Top Funny Work Quotes

Browse top 71 famous quotes and sayings about Funny Work by most favorite authors.

Favorite Funny Work Quotes

1. "I've done so many funny jobs. I worked at a farmer's market through high school. I worked in the stock room of Ralph Lauren. I graduated to salesperson at Ralph Lauren, which was a big deal to me. I've been a P.A. I've been a stand-in. I've been an assistant's assistant."
Author: Allison Williams
2. "I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that."
Author: Amy Schumer
3. "Ivanov: I am a bad, pathetic and worthless individual. One needs to be pathetic, too, worn out and drained by drink, like Pasha, to be still fond of me and to respect me. My God, how I despise myself! I so deeply loathe my voice, my walk, my hands, these clothes, my thoughts. Well, isn't that funny, isn't that shocking? Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, I was cheerful, tireless, passionate, I worked with these very hands, I could speak to move even Philistines to tears, I could cry when I saw grief, I became indignant when I encountered evil. I knew inspiration, I knew the charm and poetry of quiet nights when from dusk to dawn you sit at your desk or indulge you mind with dreams. I believed, I looked into the future as into the eyes of my own mother... And now, my God, I am exhausted, I do not believe, I spend my days and nights in idleness."
Author: Anton Chekhov
4. "It's funny - my wife is more jealous of my books than of other women because I'm always working and thinking about my books."
Author: Antonio Lobo Antunes
5. "It was funny on '24' because I'm a Scots-Canadian, and I was working with the great Scottish actor Tony Curran, and we were both playing Russian gangsters."
Author: Callum Keith Rennie
6. "What an astonishing thing a book is. It's a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic."[Cosmos, Part 11: The Persistence of Memory (1980)]"
Author: Carl Sagan
7. "Shoes are funny beasts. You think they're just clothes, but really, they're alive. They want things. Fancy ones with gems want to go to balls, big boots want to go to work, slippers want to dance. Or sleep. Shoes make the path you're on. Change your shoes, change your path."
Author: Catherynne M. Valente
8. "But it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want."
Author: Chris Bohjalian
9. "It's funny how the beauty of art has so much more to do with the frame than the artwork itself."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
10. "To be able to make a good living in a challenging medium like soap operas is great. The best is that I get to act and am rewarded for it. And the people I work with are great. Funny, intelligent, hard working. They're all great to be around."
Author: David Canary
11. "I felt empty and sad for years, and for a long, long time, alcohol worked. I'd drink, and all the sadness would go away. Not only did the sadness go away, but I was fantastic. I was beautiful, funny, I had a great figure, and I could do math. But at some point, the booze stopped working. That's when drinking started sucking. Every time I drank, I could feel pieces of me leaving. I continued to drink until there was nothing left. Just emptiness."
Author: Dina Kucera
12. "Funny thing, your brain,how it always functions on onelevel or another. How, even stuck insome sort of subconcious limbo, it worksyour lungs, your muscle twitches, your heart,in fact, in symphony with your heart, allowing itto feel love. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt. I wonder if it's thesame for people, lost in comas. Is there really such a thing"
Author: Ellen Hopkins
13. "My first proper kitchen was this funny little club that we set up in Mercer Street in Covent Garden. It got shut down. Then I worked at a club in Notting Hill."
Author: Fergus Henderson
14. "Thanks is part to our education system, we tend to think that we're smarter than the stupid guys in funny wigs who came before us. But that's because we are mistaking technology, progress, and access to information for intelligence. We think that because we know how to use iPhones (but not build them), browse the Internet (but not understand how it works), and use Google (but not really know anything), our educational system is working just great. By the same token, we think that those dumb aristocrats who used horses to get around and didn't have electricity were neanderthals."
Author: Glenn Beck
15. "The other night I took her on-out of pity-and what do you think the crazy bitch had done to herself? She had shaved it clean ... not a speck of hair on it. Did you ever have a woman who shaved her twat? It's repulsive, ain't it? And it's funny, too. Sort of mad like. It doesn't look like a twat any more: it's like a dead clam or something." He describes to me how, his curiosity aroused, he got out of bed and searched for his flashlight. "I made her hold it open and I trained the flashlight on it. You should have seen me ... it was comical. I got so worked up about it that I forgot all about her. I never in my life looked at a cunt so seriously."
Author: Henry Miller
16. "Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch."
Author: Ian Gomez
17. "As a child, one of my defense mechanisms was to try to be funny. My mom tried to nurture that by putting me in acting class. But I got bored when we stopped pretending to be trees and actually had to work."
Author: Ian Gomez
18. "He's a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don't think it was an accident he let me find out how the Mirror worked. It's almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could..."
Author: J.K. Rowling
19. "Being in trouble can have a funny effect on the mind. I don't know if I can explain this. You go through some days and you seem to be hearing people and you seem to be talking to them and you seem to be doing your work, or, at least, your work gets done; but you haven't seen or heard a soul and if someone asked you what you have done that day you'd have to think awhile before you could answer. But at the same time, and even on the self-same day-- and this is what is hard to explain--you see people like you never saw them before."
Author: James Baldwin
20. "It's funny the way things work out. You go in search of one thing and end up finding something else. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was the Force at work." -Han Solo"
Author: James Luceno
21. "Brooding is more something I do when I'm working. I know so much more about sitting around worrying about a work project than I do about worrying about kids. This could just be a fact of life for older moms. We've worked and worked and worked and if we are lucky enough to finally have a child or two, we find ourselves suddenly catapulted into a most alien kind of chaos. Work is so much easier. Anyone will tell you that. To have a desk, where you have everything all lined up, and a schedule you more or less get to agree to. Work. I am a worker. This is so funny because I never really think of my work as work. I certainly never though of myself as having a career. Writing, work, this is just who I am. I am a person who sits at a desk and makes phone calls and taps at a computer keyboard and sips coffee and calls her mom at five. That I am anything better or smaller than that has come as sudden news to me. Brand new.News."
Author: Jeanne Marie Laskas
22. "It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up."
Author: Jimmy Kimmel
23. "That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."
Author: Joe Rogan
24. "I love those dark moments in Peanuts. I love that they're in there, that Charles Schulz put the sad lonely bits of himself into the comic. I love the silliness too, the dancing Snoopy strips. The little boy Rerun drawing "basement" comics about Tarzan fighting Daffy Duck in a helicopter. Those are the bits that keep me reading. The funny parts! The fun parts. The silly bits that don't make any sense. And when I get to the sad lonely Peppermint Patty standing in a field wondering why nobody shook hands and said "good game," well, it works because that's not all she was. I try to think that way about everything. That's the kind of person I want to be."
Author: Joey Comeau
25. "So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work."
Author: Joseph Bologna
26. "What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there."
Author: Keith David
27. "Maybe he couldn't understand why we weren't able to laugh yet, but he knew you can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. In fact, he worked so hard at pointing out the funny side of things that I was wondering a little if maybe he was blind to the other side, if maybe he wasn't able to see what it was that parched laughter deep inside your stomach. Maybe the guys weren't able to see it either, just feel the pressures of the different beams and frequencies coming from all directions, working to push and bend you one way or another, feel the Combine at work - but I was able to see it."
Author: Ken Kesey
28. "You can film me 24 hours a day and you'll get a very accurate picture of who I am. You see the funny side, I work hard, and I try to be honest and just call it how it is."
Author: Lisa Vanderpump
29. "I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy."
Author: Madeline Kahn
30. "Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working."
Author: Marlon Wayans
31. "I've played villains on stage - you know, the Iagos and so on - but I think of myself as a funny person. I mostly did comedies before I did TV work."
Author: Michael Emerson
32. "It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it."
Author: Mike Rowe
33. "If you sit down and think about it sensibly, you come up with some very funny ideas. Like: why make people inquisitive, and then put some forbidden fruit where they can see it with a big neon finger flashing on and off saying 'THIS IS IT!'? ... I mean, why do that if you really don't want them to eat it, eh? I mean, maybe you just want to see how it all turns out. Maybe it's all part of a great big ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything. Some great big test to see if what you've built all works properly, eh? You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire."
Author: Neil Gaiman
34. "And it's funny because it was my grandpa who painted it shut (window) in the first place, and he had a whole storage shed full of just about every tool you could imagine. He was one of those guys who thought he could fix anything, but it never worked out quite as well as he planned. He was more of a visionary than a nuts -and bolts kind of guy."
Author: Nicholas Sparks
35. "It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it."
Author: Owen Wilson
36. "But Wall Street people are in fact very smart; they're funny, they're not company men who work their way up the chain."
Author: Paul Krugman
37. "Life is funny sometimes. Of course it isn't as funny as smashing your brand new Mustang convertible into your house and having your life flash before your eyes. Sitting here in my car in the middle of my den, I can't help but think that things could have worked out differently - that could have been happier - that could have lived the life that was meant for me. That was, if I didn't have to keep up with the Greenbergs."
Author: Phil Wohl
38. "I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage... funny how life works out like that."
Author: Rachel Roy
39. "Needs? I guess that is what bothers so many folks. They keep expanding their needs until they are dependent on too many things and too many other people... I wonder how many things in the average American home could be eliminated if the question were asked, "Must I really have this?" I guess most of the extras are chalked up to comfort or saving time.Funny thing about comfort - one man's comfort is another man's misery. Most people do't work hard enough physically anymore, and comfort is not easy to find. It is surprising how comfortable a hard bunk can be after you come down off a mountain."
Author: Richard Proenneke
40. "I loved being in the room with Mamet as a director - he is the most generous, funny, delightful person to work for every day."
Author: Richard Thomas
41. "John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning."
Author: Richard Widmark
42. "Kristin Bauer is so funny. Half the time I'm working with her I'm just trying to keep a straight face."
Author: Rutina Wesley
43. "Every set has their own personalities and their own quirks. It's funny comparing starring in a show to going in and doing recurring work - there's already a rhythm that's been established, and people know each other so well. It's like being a guest in someone else's home."
Author: Sara Rue
44. "Everyone is messed up in their own way. The funny part is we all don't want anyone else to know, so we work so hard to hide it."
Author: Shana Norris
45. "Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works."
Author: Sherman Alexie
46. "Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works."
Author: Steve Jobs
47. "I went to a foot specialist recently and she said:"You've broken a bone, it's healed funny.""What can you do?""Not much."She strapped me up though and that's the reason my foot is hurting, because the strapping gave me cramp.When I'm about to die I'm going to head ti a swamp so I topple in when the time comes. In 50,000 years when they dig me up, pretty well preserved, the scientists will have to work out what sort of life I led from my bone structure, teeth and whatnot. Maybe I'll be clutching a Felt record or something to give them a clue. They'll look at my foot and say: "This man broke a bone and it's healed funny." And they'll look at the Felt record, analysing the grooves with a Groove Analyser and they'll say: "He was obviously in an indie band and one day the pressure got too much, and he booted a wall." And they wouldn't be far from the truth, those crazy scientists."
Author: Stuart Murdoch
48. "Uh oh, maybe I'm hysterical. No, the look on his face had been so funny. Did he really think to kiss me into submission? That shit might work in romance novels, but not on me. If he wants to kiss me he'll have to earn that privilege again."
Author: Tamara Hoffa
49. "It's very funny because every time I make a movie, and I've heard this re-echoed by other filmmakers and actors I have worked with, you kind of feel like you're naked again. You have to figure it all out from scratch, as if you had never done it before."
Author: Todd Haynes
50. "I love Kate Moss. I've worked with her a couple of times, and she is a great girl, really funny and easy to work with."
Author: Twiggy

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An author who speaks about their own books is almost as bad as a mother who speaks about her own children."
Author: Benjamin Disraeli

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