Ex Girlfriends Tumblr Quotes

1. "My best girlfriends are the girls I went to college with at UCLA."
Author: Beth Behrs

2. "In case you haven't heard, my girlfriends and I have declared the summer of 2012 as the best summer ever. The best way to document said 'best summer ever' is with a good ol' disposable camera. Smile, click, move on! Nobody gets pic approval, and there's no time wasted gathering around the camera to analyze a moment that just happened."
Author: Candice Accola

3. "As I was fixing in the bathroom, I thought about how I used to tell my ex Anne that there was "no reality." Light merely entered the eye and was translated into electrical signals which were translated into chemical signals translated into gestalts and translated into electrical signals again and so on. It was all a dream of a dream of a dream signifying a source which could be reality of which we experienced only distant modulated echoes of ripples.This used to really annoy her because she suspected it had something to do with my failure to get a job."
Author: Carl John X. Veraja

4. "ONE OF MY girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern."
Author: Chelsea Handler

5. "Ya saben: se puede estar solo en una fiesta de declarados amigos, en un asado familiar, en una mesa ruidosa de ex compañeras del secundario; se puede estar sola en la ciudad -a todas nos ha pasado-aunque todos los flacos te miren y te murmuren cosas cuando pasás. Pero, ¿saben que? también estamos solas cuando al amor lo encontramos online: lo leemos, lo sentimos, pero no lo vemos. Cuando las pruebas sólo son escritas, duele."
Author: Cielo Latini

6. "For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done!"
Author: Connie Britton

7. "The day I showed up to South Carolina to work, I was with my kid and my ex and our dog and Kirk was hanging with this weird guy and I kind of defined the two of them by his friend and made a vow to avoid him."
Author: Donal Logue

8. "She's on his mind again. Her mind is on the boy that smiled at her today. That boy's mind is on another girl. The other girl has her mind on her ex. Her ex is thinking of the girl at the bar. The girl at the bar is thinking of her high school sweetheart. Just as your mind is always on someone, someone's mind is always is on you. What is love but when two minds are thinking of each other."
Author: Everance Caiser

9. "I've seriously got to stop turning my girlfriends gay, but like I can really help it. It's my animal appeal."
Author: Gena Showalter

10. "I will not fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts."
Author: Helen Fielding

11. "My bed feels empty without my ex wife in it. Also, I'm not in it, so that's probably why it feels so empty."
Author: Jarod Kintz

12. "Cold and anger were not a good mix."Hayden," Nick called from behind me.Oh,good! Just what this walk needed:a double-shot of ex to go with that cold and anger."
Author: Jennifer Echols

13. "Multum ex scenâ."
Author: Jeremy Bentham

14. "I have girlfriends who've had Botox and been left with lumps in their faces. And the lips, don't even get me started."
Author: Joan Collins

15. "...no matter how beneficial a disappearing act might be for me, I could never tear myself away from a show in progress. Even when the plot's tragic ending is apparent to the entire audience. Perhaps there's a deus ex machina that will lower from the ceiling and turn the whole debacle into a romantic comedy. never can tell. Paid the full ticket price, might as well stay."
Author: Josh Kilmer Purcell

16. "My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull"
Author: Josh Stern

17. "My ex calls the ochre winter 'autumn' as we queue to hear dock boys play jazz fugues in velvet dark.— Broken Verses"
Author: Kamila Shamsie

18. "Darlin', you can't tell me your ex wasn't adventurous and not expect me to see it as a challenge."
Author: Leah Braemel

19. "We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades."
Author: Lisa Bonet

20. "Thank God I never got in a fight. All of the jock dudes hated me, but all of their girlfriends thought I was nice so they wouldn't touch me. It was infuriating to them."
Author: Mark Hoppus

21. "I turned to face Audrey, and everything I loved was right there in her eyes, the memories tangible: the schooldays and sleepovers, the cheap bottles of wine and sappy chick flicks. She was there for my mother's drunken relapses, there to hold me until I fell asleep the first time the ex from Seattle hit me. It was all there, and my God, each memory was suddenly sacred and the sun rose and set upon it."
Author: Rachael Wade

22. "Um, Dues ex machina anyone?"
Author: Rick Riordan

23. "I suck at fighting. I have never really learned how to talk and be mad at the same time. If I have angry words to say, I need time to rehearse. I can't improvise when my head's dizzy with adrenaline; I have to cool down and then write out a script. I found this trait very difficult when I was trying to be a boyfriend, because in my experience, boyfriends and girlfriends often spend a lot of time fighting. Husbands and wives seem to spend a lot of time avoiding fights. This might be a bad thing, for all I know, but it seems to be part of why I like being a husband better."
Author: Rob Sheffield

24. "Oh, he shouldn't be surprised, he's a Marxist and has nothing but contempt for the bourgeois capitalist press, yet paradoxically he is also somehow an Americanist and a believer in Science and Freedom and History and Reason, and it dismays him to see cruelty politely concealed in data, madness taken for granted and even honored, truth buried away and rotting in all that ex cathedra trivia--my God! something terrible is about to happen, and they have time to editorialize on mustaches, advertise pink cigarettes for weddings, and report on a lost parakeet! Ah, sometimes he just wants to ram the goddamn thing with his head in an all-out frontal attack, wants to destroy all this so-called history so that history can start again."
Author: Robert Coover

25. "Don't touch me, Daimon. You're not worthy. (Kessar)Up yours, asshole. I don't want the Sumerian slime pit stench on me anyway. Take your girlfriends and get the hell out of our casino. (Damien)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

26. "The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend?" William asked. The look on William's face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish"
Author: Tate Hallaway

27. "I held up my hands. 'I thought you could use a punching bag.' See, this is me, the new and improved Nick Pardee, available to girlfriends and crazy people in their time of need."
Author: Tessa Gratton

28. "Readers tend to tolerate such "accidents"... when they get the characters into trouble but they're less accepting when the author uses them to rescue people. The "deus ex machina"...in one stroke it renders meaningless all the efforts of the cast."
Author: Thomas McCormack

29. "Divorce isn't the child's fault. Don't say anything unkind about your ex to the child, because you're really just hurting the child."
Author: Valerie Bertinelli

Ex Girlfriends Tumblr Quotes Pictures