Monkey Quotes

1. "I jumped out of the way and Monique skidded across the floor like a drunk monkey on a skateboard and landed face-first in the puke. I hoped that popping sound was just the button on her halter top and not an imploded implant. That was a mess I wasn't about to clean up."
Author: Barbra Annino

2. "I'm in a secret underground hideout of a group of monster hunters, filled with magical totems, brass monkeys that move and enough firepower to take over a small country."
Author: Bill Blais

3. "He had full opportunity to learn the falsity of the maxim that the Prince of Darkness is a gentleman. Again and again he felt that a suave and subtle Mephistopheles with a red cloak and rapier and a feather in his cap or even a sombre tragic Satan out of Paradise Lost would have been a welcome release from the thing he was actually doomed to watch. It was not like dealing with a wicked politician at all, it was much more like being set to guard an imbecile or a monkey or a very nasty child."
Author: C.S. Lewis

4. "People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots."
Author: Carlos Ruiz Zafón

5. "Stevie: "If you think he's a lecher and all men are disgusting, why do you want me to date?"Zena: "Because, Stevie. Now and then, when the moon is full and bluish, when the galaxy is all calm and peaceful and serenity rules and even the falling stars are falling gracefully, and the wind creates a beautiful song, that's when you find one outstanding man. Kind. Loyal. Funny and smart, great in bed but not kinky. A lover in his head and in his body. A man who doesn't think as a dick-obsessed monkey with a brain the size of a testicle, but one who is thoughtful and can hold his emotions in one hand and hug you close with the other. A man who is a hunky, manly man but who can talk to you like your best girlfriend, because that's what he wants to be for you. Your best friend."(Page 44)"
Author: Cathy Lamb

6. "I love it here in Boston and I love studying medicine. Butit's not home. Dublin is home. Being back with you felt like home. I miss mybest friend.I've met some great guys here, but I didn't grow up with any of themplaying cops and robbers in my back garden. I don't feel like they are realfriends. I haven't kicked them in the shins, stayed up all night on Santawatch with them, hung from trees pretending to be monkeys, played hotel,or laughed my heart out as their stomachs were pumped. It's kind of hard tobeat that."
Author: Cecelia Ahern

7. "If God didn't mean for us to use drugs, It would never have made us such curious monkeys, nor given us so many interesting vegetables."
Author: Charles L. Smith

8. "My Master of Arts degree means nothing at all to these monkeys and I have come to share their indifference."
Author: Charles Portis

9. "Suddenly, I developed an acute case of Tourette's syndrome, "Fuck! That fucking-shit-son-of-an-ass-monkey-dick-weasel!"
Author: Christine Zolendz

10. "The rather uncomfortable feeling most of us have when we're around snakes is evidence of how this ancient experience continues to influence us today. Throughout the long prehistory of our species and those that preceded it, snakes were a mortal threat. And so we learned our lesson. Others didn't, but that had a nasty habit of dying. So natural selection did its work and the rule--beware of snakes--was ultimately hardwired into every human brain. It's universal. Go anywhere on the planet, examine any culture. People are wary of snakes. Even if--as in the Arctic--there are no snakes. Our primate cousins shared our long experience and they feel the same way: Even monkeys raised in laboratories who have never seen a snake will back away at the sight of one."
Author: Daniel Gardner

11. "Our society spends a lot of money on prison bars. For the sake of our kids, let's invest in monkey bars."
Author: Darell Hammond

12. "ISOLATION DOES STRANGE THINGS to a person's mind. This is true for any social creature, human or otherwise. Monkeys taken from their mothers at birth, placed alone in stainless-steel chambers, and deprived of contact with other animals ("human and subhuman" alike, according to the researchers), develop irreversible mental illnesses. As one of the experts in this field, Harry Harlow, put it: "sufficiently severe and enduring social isolation reduces these animals to a social-emotional level in which the primary social responsiveness is fear."
Author: Derrick Jensen

13. "Benedicto: May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you -- beyond that next turning of the canyon walls."
Author: Edward Abbey

14. "Poetry, it is often said and loudly so, is life's true mirror. But a monkey looking into a work of literature looks in vain for Socrates."
Author: Franz Grillparzer

15. "...and the cries of the birds and the uproar of the monkeys became more and more remote, and the world became eternally sad. The men on the expedition felt overwhelmed by their most ancient memories in that paradise of dampness and silence, going back to before original sin, as their boots sank into pools of steaming oil and their machetes destroyed bloody lilies and golden salamanders."
Author: Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

16. "Your own space, man, it's so important. That's why we were doomed because we didn't have any. It is like monkeys in a zoo. They die. You know, everything needs to be left alone."
Author: George Harrison

17. "I won't blame Nick. I don't blame Nick. I refuse - refuse! - to turn into some pert-mouthed, strident angry-girl. I made two promises to myself when I married Nick. One: no dancing-monkey demands. Two: I would never, ever say, Sure, that's fine by me (if you want to stay out later, if you want to do a boys' weekend, if you want to do something you want to do) and then punish him for doing what I said was fine by me. I worry I am coming perilously close to violating both of those promises."
Author: Gillian Flynn

18. "So once the zookeeper realized it was the monkeys who stole the bananas, he knew there was only one way he'd be able to get them back.""How?" I whispered. My throat was so sore."Don't talk. He had to beat them in shuffleboard, of course.""What?""I said don't talk. Monkeys love shuffleboard."He used a page from a homework assignment he'd failed and a stack of quarters to make a shuffleboard court. I watched the monkeys and the zookeepers have their showdown while I sipped the last of my applejuice."Need more?" Graham asked me without looking up, when my straw skidded against the dry bottom of the box."Uh uh.""You're supposed to drink juice.""I just drank some.""More, though."I shook my head."Drink more juice or the monkeys are going to kill you. The only thing they love more than shuffleboard is beating up dehydrated sick boys."
Author: Hannah Moskowitz

19. "Because if you make me do that, I will make a stink that you'll never get off your shiny suits. I will sue the network. I will sue the studio. I will sue each one of you personally. I will send our beloved sponsors blogs that claim you' - she pointed to the white man and the black man - 'enjoy having monkey sex on the office furniture while she' - now she pointed to the Asian woman - 'likes to watch and spank herself. Is it true? Well, it will be in a blog. Several blogs, in fact. Then I'll go to other computers and add comments, stuff like Montague likes it rough or with toy or small farm animals. Get PETA on your ass. Then I'll send those blogs to your families. Do you get the drift?"
Author: Harlan Coben

20. "The poor monkey, quietly seated on the ground, seemed to be in sore trouble at this display of anger."
Author: Henry Walter Bates

21. "See what monkeys we are! Look, such is man!" and at once all renown, all intelligence, all the attainments of the spirit, all progress towards the sublime, the great and the enduring in man fell away and became a monkey's trick!"
Author: Hermann Hesse

22. "If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys."
Author: James Goldsmith

23. "Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel.'That's my boy,' Diesel said."
Author: Janet Evanovich

24. "To me, its just a word, a word whose power is owned by the user and his or her intention. People give words power, so banning a word is futile, really. 'Nigga' becomes 'porch monkey' becomes 'coon' and so on if that's what's in a person's heart. They key is to change the person. And we change people through conversation, not through censorship."
Author: Jay Z

25. "He seemed to savor telling the story, as if he'd memorized its details especially for her: how three or four days after she and Lulu had left the general's redoubt, the photographers began showing up, first one or two whom the soldiers ferreted out of the jungle and imprisoned, then more, too many to capture or even count-they were superb hiders, crouching like monkeys in the trees, burying themselves i shallow pits camouflaging inside bunches of leaves. Assassins has never managed to locate the general with any precision, but the photographers made it look easy: scores of them surging across the border without visas, curled in baskets and wine casks, rolled up in rugs, juddering over unpaved roads in the backs of trucks and eventually surrounding the general's enclave, which he didn't dare leave."
Author: Jennifer Egan

26. "A misfit like me getting anywhere in Hollywood as I somehow have, seemed, certainly at the time of 'Spanking The Monkey,' kind of out of reach, or not a very realistic take."
Author: Jeremy Davies

27. "It took a freaking genius to put this together, Michael."I hefted my staff."Fortunately," I said, and took a two-handed swing at the nearest stand of slender, delicate crystal. It shattered with gratifying ease, and the encasing light around the greater circle began to waver and dissipate. "It only takes a monkey with a big stick to take it apart."
Author: Jim Butcher

28. "How about Vonnegut?" I have read the complete works of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., to date. Some of it I have read standing up in Lears bookshop in Cardiff. God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater is very strange, but Cat's Cradle is one of the best things I've ever read. "Oh yes," I said. "What Vonnegut?" "All of it," I said, confidently. "Cat's Cradle?" "Breakfast of Champions, Welcome to the Monkey House…" I reeled off the titles. He was smiling. He looked pleased. My reading has been solace and addiction but nobody has been pleased with me for it before. "How about The Sirens of Titan?" he asked, as I wound down. I shook my head. "I've never heard of it!" He set down his drink, bent down and got the book, hardly looking at the shelves, and added it to my pile. "How about Zenna Henderson?"
Author: Jo Walton

29. "The monkeys seized all the cocoanuts within their reach and sent them down upon us"
Author: Johann David Wyss

30. "Is it a democratic society that condemns people to the accident of conception? What are we-monkeys? If you expect people to be responsible for their children, you have to give them the right to choose whether or not to have children. What are you people thinking of? You're not only crazy! You're ogres!"
Author: John Irving

31. "A group of winged monkeys threw it at me." Ariella crossed her arms and glared, and I had an odd moment of déjà vu. "On my last watch, we passed an orchard on the banks, and there were at least a dozen monkeys living there, staring down at us. I threw a rock at them and they...threw things back. And not just food items, either." She blushed with embarrassment and glowered, daring me to laugh. "So you'd better eat that before I stuff something else down your throat, and it won't be a banana."
Author: Julie Kagawa

32. "The feelings I had for my sister were jumbled together, like the monkeys in a barrel game we'd had as children. All the brightly colored monkeys with their curved arms tangled and entwined, so convoluted that it was almost impossible to separate them."
Author: Karen White

33. "Trina stared into her open kitchen cabinets. She was two and a half days into her pre-date-night ritual fast, and she was about to crack. Technically, she wasn't going out on a date Saturday night, but Juliet was determined to have a man in her bed by the end of the evening. To be honest, Trina wasn't really looking forward to tomorrow night's manhunt. Sure, she was desperate for some hot monkey sex, but the thought of a one-night-stand was quickly losing its appeal. She wanted more than just plain, old sex. She wanted romance -- preferably with someone for whom she didn't have to fast for three days to attract."
Author: Lucie Simone

34. "Then she (Queen Christina) stood with the Prince and grinned like a monkey and waved like a fucked-up prom queen while about a thousand flashbulb went off in her face."
Author: MaryJanice Davidson

35. "So" Noah said carefully. I was sitting up cross-legged and tangled in my sheets."so" I said backWould you like to hear about Curious George's new adventures?I shook my head.Are you sure? Noah asked. "he's been such a naughty monkey"Pass."
Author: Michelle Hodkin

36. "I wonder if it would be unethical for me to turn James Marsters? And then force him to fake the Cockney accent? And then make him my love monkey?"
Author: Molly Harper

37. "Long middle finger resembling a twig that it could use for probing for grubs. There is a telling example of convergent evolution when an unrelated species (the Long-Fingered Possum from Papua New Guinea) devised a similar strategy to address the same problem. (Douglas was very intrigued by the implications of convergence. What need is there to posit a designer if the operation of random forces, constrained by the reality of the world, produces the same elegant solution, as if there were no choice in the matter?) We monkeys have"
Author: Nick Webb

38. "I looked into studying psychoanalysis, wrote to the governing body and was about to start the year where they psychoanalyse you, four times a week, before you get to do it yourself. I just thought I'd taken the ventriloquism as far as I could. My act is so deconstructive, and I'd made all the monkey jokes anyone wanted to hear."
Author: Nina Conti

39. "And out of a desire essentially to imitate what I was reading, I began to write, like a clever monkey."
Author: Russell Banks

40. "Hairy monkeyballs!" I hiss. "Dogshit on a stick! Puke pancakes!" A head pokes in. Wren, green eyes smiling, walks over to my bed."I knew you were awake. Who else spews such original and captivating swears?"
Author: Sara Wolf

41. "Mrs. Francis, may I introduce the Scourge of the Skies, the Terror of Dairy Farmers, the Lord of Lactose, Master of the Cheese Pirates of Snow Monkey Island, Captain Cheesebeard."
Author: Seán Cullen

42. "Only a hundred years ago the idea that an order might arise without a personal Author appeared so nonsensical to you that it inspired seemingly absurd jokes, like the one about the pack of monkeys hammering away at typewriters until the Encyclopedia Britannica emerged. I recommend that you devote some of your free time to compiling an anthology of just such jokes, which amused your forebears as pure nonsense but now turn out to be parables of Nature."
Author: Stanisław Lem

43. "This could be your big ticket," he said. "You know what happens to you at art school?"I shook my head."All that good natural technique you have? All that detail? They'll beat it right out of you. They'll be so threatened by it, they'll make you start throwing paint at the canvas like a monkey. By the time you graduate, the only thing you'll be able to do is teach art to high school kids."Okay, I thought. I'm glad he's excited for me."On the plus side, you'll probably get laid a lot."I gave him a nod and a quick thumbs-up. He patted me on the shoulder and then left me alone."
Author: Steve Hamilton

44. "I was thirty years old before I had an actual thought. Everything up till then was either what Buddhists call "monkey-mind" chatter or the reflexive regurgitation of whatever my parents or teachers said, or whatever I saw on the news or read in a book, or heard somebody rap about, hanging around the street corner."
Author: Steven Pressfield

45. "If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?"
Author: Steven Wright

46. "Si! Today there was a report from scientists who have spent their entire lives studying chimpanzees and you know what they said? They said the monkeys are learning to make spears! They've never been able to make weapons before but now, now, all of a sudden they can!" She gave him an ominous look and took the lid off the pot of boiling water. "Mark my words, Giacomo. They're doing it for a reason. The next thing you know, they'll be coming after us.""Mmm. That will be bad.""Si, very bad." She threw the pasta into the pot. "But I will be ready for them."
Author: Suzanne Harper

47. "The show is over. The monkey's dead!"
Author: Tennessee Williams

48. "During the two months of our stay at Biarritz, my passion for Colette all but surpassed my passion for Cleopatra. Since my parents were not keen to meet hers, I saw her only on the beach; but I thought of her constantly. If I noticed she had been crying, I felt a surge of helpless anguish that brought tears to my own eyes. I could not destroy the mosquitoes that had left their bites on her frail neck, but I could, and did, have a successful fistfight with a red-haired boy who had been rude to her. She used to give me warm handfuls of hard candy. One day, as we were bending together over a starfish, and Colette's ringlets were tickling my ear, she suddenly turned toward me and kissed me on the cheek. So great was my emotion that all I could think of saying was, 'You little monkey."
Author: Vladimir Nabokov

49. "Wife indeed!" laughed Monkey. "You haven't got a wife now. There are some sorts of Taoists that are family men; but who ever heard of a Buddhist priest calmly talking about his 'wife'?"
Author: Wu Cheng'en

50. "... and I knew what I wanted: I would settle in a hill station and write my novel. I had visions of myself at a table on a large veranda, my notes spread out in front of me next to a steaming cup of tea. Green hills heavy with mists would lie at my feet and the shrill cries of monkeys would fill my ears. The weather would be just tight, requiring a light sweater mornings and evenings, and something short-sleeved midday. Thus set up, pen in hand, for the sake of greater truth, I would turn Portugal into a fiction. That's what fiction is about, isn't it, the selective transforming the reality? The twisting of it to bring out its essence? What need did I have to go to Portugal?"
Author: Yann Martel

Monkey Quotes Pictures