Just Kidding Quotes

1. "I launched into a graceful ninja-like front roll, then stood my ground to face the monstrous heathen, fearless in my determination to vanquish the deadly foe. Nah, just kidding. I bolted, discretion being the better part of not getting dead."
Author: AandE Kirk

2. "I don't use the computer. But my secretary does. I want to take some computer courses because I'm interested in some of the access to some of the illegal things on the Internet. I'm just kidding."
Author: Ahmet Ertegun

3. "How about I take you to my studio? Much less dangerous. Plus, I need a model and you could sit for me.""You want me to sit for a portrait?" I asked stunned."Actually, at the moment I'm concentrating on full-length nudes, in the spirit of Modigliani," Jules said. He was making an effort to keep a straight face. "Just kidding, Kates. You're a lady."Jules was trying the guilt-trip method of attack. And it was working."Ok I'll pose for you," I conceded. "But under no circumstances will any article of clothing leave my body whilst I am in your studio.""And if you're elsewhere?" he asked, breaking into a sly smile.I rolled my eyes."
Author: Amy Plum

4. "I saw a picture of you and Vincent in a 1968 newspaper that said you died in a fire," I said, turning to Ambrose.He nodded at me with a little smile, urging me on."So how can you be here now?""Well, I'm glad we're starting with the easy questions," he said, stretching his powerful arms and then leaning toward me. "The answer would be ... because we're zombies!" and he let out a horrible groan, stretching his mouth open and baring his teeth as he curled his hands into claws. Seeing my terrified expression, Ambrose began cracking up and slapping his knee with his hand. "Just kidding," he cackled, and then, calming down, looked at me sedately. "But no, seriously. We're zombies.""We are not zombies!" said Charlotte, her voice rising with annoyance."
Author: Amy Plum

5. "I should have guessed you were Jace's sister," he said. "You both have the same artistic talent."Clary paused, her foot on the lowest stair. She was taken aback. "Jace can draw?"Nah." When Alec smiled, his eyes lit like blue lamps and Clary could see what Magnus had found so captivating about him. "I was just kidding. He can't draw a straight line."
Author: Cassandra Clare

6. "I don't define success by how much money someone makes. I don't define success by how many trophies or plaques or awards someone has.I don't define it by membership in exclusive clubs or the ability to name-drop about someone's famous friends.I don't define it by how many luxury cars or opulent homes someone might own or how many sumptuous vacations they might taken in exotic locales all over the globe.I don't define success...oh, hell, I'm just kidding. Actually, all that stuff is fantastic!"
Author: Celia Rivenbark

7. "This quote will self-destruct in....4....3....2...1...Just kidding...Or am I?"
Author: Craig Benzine

8. "I'm turning fifty, and it is just now dawning on me that I have limited time," Nash said. "No kidding. I always felt my life was circumscribed by the finite terms, you know? There is a whole world of things I missed out on and will never experience. Whatever I have done, there is an endless amount I have not done. Do you know what that tells me?"..."It tells me it is not meant to be this all-encompassing journey. It is not meant to be catholic or encyclopedic. By now I have carved some grooves in this life. A few. What I need to do is hunker down and make those grooves deep and indelible."
Author: Dana Spiotta

9. "Spread those what? Cheeks? Legs? Lies? Rumors? Okay, I was just kidding myself with those last two."
Author: Dani Alexander

10. "Me: just don't ask about his forty-three ex-boyfriends, okay? or ask him about why he's carrying around an axe.mom:...me: i'm kidding about the axe part."
Author: David Levithan

11. "Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word."
Author: David Nicholls

12. "- Got us a full moon too coming tomorrow night. Just make things a whole lot worse. All we need.- Why is that?- What's that, Marshal?- The full moon. You think it makes people crazy?- I know it does.- Found a wrinkle in one of the pages and used his index finger to smooth it out.- How come?- Well, you think about it—the moon affects the tide, right?- Sure.- Has some sort of magnet effect or something on water.- I'll buy that.- Human brain,- Trey said, - is over fifty percent water.- No kidding?- No kidding. You figure ol' Mr. Moon can jerk the ocean around, think what it can do to the head."
Author: Dennis Lehane

13. "No. Wait. When will I see you again?" she asked. "How will I find you?""Well, you don't have to stand on the end of a diving board."Ivy smiled."The end of a tree limb will do," he said. "Or the roof of any building three stories or higher.""What?""Just kidding," he said, laughing. "Just call--anytime, anywhere, silently--and I'll hear you. If I don't come, it's because I'm in the middle of something that I can't stop, or I'm in the darkness. I can't control the darkness." He sighed. "I can feel it coming on--I can feel it right now--and I can fight it off for a while. But in the end I fall unconscious. It's how I rest. I guess one day the darkness will be final.""No!""Yes, love," he said softly.A moment later he was gone."
Author: Elizabeth Chandler

14. "The defendant removed his gloves and started toward the victim. Mr. Farley, still teasing, said: "Ooo, he's taking his gloves off." The defendant then pulled a knife from his pocket and stabbed the victim in the neck. He also stabbed Mr. Farley in the arm as he fell to the floor. Mr. Farley looked up and cried: "Man, I was just kidding around." The defendant responded: "Well, man, you should have never hit me in my face."
Author: Franklin Cleckley

15. "In 1998, I received treatment for my knee by an Israeli therapist. We spoke about Israel and I mentioned 'Scooterman' and he just froze. It was like he had met Elvis. I thought he was kidding me and then he called his brother, they yelled to each other over the phone, and then I believed him."
Author: Gary David Goldberg

16. "Green Lantern: "What are your powers anyway? You can't fly."Batman: "No."Green Lantern: "Super-strength?"Batman: "No."Green Lantern: "Hold on a second... You're not just some guy in a bat costume, are you? Are you freaking kidding me?!"
Author: Geoff Johns

17. "I've never met a girl who thinks like you.""A lot of people tell me that," she said, digging at a cuticle. "But it's the only way I know how to think. Seriously. I'm just telling you what I believe. It's never crossed my mind that my way of thinking is different from other people's. I'm not trying to be different. But when I speak out honestly, everybody thinks I'm kidding or playacting. When that happens, I feel like everything is such a pain!"
Author: Haruki Murakami

18. "Then I started reading this timetable I had in my pocket. Just to stop lying. Once I getstarted, I can go for hours if I feel like it. No kidding. Hours."
Author: J.D. Salinger

19. "Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here's a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical, or you could buy 101 copies of my .99 cents ebook. Just kidding—I didn't mean to imply that buying 101 copies of my book was impractical."
Author: Jarod Kintz

20. "Nick ran smack into me."Ooof!" he hollered, grabbing me around the waist to keep me from falling down the rest of the staircase.That's when I realized Mom thought Nick and I were going on a date together.Quickly Nick let me go.He looked huge, frowning down at me from the step above. "Why are you stopping in the middle of the stairs?""Why are you tailgating me?"He put his hand behind me, at butt level, without touching me. "What is that?" he demanded.I bent a little and slapped my butt, "Something the heir to a meat fortune should know all about. USDA grade-A prime,baby." I straightened. "Just kidding. Really, it's my butt."He put his hands on his hips, and from below I noticed his strong superhero chin again.He grumbled, "Why do you have 'boy toy' written across your butt?""Oh!" I put my hand over the words, realizing that I probably should have been embarrassed about this sooner. "These are my brother's jeans. He wrote it to annoy me. Or to get me a date."
Author: Jennifer Echols

21. "This is really good," Donovan Caine said, attacking his third strawberry pancake. "You sound surprised," I said. He shrugged. "I just didn't think an assassin would be able to cook like this." "Well, I do get lots of practice with knives. You could say I'm multitasking." The detective froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. "I'm kidding. I enjoy cooking. It relaxes me."
Author: Jennifer Estep

22. "There were some situations where I was giving up everything I had for the band and I just expected everybody else to feel the same way. I realized I was just kidding myself."
Author: Jerry Only

23. "I'm keeping a list of Mr. Wrongs going for you. This one might not make it to the weekend's auction.""Stop," said another woman."I'm just kidding.""I still vote we strip him down." This was a third woman.Wait. Three women? Had he died and gone to orgy heaven? Awake now, Ty took stock. He wasn't dead. And he had no idea who the fuck Mr. Wrong was, but he was very much "going to make it." He was stuffed in the back of a car, a small car, his bad leg cramping like a son-of-a-bitch. His head was pillowed on...he shifted to try to figure it out, and pain lanced straight through his eyeballs. He licked dry lips and tried to focus. "I'm okay.""Good," one of them repeated with humor. "He's fine, he's okay. He's also bleeding like a stuck pig. Men are ridiculous."-Ty and the Chocoholics ladies"
Author: Jill Shalvis

24. "This is Poyo. Poyo was exposed to a near-lethal amount of radiation as an egg, during the first stages of a government experiment to create mutant super soldiers--trained in exotic martial arts technique by Tibetan Kung Fu fightin' monks--and given strange bio-enhancements during a rash of farm animal abductions by extra-terrestrials. Nah, just kidding. None of that shit is true. Poyo is just really, really bad ass."
Author: John Layman

25. "Just kidding, I've been very athletic all my life."
Author: Kiana Tom

26. "Any other iron on you?" he asked impatiently."Just my tongue stud."His look was a mixture of curiosity and horror."I'm kidding, you idiot. Let's go."
Author: Kiersten White

27. "She stared at his sharp teeth and swallowed the lumpthat formed in her throat. "Um, you look scary when youshow your…uh…teeth. They look really sharp."He didn't get angry. In fact, her words seemed toamuse him greatly. "The better to eat you with," heteased softly.Tammy's heart flipped inside her chest. "That's a badjoke, right? Please tell me you're just kidding.""I'm not a wolf.""I'm not wearing red.""I still want to eat you."
Author: Laurann Dohner

28. "I'm just really glad to hear that things are going well.""Wait, you're not getting ready to hang up on me, are you?" he asks. "We've only been talking for a couple minutes.""Well, I don't really have much else to say.""Are you kidding? The possibilities are endless. For starters, you could tell me that you'll call me again. Or, better yet, you could ask me out for coffee or a slice of pizza. Of course, letting me know that I can call you whenever I want is always a good possibility. Or, if you're feeling really generous, you could tell me that you miss me, too. I mean, I wouldn't even care if it was a lie."
Author: Laurie Faria Stolarz

29. "A lot of teenagers write to me and say "I want to write a book. I want to get published." And those are two very different things. For the first one, that you want to write a book, I think is an excellent idea and you should totally do that because teenagers who want to write, you should be writing. You should be writing all the time like a maniac. Don't worry about the second bit, just yet because A. You need a lot of practice. You need to do it for, I'm not kidding, years. And then once you are published, it's a business. It's a job. Plus, every author I know was that teenager who sat in their room and read and wrote. That's who becomes an author, but that's what you have to do for a while before you become an author."
Author: Maureen Johnson

30. "Tell them you're pregnant with a married minister's baby, then say, "Just kidding! I'm a vampire,'" she suggested."
Author: Molly Harper

31. "Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal."
Author: Nancy Cartwright

32. "From behind her back, Sarah brought out a set of Matchbox cars, which she handed to Jonah."What's this for?" He asked."I just wanted you to have something to play with while you're here," she said. "Do you like them?"He stared at the box. "This is great! Dad . . . look." He held the box in the air."I see that. Did you say thanks?""Thank you, Miss Andrews.""You're welcome."As soon as Miles approached, Sarah stood again and greeted him with a kiss. "I was just kidding, you know. You look nice, too. I'm not used to seeing you wearing a jacket and tie in the middle of the afternoon." She fingered his lapel slightly. "I could get used to this.""Thank you, Miss Andrews," he said, mimicking his son."
Author: Nicholas Sparks

33. "Normal life is nuts. It's a downhill deterioration to death no matter how you spice it along the way, and there's nothing you can do about it. Now, a sane person, when faced when that, would just plunk his ass down at the starting line, or wherever along the way this realization finally came to him, and say, "Are you kidding? I quit. I'll slide the rest of the way or sit here and smoke." It takes a true lunatic, or someone functioning with the critical apparatus of a worker bee, to keep scrabbling up that hill when he knows his destiny is dust. But that us what is required. Go on."
Author: Norah Vincent

34. "Then at the top of the hill, the road forks.Which just figures."You gotta be kidding." I say.One part of the road goes left, the other goes right.(Well, it's a "Fork" ain't it?)"
Author: Patrick Ness

35. "Doesn't he look just like a ring wraith?" she said thoughtfully. "Are you kidding?" replied Cathy, "I most certainly won't be carol singing at your door this Christmas if you've got one of those ugly things hanging on it!" "No, from Lord of the Rings," said Sue impatiently. "I'm sorry," snorted Cathy, "I don't watch pornographic material." "Have you never read a book?!" Sue snapped. "It's about a small man who travels through dangerous lands to drop a ring into a volcano, it's a classic." "Does sound like a small man," she replied, "can't even face his marriage problems full on."
Author: Paul Baxter

36. "At first I thought you were just using me" she said"I definitely am." I just wasn't sure for what."Asshole!" she said, and punched me in the side. And she laughed as my kidney began to hemorrhage.That's the beauty of honesty. Everyones so unused to hearing it they just assume you're kidding, and you get to feel very good and forthcoming without suffering any consequences except for traces of blood in your urine for the next day or two."
Author: Paul Neilan

37. "Honey, I've watched a lot of 90210. The parents weren't even on the show once Brandon and Brenda went to college. This is your time - you're supposed to going to frat parties and getting back together with Dylan.""Why does everybody want me to go to frat parties?""Who wants you to go to frat parties? I was just kidding. Don't hang out with frat guys, Cath, they're terrible. All they do is get drunk and watch 90210."
Author: Rainbow Rowell

38. "Honestly, half the reason I like you is because you're so...I don't know. You like life." He looked away from my eyes, amused as his thoughts spun, considering. "You're fearless. Bold. Not afraid to enjoy yourself. You just go out there and do what you want. I like the whirlwind you exist in. I envy it. It's funny, really." He smiled. "I used to think I wanted someone exactly like me, but now I think I'd be bored to death with another version of myself. I'm surprised I don't bore you sometimes."I gaped. "Are you kidding? You're the most interesting person I know. Aside from Hugh maybe. But then, he installs breast implants and buys souls. That's a hard combination to beat. But he's not nearly as cute."
Author: Richelle Mead

39. "Question (from a reader) : Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus?Athena's answer : What an interesting idea . . . No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt."
Author: Rick Riordan

40. "Asshole." "Just for that, I expect you to wrap that dirty mouth of yours around my cock tonight." He narrowed his eyes on me.I couldn't believe he'd just said that to me in a fancy restaurant where anyone might overhear. "Are you kidding?" "Babe," he gave me a look that suggested I was missing the obvious, "I never kid about blowjobs."Our waiter had descended on us just in time to hear those romantic words and his rosy cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. "Ready to order?" he croaked out."Yes," Braden answered, obviously uncaring he'd been overhead. "I'll have the steak, medium-rare." He smiled softly at me. "What are you having?" He took a swig of water. He thought he was so cool and funny. "Apparently sausage." Braden choked on the water, coughing into his fists, his eyes bright with mirth as he put his glass back on the table. "Are you okay, sir?" The waiter asked anxiously. "I'm fine, I'm fine."
Author: Samantha Young

41. "Hey, just be grateful I'm old. When an Arcadian first starts time-walking, we only have about a three percent chance of success. I once ended up on Pluto. (Sebastian)Are you serious? (Channon)They're not kidding about it being the coldest planet. (Sebastian)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

42. "Hey police? I just saw the world's oldest, slowest kid climbing into Pleasantview Cemetery. Looked like he was dying to get in. Yeah, looked like a grave matter to me. Kidding? Oh no, I'm in dead earnest. Maybe you ought to dig into it."
Author: Stephen King

43. "Misa: Hey, Light. Wanna come sleep with me tonight?Light: Wh-what are you talking about…?Misa: Ha ha ha! Just kidding! You're saving me for after we catch Kira, right? You don't have to be shy about it!L: Yes, Light. There's no need to be shy.Light: I'm not being shy!L: No need to be so serious either"
Author: Tsugumi Ohba

Just Kidding Quotes Pictures