Napkin Quotes

1. "My mom would take me to restaurants, and the first thing I'd ask for would be a pen and a napkin, and I'd sketch shoes and shoes and shoes."
Author: Alexander Wang

2. "Nic's going to be an old maid," Michael said, giggling."What?" she snapped. "How do you even know what that means? You're like, four years old.""Mommy said it," Michael answered. Bernie coughed, nearly choking on her food as Peter and Xavier laughed into their napkins."
Author: Alexandra Adornetto

3. "A criminal sketch of Christon a diner napkin-'Poet Prophets"
Author: Amber Koneval

4. "So I pulled a gun on him and demanded his wallet."The soda in my mouth becomes the soda in my nose. "You had a gun?" I cough and sputter into my napkin.Mom's eyes go round and she pressed her finger to her lips, mouthing, "Shhh!""Where did you get a gun?" I hiss."Oliver lent it to me. He was always looking out for me. Told me to shoot first and run. He said the asking-questions-later part was for the police." She grins at my expression. "Does that earn me cool points?"I swirl a fry in the mound of ketchup on my plate. "You want cool points for pulling a gun on my father?" I say it with all the appropriate disdain and condescension it deserves, but deep down, we both know she gets mega cool points for it."Psh." She waves her hand. "I didn't even know whether or not it would fire. And anyway, he didn't hand me his wallet. He propositioned me instead.""Okay. Ew.""Not like that, you brat."
Author: Anna Banks

5. "What you need is a chick from Camden,' Van Patten says, after recovering from McDermott's statement.Oh great,' I say. 'Some chick who thinks it's okay to fuck her brother.'Yeah, but they think AIDS is a new band from England,' Price points out.Where's dinner?' Van Patten asks, absently studying the question scrawled on his napkin. 'Where the fuck are we going?'It's really funny that girls think guys are concerned with that, with diseases and stuff,' Van Patten says, shaking his head.I'm not gonna wear a fucking condom,' McDermott announces.I have read this article I've Xeroxed,' Van Patten says, 'and it says our chances of catching that are like zero zero zero zero point half a decimal percentage or something, and this no matter what kind of scumbag, slutbucket, horndog chick we end up boffing.'Guys just cannot get it.'Well, not white guys."
Author: Bret Easton Ellis

6. "I don't see how I could possibly move a napkin with the power of my mind," I say."All will be revealed." "Did you just say, 'All will be revealed'?"He looks up. "Yes.""Who says, 'All will be revealed'?""I do," Packard says. "Just perform the task."
Author: Carolyn Crane

7. " Dear Aunt Patty,Thank you for coming to be part of what definitely ranks in the top five worst days of my life. While your generosity is appreciated, I am returning this gift, as forced bachelorhood necessitates total abstinence from bamboo placemats and matching napkin rings in my daily life.Sincerely, Emory Too much?"
Author: Cary Attwell

8. "I have a question.""Yes?""Are we on a date?"I nearly choked on the sip of beer I'd just taken."For the love of God, woman, don't have a fit. I just wonder if you'd like to reestablish ground rules. Should we review our previous set?"I nodded, pressing a napkin to my lips and mumbling, "Sure."
Author: Christina Lauren

9. "Can you believe the man rhymed 'Rumplestiltskin' with 'crumpled napkins'?"
Author: Christopher Healy

10. "This is for all the people I'll never meet. This is for the person I might have kissed had I taken a different subway line on Saturday and the person I might have been if that boy hadn't broken my mother's teenage heart. This is for the people I would have loved if last winter hasn't been so cold and for the city I would have called home if I had written haikus on napkins and carried pens in dress pockets and in the knots of my hair. This is for who I was, who I am, who I might be. This is for you."
Author: Chuck Pulaski

11. "There's got to be a nasty or dangerous side to anything enjoyable or there's something wrong, something suspicious and hidden. If everything seems perfect, it means you're one of the Eloi and a Morlock is watching you with a napkin tucked under its chin."
Author: David Mitchell

12. "Luisa rolls her napkin into a compact ball. "I ask three simple questions. How did he get that power? How is he using it? And how can it be taken off the sonofabitch?"
Author: David Mitchell

13. "As Blake leaned down to accept her hug she whispered, "Remember when you and Livia tried to hog the spotlight at my wedding? Just when you and Livia get to the good part, Cole and I are going to have porno sex right there."She and John took one small step at a time. She was obviously much more concerned about tripping than Kyle had been. During her descent, Blake just looked. Her white gown fit her frame perfectly, and the strapless dress revealed the gentle, tempting curves of her shoulders. Her bouquet contained the paper-napkin roses he'd made for her, combined with baby's breath. A flowing train cascaded down the stairs behind Livia, and an even longer veil billowed in the gentle breeze like a blown wish."
Author: Debra Anastasia

14. "Mr Earbrass stands on the terrace at twilight. It is bleak; it is cold; and the virtue has gone out of everything. Words drift through his mind: anguish turnips conjunctions illness defeat string parties no parties urns desuetude disaffection claws loss Trebizond napkins shame stones distance fever Antipodes mush glaciers incoherence labels miasma amputation tides deceit mourning elsewards..."
Author: Edward Gorey

15. "AS THE heavy door shut behind him the cloud gradually lifted from the room. Rachel moved nervously to the table and began to wrap the leftover corn bread in a clean linen napkin. "Before I do another thing," she said, "I must take this to Widow Brown. She's still far too weak to fend for herself. Forgive me for leaving you, Katherine, but I'll be back in no time at all." "In no time," echoed Judith bitterly, as her mother hurried out into the foggy morning. "Just as soon as she's built up the fire and made gruel and tidied the whole cabin. With more than a day's work waiting here at home."
Author: Elizabeth George Speare

16. "... I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose ..."
Author: François Rabelais

17. "And how old are you, Miss Beckett?" "Seventeen." "What!" There is no way she's seventeen. I inspect her face, studying it intently, but don't know what it is I hope to find. Laugh lines maybe? She watches my face. "Is my age a problem for you?""Hell, yeah, seventeen is a problem." I throw my napkin on the table. All of this has been a waste. "Forget it all. This whole thing is off." "I don't act seventeen. I'm very mature for my age.""No way. You're not even old enough to be drinking that wine." I lean in and whisper so no one will overhear. "I'm almost twice your age." "I don't mind. I have daddy issues." She breaks into a huge grin and I hear a girlish giggle. That's when I realize she's fucking with me and has the ability to lie with a straight face. I'll have to remember that for future reference. I'm not amused. "I see I have a comedienne on my hands."
Author: Georgia Cates

18. "There, at the top of the table, alone amongst all these women, stooped over his ample plateful, with his napkin tied around his neck like a child, an old man sat eating, drips of gravy drbibbling gravy from him lips. His eyes were bloodshot and he had a little pigtail tied up with a black ribbon. This was the Marquis' father-in-law... he had led a... Read more tumultuous life of debauchery and duelling, of wagers made and women abducted, had squandered his fortune and terrified his whole family... Emma's eyes kept coming back to this old man with the sagging lips, as though to something wonderfully majestic. He had lived at court and slept in the bed of a queen!"
Author: Gustave Flaubert

19. "We still have your watch.You can have it back tonight.All you need to do is sneak up after dinner, set the tower, and flee the country. Agreed?Azalea burned with embarrassment as Bramble folded the napkin around the pencil and passed it to Lord Bradford with the rolls. Lord Bradford took it and unfolded it in his lap.His dark eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. Then he folded the napkin and placed it under his plate. Bramble's yellow-green eyes narrowed."
Author: Heather Dixon

20. "The teeth must have escaped while you murdered the rest of it," said Bramble, cough-laughing into her napkin. "Ha ha ha! You know, sometimes I think Clover is harboring some deep, dark shocking secret. Fire poker! Ba-hahahahaaa!"
Author: Heather Dixon

21. "Good?" Cam said. "Right?"I took another bite and nodded. "Well, I have a whole ton of them at home." He stretched as he rolled up his napkin. "Just saying."
Author: J. Lynn

22. "I had an American journalist say to me, "Is it true you wrote the whole of the first novel on napkins?" I was tempted to say, "On teabags, I used to save them."
Author: J.K. Rowling

23. "If I had a funny thought and a runny nose, but only had one napkin and no paper, I'd rather use that napkin to write on than blow my nose. After all, that's what sleeves are for."
Author: Jarod Kintz

24. "I left my phone number on a napkin, along with trace amounts of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread grease, hoping she'd call me. And when she didn't, I panicked and filed a missing person's report with the police."
Author: Jarod Kintz

25. "Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket."
Author: Jarod Kintz

26. "I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap."
Author: Jarod Kintz

27. "But you know what? They all grinned at me in welcome,and Josh even scooted over to make room for me on the bench. At least I knew who my true friends were. Feeling grateful and loved,I sat downTHPPPPTHPPPPTHPPPPT! I farted. Or so it seemed. The boys died laughing.I pulled the whoopee cushion out from under me and flung it on the table,which only sent them into another paroxysm."Nick-Kriger-is-behind-you," Josh gasped between giggles. "He totally heard it over Galaga.Do you still want us to look without looking like we're looking?" This sent them into yet another laughing fit."But don't worry," one of his friends said. "We'll act like we think you're hot."They all snorted and dabbed at their eyes faux-girlishly with paper napkins from the holder. Then,as if on cue, they started their rythmic heavy breathing,and I knew one of Josh's raps was coming. The people in the booths around us turned to look, if they weren't already staring at us outright because of the whoopee cushion."
Author: Jennifer Echols

28. "These napkins are more holy than righteous," Mrs. Wapshot said, and most of her conversation at table was made up of just such chestnuts, saws and hoary puns."
Author: John Cheever

29. "Poor Elinor! Willoughby on one side, Brandon on the other. She is quite entre deux feux." Prudie had a bit of lipstick on her teeth, or else it was wine. Jocelyn wanted to lean across and wipe it off with a napkin, the way she did when Sahara needed tidying. But she restrained herself; Prudie didn't belong to her. The fire sculpted Prudie's face, left the hollows of her cheeks hollow, brightened her deep-set eyes. She wasn't pretty like Allegra, but she was attractive in an interesting way. She drew your eye. She would probably age well, like Angelica Houston. If only she would stop speaking French. Or go to France, where it would be less noticeable."
Author: Karen Joy Fowler

30. "But it has perks -- personal pride, financial security, and the feeling of accomplishment and control that comes when you just swap in a new toilet paper roll rather than resorting to fast-food napkins."
Author: Kelly Williams Brown

31. "Thank you, miss …?""Annabelle." She dropped a napkin onto his lap and smiled. "And might I say you are a handsome gent. Beautiful green eyes! I can see why Miss Ayden fancies your company!"Kane frowned. "Miss Ayden? Is this the same creepy woman with the gray eyes and weapons arsenal dangling from her hips?""Why yes, sir. Although, she's not so scary, once you get to know her." Anna backed away and clasped her fingers together. "Bit of a sweet spot she has." She winked."Yeah. I noticed."
Author: Keri Lake

32. "Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so much time finding themselves that they lose their taxicabs. They don't see that what kind of napkin you get at a delicatessen is a matter of much significance in the world today.That's why they don't get linen"
Author: Kinky Friedman

33. "My mother grimaces, clearly on to my BS. She's what you'd call a health fanatic times one hundred, from the raw-ful cuisine she makes us eat to her handmade sanitary napkins (no joke: the woman actually uses kitchen sponges), and so, pepperoni-and-cheese-laden pizza ranks right up there with what fur coats are to PETA."
Author: Laurie Faria Stolarz

34. "I'm not surprised you're here," Heath said dryly. "Haven't yet heard of a Yankee hesitating to venture into enemy territory."Damon held his white napkin up by the corner and dangled it as if it were a flag of surrender. "I came to inquire, General, if there's any hope of a negotiated peace."Heath smiled slightly, pulling out the chair next to Lucy and sitting down. "Possible.You might start by passing the muffins.""Yes,sir."
Author: Lisa Kleypas

35. "Did you know you snore in your sleep? You do this little gurgling, whining thing. Scared the shit out of me at first. I couldn't tell if you were drowning or whistling at me. I started to stick a wad of napkins in your mouth."
Author: Loni Flowers

36. "Back inside, his fire was crackling away. "okay." he actually rubbed his hands together. "Action." In two minutes, he'd pulled cushions and a couple throws from the two sofas and made a sort of nest in front of the fire. Then he grabbed his backpack. "Refreshments."I half expected to see a bottle of wine or someting similar. Instead, he pulled out a thermos.Followed by a bag of marshmellows, a box of graham crackers, and, absolutely, enough Hershey's chocolate bars to feed a small army."S'mores!" I said happily."And cocoa.Sit." He waited until I was in the middle of the nest, then disappeared through a doorway. I heard a few squeaks and rattles. When he came back,he was carrying a tray, loaded with mugs,napkins, and real, three-pointed skewers."You're kidding," I teased when he handed me one. "You actually own s'mores implements.""Roast,then laugh."
Author: Melissa Jensen

37. "Frustrated, Ria threw down her napkin and rose to her feet. "If he's that great, you marry him. I will not marry a man who hasn't even attempted to French-kiss me the entire year we've been 'dating.'"Her parents yelled her name, but Jet's incredulous voice drowned them out. "Seriously? Not even a little tongue? You're right-- dude is lame."
Author: Nalini Singh

38. "I make napkins talk in restaurants, socks talk on car journeys. There is an awful lot of puppetry going on in the house."
Author: Nina Conti

39. "Why not collect and clean chicken wishbones in the run-up to Christmas, spray them silver and use each to pinch together a white hem-stitch napkin?"
Author: Pippa Middleton

40. "A plane flies overhead and inside it is a writer who has spent most of his life as a law clerk, even though he's always known deep down that he's a writer. For the first time, he's worked out what he wants to write, what the truth really is. He begs a napkin and a pen off the air hostess and he writes down the most beautiful sentence ever written, as the engine catches fire outside and the plane starts its plummet to the ground. It doesn't matter to him. It's the only sentence he's ever written and it is the last and no part of him cares. The sentence falls through the air with singed, black edges and comes to rest in a tree, in a park, miles away. One day, around ten years from now, an old widow of an astronaut will find it when a strong breeze finally blows it from its hiding place. She will read it and she will weep."
Author: Pleasefindthis

41. "What happened to all the historical detritus in the world? Some of it made it into drawers of museums, okay, but what about all those old postcards, the photoplates, the maps on napkins, the private journals with little latches on them? Did they burn in house fires? Were they sold at yard sales for 75¢? Or did they all just crumble into themselves like everything else in this world, the secret little stories contained within their pages disappearing, disappearing, and now gone forever."
Author: Reif Larsen

42. "Bring mine unopened, with a napkin and an opener. (Blaine)What? Afraid I'm going to spit in it, big boy? (Aimee)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

43. "I don't´t like doing dishes. I like eating with my hands and off napkins."
Author: Stephen Chbosky

44. "By now I am sure you have guessed Peter's plan of escape, because you know a good deal more than Peyna did when he read Peter's requests. But in any case, the time has come to tell you straight out. He planned to use linen threads to make a rope. The threads would come, of course, from the edges of the napkins. He would descend this rope to the ground and so escape. Some of you may be laughing very hard at this idea."
Author: Stephen King

45. "The stagflation of the 1970s blessed us with damaging wage and price controls and the utterly counterintuitive supply-side notion - famously drawn on a napkin - that cutting taxes would lead to higher tax revenues."
Author: Steven Rattner

46. "Can we leave now?" She laughed. Yeah, she probably shouldn't have found it amusing that her mate was in hell surrounded by people … "Let me finish my cake and coffee." … "Wrap up the cake with a napkin and bring it with you." Grinning at the impatience in his voice, Shaya said, "No, I want to eat it now." "But… people keep smiling at me." "So smile back." "I don't want to."
Author: Suzanne Wright

47. "(First Kiss)"It's not that—" she turned to protest but stopped when he brushed the corner of her mouth with his thumb. Her gaze widened as he inspected it with a half-smile."A vestige of jam tart, I believe. But alas," he gave a helpless shrug. "I have no napkin." Before she realized what he was about, he brushed her lips in a feathery kiss, lingering at the corner of her mouth, where his tongue flicked out to taste her. The unexpectedness of it stunned her. "Lord Hadley! Wh-what are you doing?""If you have to ask, I must be losing my touch. Perhaps I should try again?"
Author: Victoria Vane

48. "Lord, how unutterably disgusting life is! What dirty tricks it plays us, one moment free; the next, this. Here we are among the breadcrumbs and the stained napkins again. That knife is already congealing with grease. Disorder, sordidity and corruption surrounds us. We have been taking into our mouths the bodies of dead birds. It is with these greasy crumbs, slobbering over napkins, and little corpses that we have to build. Always it begins again; always there is the enemy; eyes meeting ours; fingers twitching ours; the effort waiting. Call the waiter. Pay the bill. We must pull ourselves up out of the chairs. We must find our coats. We must go. Must, must, must — detestable word. Once more, I who had thought myself immune, who had said, "Now I am rid of all that", find that the wave has tumbled me over, head over heels, scattering my possessions, leaving me to collect, to assemble, to head together, to summon my forces, rise and confront the enemy."
Author: Virginia Woolf

49. "She's been on more laps than a napkin."
Author: Walter Winchell

50. "I am glad I have found this napkin.This was her first remembrance from the Moor,My wayward husband hath a hundred timesWooed me to steal it, but she so loves the token— For he conjured her she should ever keep it— That she reserves it evermore about herTo kiss and talk to. I'll ha' the work ta'en out,And give't Iago. What he will do with it,Heaven knows, not I.I nothing, but to please his fantasy."
Author: William Shakespeare

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