Top Jokes Not Being Funny Quotes

Browse top 19 famous quotes and sayings about Jokes Not Being Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Jokes Not Being Funny Quotes

1. "If I'm serious about patients and their GPs being able to have more control of their health care, I can't have a top-down system that imposes restrictions on the services they need."
Author: Andrew Lansley
2. "Instead of being taught independence, energy, and enterprise, our youth today is taught to look for security."
Author: B. Carroll Reece
3. "What's the most significant barrier to creativity and innovation? Kevin thought about it for a minute and said, "I don't know if it has a name, but honestly, it's the fear of introducing an idea and being ridiculed, laughed at, and belittled."
Author: Brené Brown
4. "I majored in illustration at the Rhode Island School of Design, although I never had any intention of being an illustrator and didn't take any classes in illustration there. It was just that the illustration degree had no requirements."
Author: Brian Selznick
5. "I never feel weird about being the main character in the nontransferable, nonexistent movie of my life. That's totally fine. What makes me nervous is a growing suspicion that this movie is fucked up and devoid of meaning. The auteur is a nihilist."
Author: Chuck Klosterman
6. "My dad's era believed that there was something noble in being a good guy - the kind of guy that lived straight and narrow, told the truth, and stood up for what he believed was right."
Author: Dean Norris
7. "Your essays spoke of beauty, of love, of light and darkness, of joy and sorrow, and of the goodness of life. They were wonderful compositions. I have seldom read any that have touched me more.To thank you and your teacher Mrs. Ellis, I am sending you what I think is one of the most beautiful and miraculous things in the world—an egg. I have a goose named Felicity and she lays about forty eggs every spring. It takes her almost three months to accomplish this. Each egg is a perfect thing. I am mailing you one of Felicity's eggs. The insides have been removed—blown out—so the egg should last forever. I hope you will enjoy seeing this great egg and loving it. Thank you for sending me your essays about being somebody. I was pleased that so many of you felt the beauty and goodness of the world. If we feel that when we are young, then there is great hope for us when we grow older."
Author: E.B. White
8. "To die is as if one's eyes had been put out and one cannot see anything any more. Perhaps it is like being shut in a cellar. One is abandoned by all. They have slammed the door and are gone. One does not see anything and notices only the damp smell of putrefaction."
Author: Edvard Munch
9. "Men and the pursuit of them are strongly intertwined with my mental health. I would say, in my defensive defense, that the problem with being a serial monogamist is, there isn't anybody random or unimportant: everybody you sleep with really means something, which is to say each of them is on your public record. At some point I wake up thinking, Fuck this! I don't want another man in my bed ever again. What I really want is a cat."
Author: Emma Forrest
10. "Generations of women have sacrificed their lives to become their mothers. But we do not have that luxury any more. The world has changed too much to let us have the lives our mothers had. And we can no longer afford the guilt we feel at not being our mothers. We cannot afford any guilt that pulls us back to the past. We have to grow up, whether we want to or not. We have to stop blaming men and mothers and seize every second of our lives with passion. We can no longer afford to waste our creativity. We cannot afford spiritual laziness."
Author: Erica Jong
11. "I love people, and I love to be with people and to make music with people, but my natural state is to revert back to being by myself in my house, which is cool because that's where I practice and write and listen and study."
Author: Esperanza Spalding
12. "Nothing would bother me more than if they found me strange at the office. I like to revel in the irony that they don't find me at all strange. I like the hair shirt of being regarded by them as their equal. I like the crucifixion of being considered no different. THere are martyrdoms more subtle than those recorded for the saints and hermits. There are torments of our mental awareness as there are of the body and of desire. And in the former, as in the latter, there's a certain sensuality....."
Author: Fernando Pessoa
13. "I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very possibility. As for the danger and risk taking, that's what Pete pays me to do. And you and I both know he inteneds to get his money's worth."Jasmine, I cannot-"Why not!"Because you are not food!"I stared at him for a minute; the I started to grin. I couldn't help it.Vayl"-I tried to keep my face straight- "I'm not asking you to eat me."
Author: Jennifer Rardin
14. "Vampirism: (n) 1. The condition of being a vampire, marked by the need to ingestblood and extreme vulnerability to sunlight. 2. The act of preying upon others forfinancial or emotional gain. 3. A gigantic pain in the butt."
Author: Molly Harper
15. "He ran his nose along my jaw, breathing on me. "We're friends, right? This is going well, don't you think?" The man was demented . "By what criteria are we judging it? If going well means we've both lost our ever-loving minds, then yes, I guess it's going well?! If we're basing it on us being just friends, we're failing epically." He pulled back from me and grinned."
Author: R.K. Lilley
16. "Do unto others…' is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that's exactly what it is - a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I'm good. I just don't believe I'll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It's knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that's where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. ‘Do this or you'll burn in hell.' You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway."
Author: Ricky Gervais
17. "Being spontaneous at times is a must. Being spontaneous all the time is a crazy person."
Author: Ryan Hansen
18. "At some point, I figured that it would be more effective and far funnier to embrace the ugliest, most terrifying things in the world--the Holocaust, racism, rape, et cetera. But for the sake of comedy, and the comedian's personal sanity, this requires a certain emotional distance. It's akin to being a shrink or a social worker. you might think that the most sensitive, empathetic person would make the best social worker, but that person would end up being soup on the floor. It really takes someone strong--someone, dare I say, with a big fat wall up--to work in a pool of heartbreak all day and not want to fucking kill yourself. But adopting a persona at once ignorant and arrogant allowed me to say what I didn't mean, even preach the opposite of what I believed. For me, it was a funny way to be sincere. And like the jokes in a roast, the hope is that the genuine sentiment--maybe even a goodness underneath the joke (however brutal) transcends."
Author: Sarah Silverman
19. "I think what's really the most ideal thing is for the player themselves, within their own imagination, to carve out what they view as being the essence of the character."
Author: Shigeru Miyamoto

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Maybe all young men who love us become knights in shining armor when we love them back."
Author: Cameron Dokey

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