gay kid he'll be a natural leader. Put him in a macho bullshit environment and he's going to have a hard time. I don't want that to happen. (Let's also not forget Wei's immortal words to him nine minutes after he was born, when she first stared into those big brown eyes: "Oh, honey. Promose me you'll grow up to like boys. Because I don't want any other woman in your life except me.")"
Author: Steve Kluger
47. "Are you ready to release Millie Harrison?" "We don't negotiate with terrorists." "I'm not a terrorist." I said it tiredly. "Besides, that's bullshit. The U.S. has always negotiated  with terrorists, no matter what it's said. Why do you think we sold arms to Iran?" "Release Brian Cox. We'll think about it." "Millie Harrison is being illegally held. Brian Cox kidnapped her. Who is the terrorist? Who is  attacking the innocent? Release her and I'll give you back Cox." I hung up."
Author: Steven Gould
48. "Bullshit takes no genius,even fool senses its' foul."
Author: Toba Beta
49. "If you say bullshit on things come in handy,better revise it before others say otherwise."
Author: Toba Beta
50. "Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds."
Author: Woody Allen

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Atheism is a way of humility. It's to think oneself to be an animal, as we are actually and to allow oneself to become human."
Author: André Comte Sponville

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