Funny Lifeguards Quotes

1. "Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces."
Author: Amy Poehler

2. "I'd argue with Warren, but it's a funny thing with people. Even if you argue, when that person isn't around to say their piece, you say it for them. You may not even link with their point, but out of loyalty you make that man's point for him 'cause he ain't there. Years later, in college, surrounded by cynical liberals like myself, I'd say things that I swear came out of Warren's mouth and it helped me understand that old saying that no man is an island. People ask me what my greatest strengths are and I say perspective. The best way to get that is to meet people that are polar opposites; you learn the most from them. There are pieces of you that are inherently yours, but everything else is a collection of the things you've seen and the people you've met. In the end, we're like the Triumph beat: who's next on this RZA track? Step up and drop a verse on my story. That's the illest."
Author: Eddie Huang

3. "Razor appeared on his shoulder with a buzzing laugh. "Stupid goblins," he crowed, bouncing up and down, making Kierran sigh. "Funny, stupid goblins think master is funny elf. Ha!" He buzzed once more and sat down, grinning like a psychotic piranha."
Author: Julie Kagawa

4. "I put my hands on his chest, splaying my fingers, feeling his heart beat under my palm. Funny how such a simple thing like a heartbeat could fascinate me now that I didn't have one. Or maybe it was just Zeke's heart that I was fascinated with."
Author: Julie Kagawa

5. "Evan Handler is a man who's looked into the abyss and laughed. His book, It's Only Temporary, made me laugh along with him. He covers love, lust, showbiz, triumph, and despair – and he manages to be both funny and inspiring about all of it. It's an important book that I think can help to spread goodness around the world. Something we desperately need."
Author: Lance Armstrong

6. "Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach.""I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister."You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied."
Author: Lisa Lutz

7. "I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too."
Author: Sophie Marceau

8. "Kenji has a hand pressed to his mouth, desperately trying to suppress a smile. He's shaking his head, holding up a hand in apology. And then he breaks, laughing out loud, snorting as he tries to muffle the sound. "I'm sorry," he says, pressing his lips together, shaking his head again. "This is not a funny moment. It's not. I'm not laughing"
Author: Tahereh Mafi

9. "That's the funny thing," she said. "Men always want to die for something. For someone. I can see the appeal. You do it once and it's done. No more worrying, not knowing, about tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. I know you all think it sounds brave, but I'll tell you something even braver. To struggle and fight for the ones you love today. And then do it all over again the next day. Every day. For your whole life. It's not as romantic, I admit. But it takes a lot of courage to live for someone, too."
Author: Victor LaValle

Funny Lifeguards Quotes Pictures