Hilari Quotes

1. "What she felt was a lighthearted sort of compassion, almost like laughter. A swish of tender hilarity, getting the better of all her sores and hollows, for the time given."
Author: Alice Munro

2. "In my personal life, I'm hilarious! I was always a bit of a jokester."
Author: Alison Brie

3. "The most hilarious person ever is God"
Author: Alzenati Zenati

4. "...I've gotten endless signs of the greatness of God's love and hilarious care, but I always end up needing a newer sign, maybe one that is cuter and more spangly."
Author: Anne Lamott

5. "So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article - front page of the paper - one day, in England: 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' Wooooo... 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight."
Author: Bill Hicks

6. "Michael Buble is seriously my favorite entertainer. Have you ever seen the guy in concert? He's hilarious. Women love him. Guys want to meet him. He has everything that I wish I could do onstage. And I'm guessin' he's a good-lookin' guy - although he's not one of 'People' magazine's sexiest men."
Author: Blake Shelton

7. "Koreans are hilarious."
Author: Bobby Lee

8. "Smiles are a funny thingand laughter is hilarious.I smile sometimeswhen I am delirious."
Author: Casey Renee Kiser

9. "Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious."
Author: Cassandra Clare

10. "Ah," said Magnus. "Nerd love. It is a beautiful thing, while also being on object of mockery and hilarity for those of us who are more sophisticated."-Magnus Bane"
Author: Cassandra Clare

11. "So..." Heather nodded slowly. "We're still here.""Yep. I think your team of SWAT guys got lost. Probably looking for their shirts."She made a face at him. "You're effing hilarious.""I try."
Author: Chelsea Fine

12. "Most of the customers were from Kerry and Limerick. One was a lawyer, a tall, fat sandy-haired man. He lorded it over the others by buying them drinks. They clinked glasses with him and called him a 'motherfucking ambulance chaser' when he went to the bathroom. It was not a series of words they would have used at home -- motherfucking ambulance chasers weren't big in the old country -- but they said it as often as they could. With great hilarity they injected it into songs when the lawyer left. One of the songs had an ambulance chaser going over the Cork and Kerry mountains."
Author: Colum McCann

13. "There is great nobility in ordinary people. The world disappoints us all, and the ways we change our own stories to survive that disappointment are beautiful and tragic and hilarious. On balance, I find much more to admire about humanity than to despise."
Author: Daniel Abraham

14. "I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious."
Author: Danny DeVito

15. "Acting-wise, I haven't done a lot of comedy, so I would love to work with Jane Lynch. I think she's hilarious."
Author: David Sutcliffe

16. "I remember now. Calling you. It's hard, everything's running together. I called and called and called. Like a shotgun, firing in every direction hoping to hit somethin'. I bet I called you twenty times." "Twice. You called me twice. John, answer my question." "Really? You kept getting weird on me. You know what I think? I think you'll be getting calls from me for the next eight or nine years. All from tonight. I couldn't help it, couldn't get oriented. Kept slipping out of the time . . . you've got a voice mail message three years from now that's freaking hilarious."
Author: David Wong

17. "If I were related to Monet, I don't know if I would be comfortable becoming an artist because it's too much, the comparison. If I wrote a book and put it out, the comparison to my great-grandfather, the comparison would be hilarious. Every critic, it would be their dream, they'd tear me apart."
Author: Dree Hemingway

18. "The entity should attempt, - seriously, prayerfully, spiritually, - to see even that as might be called the ridiculous side of every question, - the humor in same. Remember that a good laugh, an arousing even to what might in some be called hilariousness, is good for the body, physically, mentally, and gives the opportunity for greater mental and spiritual awakening."
Author: Edgar Cayce

19. "I don't want anyone to get seriously hurt. But I do watch awards shows to critique the clothes while I sit around eating chips in my sweat pants and in hopes of seeing some hilarious accidental nudity."
Author: Eliza Coupe

20. "A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!"
Author: Fred Tomaselli

21. "But the third Emir, now seeing himself all alone on the quarter-deck, seems to feel relieved from some curious restraint; for, tipping all sorts of knowing winks in all sorts of directions, and kicking off his shoes, he strikes into a sharp but noiseless squall of a hornpipe right over the Grand Turk's head; and then, by a dexterous sleight, pitching his cap up into the mizentop for a shelf, he goes down rollicking so far at least as he remains visible from the deck, reversing all other processions, by bringing up the rear with music. But ere stepping into the cabin doorway below, he pauses, ships a new face altogether, and, then, independent, hilarious little Flask enters King Ahab's presence, in the character of Abjectus, or the Slave."
Author: Herman Melville

22. "It's hilarious to recognize how completely another person resembles your imperfect self."
Author: Ian McEwan

23. "We need a barn or one of those storage areas for the Broken vehicles.""A garage?"He gave her a short nod. "A private, relatively remote location, with thick walls to dampen the sound and preferably a sturdy door I could bolt from the inside, keeping your grandmother, your brothers, and all other painfully annoying spectators out..."Rose began to laugh. A make-out bunker..."I'm glad you find our dilemma hilarious,"
Author: Ilona Andrews

24. "I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious."
Author: J. B. Smoove

25. "Shut up," I snapped. "This is not the time. What part of this situation seems like a joke to you?"Lohka pulled up his knees, giving a feeble, half-manic little laugh. "Oh, maybe just the idea that some soul-devouring being of chaos could be waiting anywhere to finish destroying my life," he said. "That's kind of hilarious, you know. Have you ever had a soul-devouring being of chaos hunting you down so it could finish eating you?""No," I said. "I'm sorry, Lohka.""That's nice," he muttered."What about the part where this soul-devouring being of chaos seems to have a taste for me at the moment?" Zhabyr asked. "Can we worry about that, now? Because I kind of already am."
Author: J. Leigh Bralick

26. "Did you kiss?" asked Hermione briskly.Ron sat up so fast that he sent his ink bottle flying all over the rug. Disregarding this completely he stared avidly at Harry."Well?" he demanded.Harry looked from Ron's expression of mingled curiosity and hilarity to Hermione's slight frown, and nodded."HA!"Ron made a triumphant gesture with his fist an went into a raucous peal of laughter that made several timid-looking second years over beside the window jump. A reluctant grin spread over Harry's face as he watched Ron rolling around on the hearthrug. Hermione gave Ron a look of deep disgust and returned to her letter."
Author: J.K. Rowling

27. "Have you ever fired one of those before?" Peter teases. "How hard can it be?" The first time we said those words seems like lifetimes ago. "I don't know, but you make it look nearly impossible." "You're hilarious. Who needs a gun when you can just knock ‘em dead with your wit?" "I am pretty witty. So, are you ready?" "No, are you?" "Not in the slightest." "Oh good, we're all set then."
Author: Jamie Canosa

28. "For years, I always thought it was hilarious that I was this fitness guru, because fitness was just a tool I utilized to help people improve their confidence. For me, it's never been about fitness. It's always been about helping to empower people."
Author: Jillian Michaels

29. "She pushed the car. But I was so distracted that i forgot to push the button on the timer, so we had to do the whole thing again. Which Lindsey found hilarious. "Ok" she said. "Are you ready NOW, or do we have to send you back to Button Pushing one-oh-one?" "Um, what's Button Pushing One-oh-one?" I was wearing a button down shirt that day. Lindsey reached out and poked one of the buttons into my chest. "There, that's how you push a button. Any questions?"
Author: Jordan Sonnenblick

30. "Why not try thinking of your life as hilarious rather than nightmarish?"
Author: Julia Sweeney

31. "'Free Agents' was an awesome experience. I never play the glam girl in anything, so that was a new experience. I would walk into one of my trailers and it would be like Spanx, a spray-tan gun, and chicken cutlets. I would have hair extensions. It was hilarious. Every day felt like I was turning into an awesome drag queen."
Author: Kathryn Hahn

32. "Are you going to put on your old cheer uniform?"Ryan was a little too excited by the thought of me in a costume, so I squashed that idea, and fast."In your dreams.""Not exactly." Ryan grinned wickedly. "In my dreams you're usually dressed like Wonder Woman."Ugh. I wondered how long it would take for him to start in on the superhero crap. Obviously, not long. I was not amused, but Ryan seemed to thinkhimself hilarious. I could also tell by the look on his face that he was quite confident he'd have me in costume one day. "Never gonna happen," Iassured him. "Ever."And of course he responded with that classic, cocky smile. "Just like you were never gonna be my girlfriend, right?"
Author: Kelly Oram

33. "I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people."
Author: Kesha

34. "My favorite lie was the online rumor that Bruce Willis was my uncle. That's hilarious."
Author: Kreayshawn

35. "Royal Young has accomplished a rare feat in his fresh and riveting debut: he manages to recount his fascinating youth and unconventional family with a mixture of humor, scathing honesty and tenderness. Much more than simply a book about a kid who dreams of stardom, Fame Shark is a thoughtful, hilarious and moving love letter to his family and the Lower East Side of New York City."
Author: Kristen Johnston

36. "When things go well for days on end, it is an hilarious accident."
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

37. "I love the movie 'Taken,' but the dialogue in the beginning of that movie is hilarious. They're talking, these commando types, and there's dialogue like, 'Hopefully your daughter appreciates what you're doing for her. Does she know that you're doing it?' What guys talk like this?"
Author: Michael Jai White

38. "LA isn't a walking city, or a subway city, so if someone isn't in my house or my car we'll never be together, not even for a moment. And just to be absolutely sure of that, when I leave my car my iPhone escorts me, letting everyone else in the post office know that I'm not really with them, I'm with my own people, who are so hilarious that I can't help smiling to myself as I text them back."
Author: Miranda July

39. "You have to think outside the box! Can you imagine One Direction and Eminem?! That would be hilarious."
Author: Niall Horan

40. "When you exclude anything that is improbable, whatever is left, is not as hilarious."
Author: Oleg Medvedkov

41. "If the onset of wrinkles in middle age were referred to as laughter lines, then to look at him, Scott thought, Twinkle's life must have been hilarious. He had sharp eyes that often seemed to visually contradict the lack of intelligence that could be derived from listening to him talk. There might not be a lot to respect in Twinkle, but Scott liked him. He just didn't want to end up like him."
Author: R.D. Ronald

42. "Whatever shall you wear?' Torin observed, propping his chin in his hand. 'Let's see, there's the black T-shirt with black jeans. Or perhaps, if you're going for elegance over function, you could wear the black T-shirt with black jeans. Ooh!' He sat up, widening his eyes. 'Do you know what would be particularly fetching? The black-''T-shirt with black jeans,' I finished for him. 'Hilarious."
Author: Rachel Hawkins

43. "I have never liked Morrissey, and I still don't. I think it's hilarious, actually, what things I've heard about him, what he's really like, and his public persona is so different. He's such an actor."
Author: Robert Smith

44. "Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly..."
Author: Saket Assertive

45. "You're so hilarious. You know, if this whole Daimon-slaying gig doesn't work out for you, you should really consider being a comedian. The bright Barney hair color would just add to the overall entertainment factor."
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

46. "Perhaps the most extraordinary popular delusion about violence of the past quarter-century is that it is caused by low self-esteem. That theory has been endorsed by dozens of prominent experts, has inspired school programs designed to get kids to feel better about themselves, and in the late 1980s led the California legislature to form a Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem. Yet Baumeister has shown that the theory could not be more spectacularly, hilariously, achingly wrong. Violence is a problem not of too little self-esteem but of too much, particularly when it is unearned."
Author: Steven Pinker

47. "...and they realize it is just the two of them now, when the father has gone and the children are left alone in the funhouse, they stand in silence, the fat lady and the short man with one arm, and try to look only at the mirrors, but a gust of happiness that seems to have no borders, bliss without an edge, envelops them, and exhausted by the stress of desire, hilarious with happiness, they turn toward each other and kiss (and kiss and kiss), and their turn, their kiss, was shattered, multiplied in the mirrors above."
Author: Susan Sontag

48. "Despite that I was sober as a judge, I felt drunk from Jared's teasing . Of course he thought that was hilarious and was very pleased with himself. So I bit him. The thing about Sventé saliva was that it could spark the ‘blood donor' to have an orgasm if the vampire drank from them for more than ten seconds … I counted to eight before releasing him, but the damage was done – he was as horny as I was and more than ready to fuck. About bloody time. "I take it you're ready to leave now." His lopsided smile had me smiling back. "You're a tricky bitch, aren't you? I can respect that." He teleported us both to the living area of our apartment, where we instantly dived on each other."
Author: Suzanne Wright

49. "Normal people with normal problems can be hilarious."
Author: Tommy Lee Jones

50. "This Syrian circus/crisis we are going through is hilarious... It's like watching some thug killing another person and asking him for his bullets but releasing him free."
Author: Ziad K. Abdelnour

Hilari Quotes Pictures