Top Jakes Quotes

Browse top 6 famous quotes and sayings about Jakes by most favorite authors.

Favorite Jakes Quotes

1. "Country jakes are always whining about the sanctity of states' rights and individual freedoms. Yet when a couple of queers want to get married in Massachusetts, half the South goes apeshit with homemade posters and fire-breathing sermons. And when a few million concerned residents of states thousands of miles away decide they want to stop destroying their landscape in the name of corporate mammon and consumer stupidity, the South sends out its greasy merchants of avarice to cajole, bribe, hector, lie, intimidate, and "lobby" until the seed of their plantation mentality is protected and their gluttonous mouths are once again filled with the jizz of the master caste before whom they kneel like Bourbon Street whores on Navy payday."
Author: Chuck Thompson
2. "What's up with this sudden obsession with Jakes physique? He shoots me a look that asks: Is he measuring me for a coffin?"
Author: Huntley Fitzpatrick
3. "The Universal Turtle VerseI spend the day nibbling rent-freeUnderneath the Giving Tree.Me, Rirty Dat and Snerry JakeShow Runny Babbit how to makeUp verses. Then I lug my hump(Careful not to bump the Glump)Into the woods to trade a wordWith the argle-bargle bird:Nuthatch wisely recommends,Find out where the sidewalk ends."
Author: J. Patrick Lewis
4. "Hey, Mrs. Jakes, how come people can't afford new shoes or food, but they can still buy candy?" She smiled and waved him off. "Oh, people will always find a way to buy chocolate, Elliot. Chocolate is forever."
Author: Jack C. Monroe
5. "To be unforgiving is like to drink poison and wait for someone else to die!! Rev. TD Jakes (have I said how much I love ya!)"
Author: T.D. Jakes
6. "Thou whoreson zed! Thou unnecessary letter! My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with him. *all cheer for Shakespearean insults*"
Author: William Shakespeare

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Today's Quote

She gritted her teeth. The man dances like a clod. I'd rather dance with Mr Jenkins, who can barely move."
Author: A.F. Stewart

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