No Pants Quotes

1. "Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink nightie."
Author: Alice Clayton

2. "The rules took a while to sort out. Lena and Carmen wanted to focus on friendship-type rules, stuff about keeping in touch with one another over the summer, and making sure the Pants kept moving from one girl to the next. Tibby preferred to focus on random things you could and couldn't do in the Pants --- like picking your nose."
Author: Ann Brashares

3. "Be careful with whom you chose to surround yourself when performing some of life's most delicate behaviors. A man is at his most vulnerable state when sleeping, shitting, and fucking … in no particular order. It is generally considered good advice to exercise extreme caution when your pants are around your ankles and the white skin of your ass is exposed."
Author: Artemas Khan

4. "I can see him now in his cart pulled by two deer, followed by a couple of servants. Once carried enough wine to kill Liu Ling, and the other carried a spade to bury him on the spot – so much for Confucian ceremony. When I came to call, he'd greet me stark naked and I can still hear him scream, "The universe is my dwelling place and my house is my only clothes! Why are you entering into my pants?"
Author: Barry Hughart

5. "As a note, I never once refer to 'Train' as a game in the rules, and I also never refer to the participants as players."
Author: Brenda Brathwaite

6. "When you see me in a scarf you may think "Oh, she went to some trouble there." But no, when I wear a scarf it means "this grey blouse was unwrinkled and those mocha pants make my behind look fine and voila I have a vivid grey and brown silk scarf which means I have transformed self from bone lazy to coordinated accessory maven.(Maid in Waiting publish date June 2014)"
Author: Bridget Allison

7. "But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'I understand. So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.a) Do you have a vagina? andb) Do you want to be in charge of it?If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist."
Author: Caitlin Moran

8. "Grace to me is a little bit of extra help when you're feeling stuck or doomed or, probably, hopefully, out of good ideas on how to save yourself, and how to salvage the situation or the friendship or the whatever it is," Anne Lamott once told me. "I wish it was accompanied by harp music so you could know that's what was happening, but for me it's that extra pause or that extra breath or that extra minute's patience against all odds." On that first trip to Ireland, grace—the kick-in-the-pants, clarifying, cosmic-pause-button kind of grace—didn't just have a harp. It had an entire soundtrack..."
Author: Cathleen Falsani

9. "Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small penis.Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea"
Author: Chelsea Handler

10. "Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq."
Author: Chelsea Handler

11. "It might have felt easier if she'd been able to say that she moved across the room to him in a trance, as if he were a vampire exerting some kind of mind control. That would have been a cop-out, though. Not to mention a lie. She was exquisitely aware of every movement she made as she uncurled her legs, rose from her chair and walked slowly and carefully around the end of the coffee table towards him. She felt the wide hem of her yoga pants sway around her ankles, felt the nap of the blue-and-green area rug and then the cool smoothness of the wooden floorboards beneath her feet. She felt the way the thick sofa cushions gave beneath her as she sat beside him and the pull of gravity when his heavier weight made a deeper depression that her body rolled naturally into...And then she felt everything."
Author: Christine Warren

12. "Days she's wasted locked up here in this room, and nothing she's done is half as good as the sketch of a chair she did while shitting her pants."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk

13. "I love wearing flat shoes, but I am not one of those girls who walks around in sweat pants and sneakers."
Author: Claudia Schiffer

14. "Actually, writers have no business writing about their own works. They either wax conceited, saying things like: 'My brilliance is possibly most apparent in my dazzling short story, "The Cookiepants Hypotenuse."' Or else they get unbearably cutesy: 'My cat Ootsywootums has given me all my best ideas, hasn't oo, squeezums?"
Author: Connie Willis

15. "Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad? Mac MacGuff: What? Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um... Mac MacGuff: *Or*...? Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!"
Author: Diablo Cody

16. "MR. SMITH: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. [Silence.]MR. MARTIN: Don't you feel well? [Silence.]MRS. SMITH: No, he's wet his pants. [Silence.]MRS. MARTIN: Oh, sir, at your age, you shouldn't. [Silence.]MR. SMITH: The heart is ageless. [Silence.]"
Author: Eugène Ionesco

17. "None of the participants ever arrived at a clear understanding of the actual horror of Auschwitz, which is of a different nature from all the atrocities of the past, because it appeared to prosecution alike as not much more than the most horrible pogrom in Jewish history."
Author: Hannah Arendt

18. "This is not a book. This is libel, slander, defamation of character. This is not a book, in the ordinary sense of the word. No, this is a prolonged insult, a gob of spit in the face of Art, a kick in the pants to God, Man, Destiny, Time, Love, Beauty ... what you will."
Author: Henry Miller

19. "KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command-including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.-The Chief"
Author: Hunter S. Thompson

20. "Elves, pixies, gnomes- the Moomins, Chorlton and the Wheelies, SpongeBob SquarePants- they all tried to invade you at some point."
Author: Jacqueline Rayner

21. "I want to be a matador in the bull market, but not so I can make a killing. Rather, I just want to wear flamboyant and form-fitting pants that emphasize my genitalia as I stroll down Wall Street."
Author: Jarod Kintz

22. "Probably no other meeting we hold in the Church has the high referral and future baptismal harvest that a baptismal service does. Many of the investigators who attend a baptismal service (that is, the service of someone else being baptized) will go on to their own baptisms. That is more likely to occur if this service is a spiritual, strong teaching moment in which it is clear to participants and visitors alike that this is a sacred act of faith centered on the Lord Jesus Christ, that it is an act of repentance claiming the cleansing power of Christ, that through His majesty and Atonement it brings a remission of sins as well as, with confirmation, membership in His Church."
Author: Jeffrey R. Holland

23. "But ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds-way less easy than it sounds, by the way-I've become obsessed with my size and in so doing I've inadvertently allowed my inner critic to have a voice. And you know what? She's a bitch. Like now when I see my underpants in the laundry, I no longer think Soft! Cotton! Sensible! Instead I hear her say Damn, girl, these panties be huge."
Author: Jen Lancaster

24. "Although my understanding of exactly how much trouble I was in grew more specific over time, as a child I surely understood enough about my condition to know it was something I'd better keep private. By intuition I was certain that the thing I knew to be true was something others would find both impossible and hilarious. My conviction, by the way, had nothing to do with a desire to be feminine, but it had everything to do with being female. Which is an odd believe for a person born male. It certainly had nothing to do with whether I was attracted to girls or boys. This last point was the one that, years later, would most frequently elude people, including the overeducated smarty-pants who constituted much of my inner circle. But being gay or lesbian is about sexual orientation. Being transgedered is about identity."
Author: Jennifer Finney Boylan

25. "Honestly, as much as I love my brother, I'm not sure how I feel about him hanging out in your bedroom." He reached out with a muscular arm and used his fingers to brush a few strands of hair off my cheek, tucking them behind my ear. I shivered, and he smiled. "I feel like I need to mark my territory." "Shut up." "Oh, I love it when you get all bossy-pants. It's sexy."
Author: Jennifer L. Armentrout

26. "Sunny laughed. "It's okay. You're right, Emma. My name is unusual, but I like to think of it as... special also."Special?Sam cocked his head as he studied Sunny. Almost all of her hair had escaped out of her ponytail now. She wore a baggy pink sweatshirt and had on the kind of drawstring plaid pants that would've set Bozo the Clown's heart pitter-pattering with envy. Her yellow tennis shoes were covered with dog hair.Yeah, special was one word for her."
Author: Jennifer Shirk

27. "There's no being out too late in Whileaway, or up too early, or in the wrong part of town, or unescorted. You cannot fall out of the kinship web and become sexual prey for strangers, for there is no prey and there are no strangers -- the web is world-wide. In all of Whileaway there is no one who can keep you from going where you please (though you may risk your life, if that sort of thing appeals to you), no one who will follow you and try to embarrass you by whispering obscenities in your ear, no one who will attempt to rape you, no one who will warn you of the dangers of the street, no one who will stand on street corners, hot-eyed and vicious, jingling loose change in his pants pocket, bitterly bitterly sure that you're a cheap floozy, hot and wild, who likes it, who can't say no, who's making a mint off it, who inspires him with nothing but disgust, and who wants to drive him crazy."
Author: Joanna Russ

28. "I just told Max flatly, "I had laser surgery last week to lighten my birthmark," as if it was no big deal.Oh yeah?" he said. Unexpectedly, Max swiveled around, yanked his pants down.The last thing I thought I had wanted to see tonight was Merc walking out the door. I was wrong. It was this stranger's rear end. "Please don't tell me this is one of those stripping telegrams?"
Author: Justina Chen

29. "I see a creative process as a necessarily thievish undertaking. Dig beneath a beautiful piece of writing, Monsieur Boustouler, and you will find all manner of dishonor. Creating means vandalizing the lives of other people, turning them into unwilling and unwitting participants. You steal their desires, their dreams, pocket their flaws, their suffering. You take what does not belong to you. You do this knowingly."
Author: Khaled Hosseini

30. "How?" I had seen it with my own eyes, but I still didn't believe it. Then something struck me. "Take off your shirt!""I'm not that kind of guy!" He frowned thoughtfully. "On second thought, why not?"I blushed angrily and looked at Raquel. "What is he? I don't see anything!""He's not 'anything'.Just a talented boy.""Then how did he make a door? How did he get through the Paths?""Wait,so am I allowed to put my shirt back on? Or did you want me to remove my pants,too?"Lend and I joined forces in a dark glare. "Only if you want me to vomit," I snapped."
Author: Kiersten White

31. "Sometimes I'm a black. Not everyone realizes blackness has to be conferred upon you again and again. It's like getting your nails done. Or being pantsed. People assume I'm cool."
Author: Laura Yes Yes

32. "I scowled. I could resist it all I wanted, but I did understand what he was trying to explain. How sometimes he pieces of who you thought you were didn't add up to who you really were, like with me not standing up for Patrick when he wore those pants."
Author: Lauren Myracle

33. "There is no system that is inherently moral if the participants themselves are not."
Author: Lee R. Raymond

34. "I know this looks pathetic, but I'm wearing black elastic-waist pants just like my mother's, a hot-pink fleece hat, mismatched socks, and no makeup. I think it's safe to say that vanity is no longer my biggest concern."
Author: Lisa Genova

35. "And no man, not even Cyprien, could chase a girl with his pants down."
Author: Lynn Viehl

36. "Those East Coast rich kids are a different breed, on a fast track to nowhere. Your friends in Seattle are downright Canadian in their niceness. None of you has a cell phone. The girls wear hoodies and big cotton underpants and walk around with tangled hair and smiling, adorned backpacks. Do you know how absolutely exotic it is that you haven't been corrupted by fashion and pop culture? A month ago I mentioned Ben Stiller, and do you remember how you responded? ‘Who's that?' I loved you all over again."
Author: Maria Semple

37. "Ten years ago I saw a documentary on the siege of that Moscow theater. After just forty-eight hours of the terrorists confining the hostages to their seats with no sleep, the lights blazing and being forced to pee their pants-although if the had to shit, they could do so in the orchestra pit-well,more than a few hostages just stood up and walked to the exit knowing they'd get shot in the back. Because the were DONE."
Author: Maria Semple

38. "She couldn't take her eyes off the boxers. Mostly, she had a view of the back, but he turned halfway when he looked over. She commanded herself not to look at the front flap, which, of course, was exactly what she honed in on.He spit and put his mouth under the tap to get some water. All while just wearing underwear. All while she just stared at the crucial spot of the Action Pants."
Author: Maureen Johnson

39. "Hey!" Lauren Moffat's voice, sounding noticeably irritated, floated up to us. "What-ew! What's in my hair?"We all three ducked beneath our table so Lauren couldn't see us if she realized what was happening and looked up. I could see her between the slits of the fencing around the balcony, but I knew she couldn't see me. She was shaking out her hair. Becca, crouching across from me, had to put her hands across her mouth to keep from giggling. Jason looked like he was about to pee in his pants, he was trying so hard not to laugh.What's the matter, babe?" Mark came out from beneath the balcony, putting his wallet into his back pocket.There's something--sand or something-in my hair," Lauren said, still fluffing out her hair-which you could tell she didn't want to do, since she flat-ironed it so straight.Mark leaned in closer to examine Lauren's hair. "Looks okay to me," he said. Which just made us laugh harder, until tears were streaming out of the corners of our eyes."
Author: Meg Cabot

40. "Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to shake things up, but we're going to have to get some pants on this one."
Author: Mike Mignola

41. "Course they wouldn't have all the details, like whether or not they played in squares of sunlight on their walls, if they wore spiders on their hats, if they ate hamburger every other day, if they had ever made love in a yellow canola field tenderly or passionately or awkwardly. If they preferred dresses or pants, if they shaved their legs or didn't, or if they preferred red peppers to green. Stuff was happening. Even in Half-a-Life. Little things, but it all added up to something big. To our lives. It was happening all along. These were our lives. This was it. My mom was hanging on to the lives, the recorded lives, of these women. We might escape, but what if we didn't? What if we lived in Half-a-Life all our lives, poor, lonely, proud, happy? If we did, we did. These were our lives. If we couldn't escape them, we'd have to live them."
Author: Miriam Toews

42. "In the hysterical technocracy of modern music, sorrow is sent to the back of the class where it sits, pissing its pants in mortal terror."
Author: Nick Cave

43. "Once or twice a year I attended the English Romantic conferences held throughout Europe, brief gatherings perhaps not dissimilar in feeling for the participants than the feeling Jews have when they get off the plane in Israel: the relief of at last being surrounded on all sides by your own kind--the relief and the horror."
Author: Nicole Krauss

44. "How do I know what *you've* got in your pants?' He choked, and so did I, for different reasons. 'Pockets!' I corrected."
Author: Rosemary Clement Moore

45. "I can kill a bad guy, but I can't save anyone. I'm not a hero. All I am is a killer. A dead killer who shit his pants."
Author: Samuel Engelen

46. "Oh, no. We can't have that. Where you going, Mr. Meanie-Pants? You don't hurt people then run. That's just rude. Can the Simi barbecue him, or is he on the ‘No Simi' eat list?" – Simi"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

47. "To infinity then. (Bubba)What's that mean? (Nick)It's something my dad used to say when I was a kid. To infinity, meaning you'd see something through to the end. (Bubba)Infinity is never-ending. (Nick)That's right, which means you keep going and going no matter what happens or what obstacles you meet. Over, under, around or through. There's always a way. And if you have to chase something to infinity, strap on your big-boy pants, hiking boots, and go. (Bubba)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

48. "It's fucking Meerkat Manor in my pants."
Author: Tara Sivec

49. "Why do women want to dress like men when they're fortunate enough to be women? Why lose femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I'm very fond of men. I think they are wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don't want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error…"
Author: Tasha Tudor

50. "Bursar?""Yes, Archchancellor?""You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?""Me? No, Archchancellor.""Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head."
Author: Terry Pratchett

No Pants Quotes Pictures