Funny Extended Family Quotes

1. "My family was very Halloween-friendly, for all of the religion and whatever was going on."
Author: Bill Moseley

2. "It's quite the family reunion we're having in here."
Author: Cynthia Hand

3. "I would like to buy about three dollars worth of gospel, please. Not too much – just enough to make me happy, but not so much that I get addicted. I don't want so much gospel that I learn to really hate covetousness and lust. I certainly don't want so much that I start to love my enemies, cherish self-denial, and contemplate missionaryservice in some alien culture. I want ecstasy, not repentance; I want transcendence, not transformation. I would like to be cherished by some nice, forgiving, broad-minded people, but Imyself don't want to love those from different races – especially if they smell. I would like enough gospel to make my family secure and my children well behaved, but not so much that I find my ambitions redirected or my giving too greatly enlarged. I wouldlike about three dollars worth of gospel, please."
Author: D.A. Carson

4. "Experience burned into me the conviction that access to education ought to be based on how much you are willing to learn and how hard you are willing to work, not on how many dollars your family has in their bank account."
Author: Dave Obey

5. "A new dynasty is never founded without a struggle. Blood makes good manure. It will be a good thing for the Rougon family to be founded on a massacre, like many illustrious families."--Monsieur de Carnavant"
Author: Émile Zola

6. "She's as funny as a toothache"
Author: Erma Bombeck

7. "I think it's so funny when people think they can't control a movie star. They can. We're just women, you know."
Author: Esther Williams

8. "Many parents have experienced the fact that kids don't seem to honor their parents the way that previous generations of children did. The question we need to ask is, how did we get to this position? How did this lack of respect infiltrate even the closest family relationships? Most importantly, how can we make sure that it doesn't ruin our bond with our own teens?"
Author: Fiona Dimas Herd

9. "I have painted my family so frequently because they are the one who really affect me the most."
Author: Gerhard Richter

10. "Peter was not with them for the moment, and they felt rather lonely up there by themselves. He could go so much faster than they that he would suddenly shoot out of sight, to have some adventure in which they had no share. He would come down laughing over something fearfully funny he had been saying to a star, but he had already forgotten what it was, or he would come up with mermaid scales still sticking to him, and yet not be able to to say for certain what had been happening. It was really rather irritating to children who had never seen a mermaid."
Author: J.M. Barrie

11. "You didn't take part, Benjamin?" Gunther asked, as he passed me a plate of cheese and cold meat."My brother doesn't play games," said Paul. "He's an aesthete. He sat by the window all afternoon with a funny look on his face: probably composing a tone poem."
Author: Jonathan Coe

12. "I'm really focused on my research almost 100 percent. That, and my family and kids."
Author: Joseph DeRisi

13. "For each self-criticism, there were many criticisms. My mother's two comrades insisted that she had behaved in a 'bourgeois' manner. They said she had not wanted to go to the country to help collect food; when she pointed out that she had gone, in line with the Party's wishes, they retorted: "Ah, but you didn't really want to go." Then they accused her of having enjoyed privileged food cooked, moreover, by her mother at home and of succumbing to illness more than most pregnant women. Mrs. Mi also criticized her because her mother had made clothes for the baby. "Who ever heard of a baby wearing new clothes?"she said. "Such a bourgeois waste! Why can't she just wrap the baby up in old clothes like everyone else?" The fact that my mother had shown her sadness that my grandmother had to leave was singled out as definitive proof that she 'put family first," a serious offense."
Author: Jung Chang

14. "He'd always loved this land, loved how his family had tamed it. It was as much a part of him as his blood. Being involved with him meant moving back here. Being surrounded by bad memories."
Author: Leah Braemel

15. "My wife is so funny and talented and never lets anybody fail next to her."
Author: Mark Consuelos

16. "A stylist might say you look amazing in anything. Your family will always tell you if you look a complete idiot."
Author: Mika

17. "I saw Dad's eyes widen just a fraction when he heard my voice catch. He glanced at me but quickly turned away. He didn't want me to see his reaction, but I did, and I'll never forget it. In that brief glimpse, I could see what he was thinking behind that fixed stare. There would be no grandkids, there would be no more Creed family bloodline, nothing else to look forward to. From that point on I'd become the last, most devastating disappointment in what he thought his life had added up to--one overwhelming failure."
Author: Perry Moore

18. "Now I see some family resemblance. I was starting to wonder if Jill was adopted, but you two kind of look like each other.""So does our mailman back in North Dakota," said Adrian."
Author: Richelle Mead

19. "The family is a vast project, so enormous and important, both for us personally and for the world at large, that it's worth putting up with all the incomprehensible cares of life, all that superfluous pain, for its sake."
Author: Sándor Márai

20. "But that's just the thing thought. Family isn't something that is supposed to be static or set. People marry in, divorce out. They're born, they die. It's always evolving, turning into something else. Even that picture of James's family was only the true representation for that day. By the next, something has probably changed. It had to."
Author: Sarah Dessen

21. "You're hiding things from me, Jillian, and that hurts." His voice dropped and he moved closer to me, his body inches from mine. "Because I want all of you. The sexy part and the funny part and especially the fucked-up part."
Author: Sophia Bleu

22. "I'm allergic to family occasions. Sometimes I think we'd do better as dandelion seeds-no family, no history, just floating off into the world, each on our own piece of fluff."
Author: Sophie Kinsella

23. "It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars."
Author: Stephan Pastis

24. "Almost any decent cook will make food by eye and taste. Virtually all of my family cooked that way."
Author: Steve Albini

25. "Disney was a family film studio. I was supposed to be their young, leading man. After they found out I was involved with someone, that was the end of Disney."
Author: Tommy Kirk

26. "It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy."
Author: Tony Hancock

27. "Possibly I've become less funny as I've been happier."
Author: Wendy Cope

Funny Extended Family Quotes Pictures