Crotch Quotes

1. "Tenderness can be born only of respect for individualities. Tenderness builds its nest in little things, in the absurdities of a face, in personal crotchets. When we lose a friend, it is probably his faults that we mourn."
Author: Antoine De Saint Exupéry

2. "I know what's wrong with me - I could never stand still for death! Which you've got to do by a certain age, or be ridiculous - you've got to stand there nobly and serene, and let death run his tape on your arms and around your belly and up your crotch until he's got you fitted for that black suit. And I can't, I won't!... So I'm left with wrestling with this anachronistic energy which God has charged me with and I will use it till the dirt is shoveled in my mouth! Life! Life! Fuck death and dying!"
Author: Arthur Miller

3. "In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my forehead."
Author: B. Justin Shier

4. "I spilled my cup of coffee straight onto my crotch. Superior heat retention has its drawbacks. I grimaced as the scalding liquid reached ground zero, but as I did my best to angle my jeans away from the Resnick family's last hope, my seatmate decided to dispose of her hoodie.I juggled two pressing needs:1) Protect the nethers.2) Leer"
Author: B. Justin Shier

5. "Read this to yourself. Read it silently.Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. Now, read this next line in your best crotchety- old man voice:"Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?"Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours! How do you do that?How?! It must've been magic."
Author: Bo Burnham

6. "Tantrums are a noble and time-tested strategy,she said airily. Particularly if you have a good set of lungs and are facing down a crotchety old priest. I know Stewart; he always bends if you make enough noise."
Author: Brandon Sanderson

7. "If by weirdo he meant that Nick didn't play grab-ass with the wannabes on the street corner, didn't yank at his crotch and call girls bitches, didn't wear oversized jerseys and pretend to be a gangsta all day, then yeah, Nick had to agree."
Author: Brom

8. "I don't give a damn if you were the featured date du jour of the sultan of Brunei. Get it through your head: You're here under duress,my duress, and the second I can get you across the river, the better I'll like it.""Even if Winkie wants me?""Who the hell is Winkie?"In answer, her gaze traveled to his crotch."Woman," Jake roared, beyond insane, "do you have a death wish? Get in that bed, pull the covers over your head, and go to sleep before I do something we'll both regret."
Author: Cherry Adair

9. "Crotch-punchingly real!"
Author: David Wong

10. "Beckett turned to Mouse again. "This place's a festering whore's crotch. Do I own it?"
Author: Debra Anastasia

11. "We shared the same faith, which was big because she was worried about getting matched with an Internet-spawned psychopathic killing machine. I told her that, historically speaking, there have been several psychos who believed in Jesus, but she told me if I gave her any trouble she'd kick me in the crotch and run - she told me it was what Jesus would do."
Author: Dirk Hayhurst

12. "I have lunch, flirt with some local grandmothers, undercut my flirting by crotching myself on the corner of a table as I leave. -- "The Great Divider"
Author: George Saunders

13. "And may your crotches be infested with the crabs of a thousand whores."
Author: Georgia Cates

14. "I put my hand on the crotch of my pants. "There's only one pole that counts and I've got it right here."
Author: Georgia Cates

15. "What do you want, Lisanne?""You,""Are you sure? You don't get to have your first time again, baby doll. This isn't how I'd imagined it.""You've imagined it… with me?""Are you fucking kidding me? You are hot. I've wanted you since I met you, but I figured you just wanted to be friends. That's cool. I like having a friend who's a girl.""Can I just… can I touch you?"He nodded slowly, his eyes following her hand as it moved shakily to his waistband.Softly, she laid her hand over his crotch and felt his heat and hardness. He inhaled deeply."You are so fucking sexy."
Author: Jane Harvey Berrick

16. "Sally put his gun back in his pants. "Guess I flunked the estrogen test."We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma said what Lula and I were thinking."I thought that bulge was your dingdong,"Grandma said."Jesus," Sally said, "who do you think I am, Thunder the Wonder Horse? My gun wouldn't fit in my purse.""You need to get a smaller gun," Lula said. "Ruins your lines with that big old Glock in your drawers."
Author: Janet Evanovich

17. "The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting."
Author: Janet Evanovich

18. "I want to buy you a pair of YAP, or Yellow Admiration Pants (they have no crotch), and have you talk dirty to me."
Author: Jarod Kintz

19. "A tie is like an arrow pointing to my crotch. A tie is also like an even score."
Author: Jarod Kintz

20. "I love coffee like I love making love. It's like liquid sex, except you don't want to spill it all over your crotch."
Author: Jarod Kintz

21. "Winston Gallagher!" I said, recognizing the first ghost I'de met. Then my eyes narrowed & I covered my hand in front of my crotch as I saw Winstons gaze fasten there next. "Don't even think about poltergeisting my panties again". "This is the sod? Come here you scurvy little--" "Bones don't!" I interrupted. He stopped, giving a last glare to him while mouthing YOU. ME. EXORCIST. before returning to my side."
Author: Jeaniene Frost

22. "Can you put your hands on my crotch?""Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice."
Author: Jennifer Echols

23. "They hired us over the Internet, mailed us half the cash and promised the other half after we nailed the vampire."I lowered Grief until it pointed straight at Rudy's crotch. "You two wouldn't recognize the Internet if a server fell on your heads. So give it to me straight this time, Rudy, before I lose my temper and make sure Junior grows up an only child."
Author: Jennifer Rardin

24. "Only then did I see. Something was amiss with Patrick's snap-on one piece, or "onesie" as we manly dads like to call it. His chubby thighs, I now realized, were squeezed into the armholes, which were so tight they must have been cutting off his circulation. The collared neck hung between his legs like an udder. Up top, Patrick's head stuck out through the unsnapped crotch, and his arms were lost somewhere in the billowing pant legs. It was quite a look."
Author: John Grogan

25. "Women, fire in their crotch, won't burn out, begin by fighting off pricks, end by going wild hunting for one that still works."
Author: John Updike

26. "It's a slow sultry song. She opens her mouth and what comes out can only be described as dripping with sex. The climax of the song comes and the college boys are cat calling her but she doesn't seem to notice at all. She's completely in the song, eyes half mast, a slight smile on her lips, and hips methodically rolling to the beat. She's pure sex and every male in the bar is thinking the same thing I am. What would she be like in my bed. She absent mindedly trails her hand from her collarbone down between her breasts to her belly. It's the hottest thing I've ever seen. My jeans instantly get too tight in the crotch and I adjust myself discreetly while everyone's eyes are still on her."
Author: K. Larsen

27. "And you can just stop that right now, too." "Stop what?" "That," Io pointed at his crotch, "You're getting all bulgy, and I resent your penis's implication that I'm doing something to arouse you. Unless you're some sort of weirdo who gets off by women saying the word 'penis' which is frankly kinda sad."
Author: Katie MacAlister

28. "May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch"
Author: Keisha Keenleyside

29. "Damn humans." I sat on my bike and scratch my crotch. I couldn't help it. "If they would only leave me the fuck alone."
Author: Khalia Hades

30. "I can't help it that this is the Bermuda Triangle-she pointed at her crotch-when guys venture there, they tend to stay. I tapped my chin. Oh, I thought you called it that because it's sucked in lots of seamen."
Author: Kresley Cole

31. "Men are like dogs," Stacy was fond of saying. And she usually went on to add that, like dogs, they all took up too much space on the bed, and they always went for the crotch."
Author: Lisa Kleypas

32. "I'm both surprised and irritated that I feel my tuxedo pants shrink a size in the crotch. I'll have to be extra careful with this girl. I can't remember the last time someone so thoroughly tested my restraint."
Author: M. Leighton

33. "Did everyone make the most ghastly blunders at regularly intervals through their life and live to regret them ever afterward? Was everyone's life filled with confusing and contradictory mix of guilt and innocence, hatred and love, concern and unconcern, and any number of other pairings of polar opposites? Or were most people one thing or the other - good or bad, cheerful or crotchety, generous or miserly, and so on."
Author: Mary Balogh

34. "Why I Wake Early Hello, sun in my face.Hello, you who made the morningand spread it over the fieldsand into the faces of the tulipsand the nodding morning glories,and into the windows of, even, themiserable and the crotchety – best preacher that ever was,dear star, that just happensto be where you are in the universeto keep us from ever-darkness,to ease us with warm touching,to hold us in the great hands of light –good morning, good morning, good morning.Watch, now, how I start the dayin happiness, in kindness."
Author: Mary Oliver

35. "A 5'5", 182-pound, 43-year-old man wearing khaki shorts and a UCLA sweatshirt runs to Nicolas Cage in a manner he will spend the rest of the night describing to his slightly bored but equally boring date as "ambushing." No one else is on the street and Nicolas Cage is unable to avoid the man, who wants a picture with his "brand new Droid." As the man, who actually seems to be vibrating and hovering in an almost hummingbird-like way, adjusts his stance for the third attempt at a picture his crotch lightly brushes Nicolas Cage's upper thigh, causing his face to shift from "bemused resignation" to, strangely, "serene bliss," for what will become the man's inaugural Facebook profile picture."
Author: Megan Boyle

36. "Peter's mother was grand, in her way. She managed to complain almost ceaselessly without ever seeming trivial or kvetchy. She was regal rather than crotchety, she had been sent to live in this world from a better one, and she saved herself from mere mean-spiritedness by offering resignation in place of bile - by implying, every hour of her life, that although she objected to almost everybody and everythng she did so because she'd presided over some utopia, and so knew from experience how much better we all could do. She wanted more than anything to live under a benevolent dictator who was exactly like her without being her - if she actually ruled she would relinquish her right to object, and without her right to object who and what would she be?"
Author: Michael Cunningham

37. "Boot the grime of this world in the crotch dear."
Author: Morrissey

38. "Crotch biting menace:I have my mouth in close proximity to your genitals.Oh thou man who talks to my mistress over coffee.Do not irk or trifle with me! I possess but one tooth, oh, yes, for the rest were buried long ago in the flesh of sinners.Behold my jaws, upper and lower in righteous, symmetrical poverty.Move not, man of clocks, and heed my mistress, for she cherishes me, even in my foul old age."
Author: Nick Harkaway

39. "Not so mouthy now, eh, old man?' Sneered the elder of the two. The girl sat next to him pulled a line of chewing gum out of her mouth, winding it round her finger and then starting to chew it again. She had her other hand on the youth's thigh, just below his crotch.‘Yeah, stupid old fucker. Not so mouthy now?'It was this lack of imagination that he deplored more than anything.‘Can you boys not think of anything more original?"
Author: Pete Langman

40. "I'd assumed he'd be old and burly with a side order of crotchety."
Author: Rachel Hawkins

41. "Willie said fathers were overrated, that my father could be one of thousands, most likely some rotten crotch creep that loved clip-on ties. She said I should forget about it. But I didn't forget about it. I couldn't. So the game continued, and for years I added names to the list, imagining that 50 percent of me was somehow respectable instead of rotten. And creepy was certainly relative. After all, what was creepier, a man who loved clip-on ties or a girl who kept a log of fantasy fathers hidden in her desk drawer?"
Author: Ruta Sepetys

42. "According to Beth-Anne, the next reporter is Nico Renault from Hollywood Japan Network. Nico's recently had his face tattooed to look like the Kabuki-made-up Gene Simmons of the pre-FUS rock band Kiss. He wears his hair in bright blond spikes. He also wears the body of a cow suit without the head, the rubber udders protruding at crotch level, lending the getup a rather multipenised look."
Author: Ryan Boudinot

43. "She'd never shaken off the feeling of being damaged by her ignorance of Love, of what it might be like to be wholly possessed by the archetypal, capitalized djinn, the yearning towards, the blurring of the boundaries of the self, the unbuttoning, until you were open from your adam's-apple to your crotch: just words, because she didn't know the thing."
Author: Salman Rushdie

44. "(His heart clenched as she made a kissing noise to him then handed the phone back to Vane. Gods, how he loved that woman.)Ahh, Tally, me lub you too. (Vane)Shut up, crotch-sniffer. You're not allowed to make lovey noises at me, only my honey is. (Talon)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

45. "From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, [...] and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attilla and a pack of other lovers with queer names [...] I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest..."
Author: Sylvia Plath

46. "Colon looked awkward, as if the bunched underwear of the past was tangling itself in the crotch of recollection."
Author: Terry Pratchett

47. "You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while."
Author: Tucker Max

48. "When I began playing the game, baseball was about as gentlemanly as a kick in the crotch."
Author: Ty Cobb

49. "He absent-mindedly fondled his crotch and then whipped his hand away.No masturbation,he suddenly decided.He tried to think about this but sustained logical thought on one topic was difficult and unnecessary.No,i am not wasting any semen on Madna.It was an impulse,but he felt that he should record it.In the diary under that date,he wrote,'From today no masturbation.Test your will,you bastard'. Then he wondered at his bravado.No masturbation at all?That was impossible."
Author: Upamanyu Chatterjee

50. "TO A CHILD, BEHELD IN SUMMER RAIMENTLittle girl, one lesser garmentwill suffice to clothe your crotch,Hide that undiscovered cavernWhere old Time will wind his watch."
Author: William Gaddis

Crotch Quotes Pictures