Getting Laid Quotes

1. "He considered telling her about his years as a big-time smuggler, but he doubted it would improve his odds of getting laid. Once upon a time, sure, absolutely—but hers was a generation that grew up on homegrown or Humboldt and thought Panama Red was a merlot. Gaspers suspected the young bartender would have been more impressed to meet a guy who worked for Apple, or maybe a professional skateboarder."
Author: Carl Hiaasen

2. "Where's the bride-to-be?" Beckett held his arms open for Kyle and gave her a gentle hug. "Good on you, Fairy Princess, making an honest man out of my boy here. Jesus was treating him like shit; he was never getting laid. I hope you two have a million damn kids and name them all Beckett, boys or girls."Kyle returned the hug and smirked. "We might name our dog Beckett, if you're lucky."Beckett laughed a bit too loudly. He seemed desperate to make up for lost time."
Author: Debra Anastasia

3. "He kept messing with her, trying to get her to sleep with him, but Eve had yet to do anything but tease him. In a world full of whores and junkies, not getting laid was a huge turn-on."
Author: Debra Anastasia

4. "Eve stood back and surveyed the scene. Primo was an incomplete kind of handsome. If his father had put in three more thrusts, Primo would have been movie-star gorgeous. But instead he was just shy of getting laid like a rock-star."
Author: Debra Anastasia

5. "Remember literature, Charlie? It involved getting drunk and getting laid."
Author: Don DeLillo

6. "Walter Lucas, you're going to marry me. And you're getting epically laid as soon as we get home."
Author: Heidi Cullinan

7. "As Luxenberg's work has only recently been published we must await its scholarly assessment before we can pass any judgements. But if his analysis is correct then suicide bombers, or rather prospective martyrs, would do well to abandon their culture of death, and instead concentrate on getting laid 72 times in this world, unless of course they would really prefer chilled or white raisins, according to their taste, in the next."
Author: Ibn Warraq

8. "Somebody who was born in this country who visited China would later face difficulty getting back in to the USA. We have to keep in mind that the struggles of the Chinese against these exclusion laws really laid down the foundations of civil rights law."
Author: Iris Chang

9. "You're kind of gross. Might want to think about shaving, too, unless you're going for the homeless look with no chance of getting laid."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout

10. "She. Spoke. To. Him. First. It was like winning the lottery, getting laid, and climbing the highest cliff all rolled into one. But he needed to play it cool, becase he was trending into lame-o land at a quick pace."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout

11. "I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!""Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You're getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you!"
Author: Jill Shalvis

12. "When they were all up playing in the nursery George caught something again and had monia on account of getting cold on his chest and Yourfather was very solemn and said not to grieve if God called little brother away. But God brought little George back to them only he was delicate after that and had to wear glasses, and when Dearmother let Eveline help bathe him because Miss Mathilda was having the measles too Eveline noticed he had something funny there where she didn't have anything. She asked Dearmother if it was a mump, but Dearmother scolded her and said she was a vulgar little girl to have looked. "Hush, child, don't ask questions. Evaline got red all over and cried and Adelaide and Margaret wouldn't speak to her for days on account of her being a vulgar little girl."
Author: John Dos Passos

13. "Psycho? The woman's senile. We had to stop at about thirty gas stations on the way over here. Finally I got tired of getting out of the car and showing her which was the Men's and which was the Women's, so I let her pick them herself. I worked out a system. The law of averages. I laid money on her and she came out about fifty-fifty."
Author: John Kennedy Toole

14. "We cannot calculate our important contests, adventures, and great loves to the end. The only thing we can really count on is getting surprised. No matter how much preparation we do, in the real tests of our lives, we'll be in unfamiliar terrain. Conditions might not be calm or reasonable. It may feel as though the whole world is stacked against us. This is when we have to perform better than we ever conceived of performing. I believe the key is to have prepared in a manner that allows for inspiration, to have laid the foundation for us to create under the wildest pressures we ever imagined."
Author: Josh Waitzkin

15. "If in large part we were concerned only with making it through another day without getting laid off, there was a smaller part just hoping to leave for the night without contributing to someone's lifetime of hurt."
Author: Joshua Ferris

16. "-and nobody's getting laid!" I practically shouted."You think I don't know that?" He shifted his body beneath me, making me painfully aware of something. Two somethings, in fact, one of which was how far up my short skirt was. The other wasn't my problem. I wriggled, to shimmy my hem down, but his expression perished the thought. When Barrons looks at me like that, it rattles me. Lust, in those ancient, obsidian eyes, offers no trace of humanity. Doesn't even bother trying."
Author: Karen Marie Moning

17. "Gwen smiled. "Hardly. Bedraggled is being in the full throes of nicotine withdrawal, and after a week on a bus with a group of senior citizens, falling into a cave, and landing on a body.""And then getting tossed back a few centuries, with no idea of what's going on," Chloe agreed. "Naked, too, weren't you?"Gwen nodded wryly. Gabby blinked. "I gave you my plaid," Drustan protested indignantly."
Author: Karen Marie Moning

18. "That's not making love; it's getting laid. There's a world of difference between the two. Settling for less is cheating yourself." He looked at her steadily. "It's worth the wait."
Author: Kat Attalla

19. "You're the sexiest, most beautiful pregnant woman I've ever seen.""Aw, baby, you're so sweet. But you don't have to keep complimenting me because you're so getting laid tonight."
Author: Katie Ashley

20. "Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent."
Author: Kevin Bacon

21. "Babe, best wool men ever pulled was lettin' women think we think with our dicks. We pay a fuckuva lot of attention. We know your shit maybe more than you do because we live it right along with you and some of you try to make us eat it. It's just that some of us choose not to get sucked in the drama and instead focus on getting laid regularly."
Author: Kristen Ashley

22. "Teens aren't just interested in getting laid. I won't believe that's all they're interested in. I have four younger sisters and they're sick of being shown how they're supposed to react in bed."
Author: Linda Fiorentino

23. "Love it or hate it, thrive in it or still getting the hang of it, the recording studio is the place where your main product is going to be captured, recorded, mixed and created. You need a clear platform from preproduction to the schedule, tracking to the overdubs, vocals to the final mix. The best-laid studio planning will save you the most money and greatly reduce stress."
Author: Loren Weisman

24. "The male frog in mating season," said Crake, "makes as much noise as it can. The females are attracted to the male frog with the biggest, deepest voice because it suggests a more powerful frog, one with superior genes. Small male frogs—it's been documented—discover if they position themselves in empty drainpipes, the pipe acts as a voice amplifier and the small frog appears much larger than it really is."So?"So that's what art is for the artist, an empty drainpipe. An amplifier. A stab at getting laid."
Author: Margaret Atwood

25. "Dad was a man who, due to his underprivileged background perhaps, never hesitated when it came to the verbs to get or to take. He was always getting something off the ground, his act together, his hands dirty, the show on the road, someone's goat, the message, out more, on with things, lost, laid, away with murder. He was also always taking charge, the bull by the horns, back the night, something in stride, someone to the cleaners, a rain check, an axe to something, Manhattan."
Author: Marisha Pessl

26. "With regards to getting laid and getting AIDS: Being interesting can be an interesting guy's downfall."
Author: Mokokoma Mokhonoana

27. "In fact, every woman I met seemed disposable and replaceable. I was experiencing seducer's paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed."
Author: Neil Strauss

28. "If believing absurd falsehoods increase the odds of getting laid or avoiding predators, your brain will believe those falsehoods with all its metaphorical little heart."
Author: Peter Watts

29. "With a regrettable sigh he shook his head."I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out.""What the hell are you doing, Trevor?" Hankdemanded anxiously. No doubt the manwouldn't be getting laid tonight, but Trevorcouldn't help it. He had his standards andthis woman failed them."Maybe we could go grab a cup of coffeesomewhere and get to know-"He held up his hand, stopping her before shemade an even bigger fool out of herself."Please stop.""But, I was only-""Don't beg.""I wasn't. I was just-""Begging?" Trevor guessed, sighing. "I know,but you're going to have to accept that thiswould never work out."She frowned up at him. "I wasn't begging. Iwas just going to suggest that we should-""Look," he said, reaching for the door, "thiss just getting sad. I'm just going to go beforethings get out of hand."
Author: R.L. Mathewson

30. "Sophie, you saw Alice's transformation."I nodded. "And the murder of my great-grandfather. Weird it showed me that when I've had so many other awful things happen directly to me," I said, beginning to tick them off on my fingers. "Elodie getting killed, having to kill Alice, escaping a burning building with the help of a ghost…" And then, because both my parents looked so deflated, I added, "Oh, and this really heinous pageboy haircut in sixth grade."A few wan smiles appeared, but I think it was just to humor me."Yes, but that was the act that was directly responsible for all of those other horrible events," Dad said. "Well, except for the haircut. I suspect that can be laid at your mother's door.""James!" Mom protested, but I swear I heard affection behind it. I think Dad did, too, because his lips quirked upward briefly."
Author: Rachel Hawkins

31. "I pulled the MG in beside him at the curb and he got in."This thing ain't big enough for either one of us," he said. "When you getting something that fits?""It goes with my preppy look," I said. "You get one of these, they let you drive around the north shore, watch polo, anything you want."I let the clutch in and turned right on Dartmouth."How you get laid in one of these?" Hawk said."You just don't understand preppy," I said. "I know it's not your fault. You're only a couple generations out of the jungle. I realize that. But if you're preppy you don't get laid in a car.""Where do you get laid if you preppy?"I sniffed. "One doesn't," I said."Preppies gonna be outnumbered in a while," Hawk said."
Author: Robert B. Parker

32. "His hormones never calmed down once they set in when he was a teenager.""Yeah, we've considered getting him neutered," Nathan adds,a goading tone to his voice.I see Nathan and Sol share a look,then Sol says,"Sorry, when did you last get laid, Nate? Oh yeah, about a year ago." He smiles smugly. "Me, you ask? Oh well, I got some yesterday."
Author: Samantha Towle

33. "Can you believe our Ash is getting laid? Our baby is growing up. I'm so proud!"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

34. "When you visit a foreign city you are in it, but not of it, separated by a glass wall. Once, while a student, I was getting dressed in my ground-floor room when a family of Italians crossed the grass to watch, as if I were laid on for their amusement and instruction."
Author: Simon Hoggart

35. "Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy."
Author: Stephen King

36. "I'm grateful for doing those drugs, because they kept me from getting laid and I would have gotten AIDS."
Author: Steven Tyler

37. "She sank with an enormous sigh that carried all rigidity like a mythical fluid from her, down next to him; so weak she couldn't help him undress her; it took him 20 minutes, rolling, arranging her this way and that, as if she thought, he were some scaled-up, short-haired, poker-faced little girl with a Barbie doll. She may have fallen asleep once or twice. She awoke at last to find herself getting laid; she'd come in on a sexual crescendo in progress, like a cut to a scene where the camera's already moving. Outside a fugue of guitars had begun, and she counted each electronic voice as it came in, till she reached six or so and recalled only three of the Paranoids played guitars; so others must be plugging in."
Author: Thomas Pynchon

38. "[Oedipa Maas] awoke at last to find herself getting laid."
Author: Thomas Pynchon

39. "I knew that by getting behind the wheel of the car and having had something to drink, the responsibility laid on my shoulders."
Author: Tracey Gold

40. "One of us needs to get laid.""Just one of us?""What are the odds of both of us getting laid?"
Author: Tucker Max

41. "They make sense in a superficial way, and they've been tossed around so much that they are almost a received wisdom. Spouses do feel unloved, do feel bored, do think the lover understands them better or is at least more willing to act that way for the sake of getting laid. What I think I should have been told - what I think any adulterer should be told - is this: If your needs weren't being met, you ought to have communicated them. If the spark was gone and this bugs you, find it again or get out. Is sex ever really boring, really? And you know where the passion went - it went into your lover's bed, that is where you took it. And your lover really understood you better only because you were answering the front door in a thong."
Author: Wendy Plump

42. "As an adult, getting paid thousands of dollars a week to say, "Aye, Sir. Course laid in" is a seriously sweet gig, but when I was a teenager, it sucked."
Author: Wil Wheaton

43. "Voodou isn't like that. It isn't concerned with notions of salvation and transcendence. What it's about is getting things done. You follow me? In out system, there are many gods, spirits. Part of one big family, with all the virtues, all the vices. There's a ritual tradition of communal manifestation, understand? Voodou says, there's a God, sure, Gran Met, but He's big, too big and too far away to worry Himself if your ass is poor, or you can't get laid. Come on, man, you know how this works, it's street religion, came out of dirt poor places a million years ago. Voodou's like the street. Some duster chops out your sister, you don't go camp on the Yakuza's doorstep, do you? No way. You go to somebody, though, who can get the thing done. Right?"
Author: William Gibson

Getting Laid Quotes Pictures