Funny Visionaries Quotes

1. "Hanged"I hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,the point is I hanged myself today and I'm stillhanging.I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping thatsomeone will come home and cut me downbut then I keep remembering that if I knewsomeone like that I wouldn't be up here. Bitironic, right? Or is that not ironic? I readsomewhere that, like, anything funny is,in some way, ironic. But I don't know if it'sfunny or not. I don't think my brain owns"funny", you know?I feel taller. I like that.I've never been away from my shadow forthis long. It had always clung to my feet,parting momentarily for a quick dive intothe swimming pool. But never for fivehours. I like it. There's three feet of spacebetween my two and the floor.I wanted something this morning. I may bestuck. But at least I'm three feet closer to it."
Author: Bo Burnham

2. "Why would they have gone to the trouble to hire the best comedy writers in the business to write funny material for us to play straight, if the children in our audience were the only audience."
Author: Burt Ward

3. "Your last letter made me laugh so much, Em, but you should still get out of there because while it's good for gags it's definitely bad for your soul. You can't throw years of your life away because it makes a funny anecdote."
Author: David Nicholls

4. "A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is."
Author: Diana Vreeland

5. "My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken, normal human beings while I'm just a lunatic. I don't know where this loud, ballsy, hammy ridiculousness came from. I'm just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It's not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles."
Author: Emma Stone

6. "So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?""That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney.""Oh, really?""O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?""Very good. You should be on the stage.""It's funny you should mention that."The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . .""Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards."Actors," he said. "Highly strung."
Author: Eoin Colfer

7. "It's funny how getting stabbed through the heart by a friend can bring your whole school year down."
Author: Heather Brewer

8. "Fifteen birds in five firtrees, their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze! But, funny little birds, they had no wings! O what shall we do with the funny little things? Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot; fry them, boil them and eat them hot?"
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

9. "The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
Author: Joey Lauren Adams

10. "It's a funny thing, Markos, but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really what guides them is what they're afraid of. What they don't want."
Author: Khaled Hosseini

11. "I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I was finding the whole situation funny because I was speaking to his profile."
Author: Madeleine Stowe

12. "The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes."
Author: Nikolai Gogol

13. "Time moves funny and it's hard to pin down. Occasionally, time offers you a hundred opportunities to do the right thing. Sometimes, it gives you only one chance."
Author: Pat Conroy

14. "But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough."
Author: Sarah Silverman

15. "Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with."
Author: Tim Conway

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