Top Burglar Quotes

Browse top 50 famous quotes and sayings about Burglar by most favorite authors.

Favorite Burglar Quotes

1. "Whenever human activity is directed exclusively to the service of the instinct for self-preservation it is called theft or usury, robbery or burglary etc"
Author: Adolf Hitler
2. "My food hero has to be Auguste Escoffier. And the villain? The man who's been most responsible for the death of food in my time is Ronald McDonald. He's always scared me, I think he's evil - he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Him and the Hamburglar."
Author: Arthur Potts Dawson
3. "We arrived at the police station and they parked and did the whole ‘hassle and grimace' routine. I inwardly rolled my eyes. I mean really. ‘Hey Bob, looks like you had your hands full today.' ‘Yeah Bill, she was a murderer; killed a boy.' Oh geez, gimme a break. I'm fourteen years old and it was an accident. Yes, I'm totally the highlight of the day. I mean, lunatic Joe over there who murdered twelve people and committed burglary so isn't important."
Author: Bella Shadow
4. "Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
Author: Bill Maher
5. "A rumble gurgled through the space between them."Was that you?"She looked down. "Was that me?""That noise. It sounded like a growl."Well according to you, I am a ferocious car burglar."
Author: Candis Terry
6. "June 17, 1972. Nine o'clock Saturday morning. Early for the telephone. Woodward fumbled for the receiver and snapped awake. The city editor of the Washington Post was on the line. Five men had been arrested earlier that morning in a burglary attempt at Democratic headquarters, carrying photographic equipment and electronic gear. Could he come in?"
Author: Carl Bernstein
7. "The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!""That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!"
Author: Charles M. Schulz
8. "I have an unconscious burglar living in my mind: If I read something, it's mine."
Author: David Eddings
9. "Drug addicts driven to crime to finance their drug addiction are not often inclined toward violent crime. Violence requires all different kinds of energy, and most drug addicts like to expend their energy not on their professional crime but on what their professional crime lets them afford. Drug addicts are often burglars, therefore."
Author: David Foster Wallace
10. "Now I felt exposed, on display like a puppy in a pet store window, strip steak in a butcher case, burglar caught in a flashlight beam, in a word, naked."
Author: Dennis Vickers
11. "You're like rottweilers - they protect you from burglars, but nothing protects you from them."
Author: Dia Reeves
12. "My letters seeking a job, though truthful, diminished the full truth. Face would blanch if the facts had been complete: "Dear Sir," I thought. "Do you have a position for a journeyman burglar, con man, forger and car thief; also with experience as armed robber, pimp, card cheat and several other things. I smoked marijuana at twelve (in the 40's) and shot heroin at sixteen. I have no experience with LSD and methedrine. They came to popularity since my imprisonment. I've buggered pretty young boys and feminine homosexuals (but only when locked up away from women). In the idiom of jails, prisons and gutters (some plush gutters) I'm a motherfucker! Not literally, for I don't remember my mother. In my world the term, used as I used it, is a boast of being hell on wheels, outrageously unpredictable, a virtuoso of crime. Of course by being a motherfucker in that world I'm a piece of garbage in yours. Do you have a job?"
Author: Edward Bunker
13. "He smiled affably at the burglar, a burly fellow whom he continued to hold with one hand, as easily as if he had been a child. The entire household had been aroused, and a good number of them had joined in, shouting questions and brandishing various deadly instruments. The burglar glared wildly at Emerson, bare to the waist and bulging with muscle - at Gargery and his cudgel - at Selim, fingering a knife even longer than Nefret's - at assorted footmen armed with pokers, spits, and cleavers - and at the giant form of Daoud advancing purposefully toward him. 'It's a bleedin' army!' he gurgled. 'The lyin' barstard said you was some kind of professor!"
Author: Elizabeth Peters
14. "I NEVER lost as much but twice, And that was in the sod; Twice have I stood a beggar Before the door of God! Angels, twice descending,Reimbursed my store. Burglar, banker, father, I am poor once more!"
Author: Emily Dickinson
15. "Outside has everything. Whenever I think of a thing now like skis or fireworks or islands or elevators or yo-yos, I have to remember they're real, they're actually happening in Outside all together. It makes my head tired. And people too, firefighters teachers burglars babies saints soccer players and all sorts, they're all really in Outside. I'm not there, though, me and Ma, we're the only ones not there. Are we still real?"
Author: Emma Donoghue
16. "Who is he anyhow, an actor?""No.""A dentist?""...No, he's a gambler." Gatsby hesitated, then added cooly: "He's the man who fixed the World Series back in 1919.""Fixed the World Series?" I repeated.The idea staggered me. I remembered, of course, that the World Series had been fixed in 1919, but if I had thought of it at all I would have thought of it as something that merely happened, the end of an inevitable chain. It never occurred to me that one man could start to play with the faith of fifty million people--with the singlemindedness of a burglar blowing a safe."How did he happen to do that?" I asked after a minute."He just saw the opportunity.""Why isn't he in jail?""They can't get him, old sport. He's a smart man."
Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald
17. "If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman."
Author: G. Gordon Liddy
18. "We say that the dangerous criminal is the educated criminal. We say that the most dangerous criminal now is the entirely lawless modern philosopher. Compared to him, burglars and bigamists are essentially moral men; my heart goes out to them. They accept the essential ideal of man; they merely seek it wrongly. Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. But philosophers dislike property as property; they wish to destroy the very idea of personal possession."
Author: G.K. Chesterton
19. "We say that the most dangerouscriminal now is the entirely lawless modern philosopher. Comparedto him, burglars and bigamists are essentially moral men; my heartgoes out to them. They accept the essential ideal of man; theymerely seek it wrongly. Thieves respect property. They merely wishthe property to become their property that they may more perfectlyrespect it. But philosophers dislike property as property; theywish to destroy the very idea of personal possession. Bigamistsrespect marriage, or they would not go through the highlyceremonial and even ritualistic formality of bigamy. Butphilosophers despise marriage as marriage. Murderers respect humanlife; they merely wish to attain a greater fulness of human life inthemselves by the sacrifice of what seems to them to be lesserlives. But philosophers hate life itself, their own as much asother people's."
Author: G.K. Chesterton
20. "He might have stolen her breath the first time they kissed, but there and then— stealthy like a cat burglar— he was trying to steal her heart."
Author: Gail McHugh
21. "5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.6. Television puts a stop to crime because all the burglars and robbers, instead of going to burgle and rob, sit at home watching The Lone Ranger, Emergency Ward Ten and Dotto."
Author: George Mikes
22. "A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar."
Author: H.L. Mencken
23. "There's a kind of gap between what I think is real and what's really real , I get this feeling like some kind of little something other is there somewhere inside me…..like a burglar is in the house hiding in a closet …and it comes out every once in a while and messes up whatever order or logic I've established the way a magnet can make a machine go crazy"
Author: Haruki Murakami
24. "If we have to be cat burglars, I'm going to see what' to steal in the fridge."We're trying to find evidence she's the poisoner. Just a thought before you start putting random things in your mouth." Ruth shrugged and walked past Val."
Author: Holly Black
25. "Even a burglar hesitates to go back for more."
Author: Isoroku Yamamoto
26. "You may not like my burglar, but please don't damage him."
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien
27. "I may be a burglar...but I'm an honest one, I hope, more or less."
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien
28. "I have chosen Mr Baggins and that ought to be enough for all of you. If I say he is a Burglar, a Burglar he is, or will be when the time comes. There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself."
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien
29. "I am like a burglar that can't get away, but must go on miserably burgling the same house day after day.—Bilbo Baggins"
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien
30. "A brick is a good object to hide a house key under. No burglar will be able to get to your key, especially if you hide it under the first brick the mason's lay when constructing your house."
Author: Jarod Kintz
31. "There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom."
Author: Jeff Kinney
32. "...Both Elizabeth [Smart] and Ruby [Jessop] were fourteen when they were kidnapped, raped and "kept captive by polygamous fanatics." The main difference in the girls' respective ordeals...is that "Elizabeth was brainwashed for nine months," while Ruby had been brainwashed by polygamist fanatics "since birth." Despite the similarity of their plights, Elizabeth's abusers were jailed and charged with sexual assault, aggravated burglary, and aggravated kidnapping, while Ruby... "was returned to her abusers, no real investigation was done, no charges brought against anyone" involved."
Author: Jon Krakauer
33. "I had to stop sneaking around girls' houses like some kind of dumb-ass cat burglar. Clearly it got me nowhere good."
Author: Kieran Scott
34. "Now that I thought of it, perhaps whacking the burglar wasn't quite…necessary.It occurred to me that he said "Hi." I thought he did, anyway. He said hi. Do burglars usuallygreet their victims? Hi. I'd like to rob your house. Does that work for you?"
Author: Kristan Higgins
35. "The soldier is convinced that a certain indefinitely extendable time period is accorded him before he is killed, the burglar before he is caught, men in general, before they must die. That is the amulet which preserves individuals — and sometimes populations — not from danger, but from the fear of danger, in reality from the belief in danger, which in some cases allows them to brave it without being brave. Such a confidence, just as unfounded, supports the lover who counts on a reconciliation, a letter."
Author: Marcel Proust
36. "In that one stolen second, I considered the Glebe girl. She entered my mind like a burglar, them vanished again, taking nothing. It was like the humiliation of the past had been dragged instantly from my back and left somewhere on the ground."
Author: Markus Zusak
37. "Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size."
Author: Maureen Johnson
38. "You can go back to blacksmithing in Hintindar and live a quiet happy life. Do me a favor and marry some pretty farm girl and train your son to beat the crap out of imperial knights.""Sure," Hadrian told him. "And with any luck he'll make friends with a cynical burglar who'll do nothing but torment him."
Author: Michael J. Sullivan
39. "Miriam will never know what kind of dog attacked her, will imagine a Doberman or a German shepherd with snarling, angry teeth despite the fact she bears neither bite marks nor broken skin. It will never cross her mind that the dog was a beagle and that she was knocked over from a surprise more than force. The children of the house she fled will use the incident to convince their parents to keep the dog, which had been on the verge of being given away for its propensity to shit at the slightest hint of thunder it having been sequestered in the garage that night because of a stormy forecast. The family will never know what manner of burglar their fog deflected, will imagine a scruffy, heavy-set man with scars and a limp groping the family jewelery. It will never cross their minds that their intruder was am upper middle-class wife and mother of two who would have had eyes only for their Chinese teakettle."
Author: Myla Goldberg
40. "But I couldn't think it more hateful of them to have taken my fur tippet. Burglars never seem to realize one might feel the cold. How would they like it if I took away their wife's shawl?"
Author: Nancy Mitford
41. "Our conventional response to all media, namely that it is how they are used that counts, is the numb stance of the technological idiot," he wrote. The content of the medium is just "the juicy piece of meat carried by the burglar to distract the watchdog of the mind." P 4"
Author: Nicholas Carr
42. "I grew up on a suburban street with lace curtains and dull neighbours, so I made up stories to tell my friend, in which they became serial killers and burglars. She told her mother, who then told mine."
Author: Nina Bawden
43. "Mr. Roddis: [Outraged at the presence of two apparent burglars (actually his in-laws) having tea in his suburban home] - And they've opened a pot of my raspberry jam."Uncle Fred: [Architect of the above missunderstanding] Ah, then you will be able to catch them red-handed. I should fetch a policman."
Author: P.G. Wodehouse
44. "Gya!! Stay away from me, weirdo! I'll press the burglar alarm!"
Author: Peach Pit
45. "Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late."
Author: Rita Coolidge
46. "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Author: Robin Williams
47. "We writers, as we work our way deeper into our craft, learn to drop more and more personal clues. Like burglars who secretly wish to be caught, we leave our fingerprints on broken locks, our voiceprints in bugged rooms, our footprints in the wet concrete."
Author: Ross Macdonald
48. "His anger was still there, and he used it to break into her. He liked the way her eyes widened in alarm, as if he was forcing a lock, as if he was breaking and entering. It was the first time he'd ever slept with a woman and it felt like burglary."
Author: Rupert Thomson
49. "Uncle alone in the house with the children said he'd dress up to amuse them. After a long wait, as he did not appear, they went down and saw a masked man putting the table silver into a bag. 'Oh, Uncle,' they cried in delight. 'Yes, isn't my make-up good?' said Uncle, taking his mask off. Thus goes the Hegelian syllogism of humour. Thesis: Uncle made himself up as a burglar (a laugh for the children); antithesis: it WAS a burglar (a laugh for the reader); synthesis: it still was Uncle (fooling the reader)."
Author: Vladimir Nabokov
50. "What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage."
Author: Woody Allen

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