Lifeguards Quotes

1. "San Quentin's is the safest beach in the world. We're not talking about lifeguards here who might yell at someone who's being rude-we're talking about armed guards, in watchtowers, two blocks away."
Author: Anne Lamott

2. "Subjecting oneself to a great work of art stings the pride of autonomy. Familiarization calls for a throbbing concentration on background techniques – the ways of nature, society, culture; observing life becomes the sacrifice of it. Laughing at masterpieces and lachrymose towards practicality, the man impervious to beauty drinks his saliva and cries into soup bowls – his body the source of all vital nourishment. Tea and toast he saves for his superiors, serving his way to a house with a swimming pool filled from his ducts. The high saline content making lifeguards unnecessary, his only child is one day found floating the wrong side up. In despondency the man turns to a seascape by Turner. Surely, God must have been a little sad to shed such a vast thimbleful of creation and sigh so many waves. The man feels akin to Turner's fisherman with his lantern – a maritime Diogenes searching for an honest sublimity."
Author: Bauvard

3. "It was here, at the threshold of our flat earth, that the ultimate enigma of land, sea and sky all fused against me in the omega point of the female fashion statement; an essence distracted the lifeguards which, in escaping me, threatened to implode my self and my soul (a totality which, yet again, I could not comprehend)."
Author: Benson Bruno

4. "By the way, don't thank me for saving you, thank the lifeguards. If it was up to me, I would've just carried you off to the building by the boardwalk that said SURGERY. I'm sorry, but there's a big difference between a family doctor treating you for the sniffles, and a guy who actually owns and knows how to use an operating table."
Author: Elle Lothlorien

5. "As long as a population can be induced to believe in a supernatural hereafter, it can be oppressed and controlled. People will put up with all sorts of tyranny, poverty, and painful treatment if they're convinced that they'll eventually escape to some resort in the sky where lifeguards are superfluous and the pool never closes. Moreover, the faithful are usually willing to risk their skins in whatever military adventure their government may currently be promoting."
Author: Tom Robbins

Lifeguards Quotes Pictures