Piss Quotes

1. "I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off."
Author: Alex Trebek

2. "Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a piss."
Author: Banksy

3. "I am not sure,' Mordecai told Thomas, 'whether omens can be trusted.''Of course they can.''I should like to hear your reasons. But show me your urine first.''You said I was cured,' Thomas protested. 'Eternal vigilance, dear Thomas, is the price of health. Piss for me."
Author: Bernard Cornwell

4. "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?" "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."
Author: Cassandra Clare

5. "Where some god pissed a rain of reason to make things grow only to die,"
Author: Charles Bukowski

6. "Great, he was going to have PMS for at least a few days. Pissy Man Syndrome."
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

7. "You only play Pistol Annies when you're pissed, usually at me. I know your fake laugh from your real one. You have a great laugh, by the way. I know which shirts are your favorites, because they're the first ones you wear after you've done your laundry. You lick your bottom lip when you're trying to concentrate on your textbook reading. You cry during those commercials with the absurd animals when you think no one is looking. No, I don't know you at all."
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

8. "Fuck, babe," Chocolate Eyes said, stepping forward. He grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet off the tiled floor. "You look like crap...worse, actually." He wiped her tears with the calloused pad of his thumb. "You want to get out of this pisshole or not?"
Author: Cindy Paterson

9. "I hit the streets first. So I knew what we were in for. I'm not a smart guy, but I can read a situation. To live in this world without a dime or a pot to piss in, you have to sell your soul or your body.""I wouldn't let them face that choice. I had six months to become the baddest motherfucker who ever lived. So I fucked up piles of people. I sold my soul, Livia, and I sold other people's bodies. But when my brothers stepped out of our foster home for the last time, I had respect. Respect enough to keep their souls clean. I'm going to hell, Livia," he said."I'm going to hell for all three of us," Beckett said defiantly. Only now did he pull his hand away."
Author: Debra Anastasia

10. "Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss"
Author: Diablo Cody

11. "...the people... they are church-broken, nation-broken -- they drink and pray and piss in the one place. Every man has a house-broken heart except the great man. The people love their church and know it, as a dog knows where he was made to conform, and there he returns by his instinct."
Author: Djuna Barnes

12. "Rock 'n' roll is not red carpets and MySpace friends, rock'n'roll is dangerous and should piss people off"
Author: Gerard Way

13. "Adieu, mon cher vieux. Relis et rebûche ton conte. Laisse-le reposer et reprends-le, les livres ne se font pas comme les enfants, mais comme les pyramides, avec un dessin prémédité, et en apportant des grands blocs l´un par-dessus l´autre, à force de reins, de temps et de sueur, et ça ne sert à rien! et ça reste dans le désert! mais en le dominant prodigieusement. Les chacals pissent au bas et les bourgeois montent dessus, etc.; continue la comparaison."
Author: Gustave Flaubert

14. "At first glance you looked at Kate and thought "fighter," maybe merc. Five inches taller than me, she was all muscle—well, and some boobs—but mostly muscle. She moved like a predator and when she got pissed off, she exhaled aggression, like hot breath on a winter evening. Still, men looked, until they saw her eyes. Kate's eyes were crazy. It was that hidden-deep crazy that told you that you had no idea what the hell she would do next but whatever it was, the bad guys wouldn't like it."
Author: Ilona Andrews

15. "Freedom doesn't give you the license to do whatever the hell you want. It doesn't give you the license to, excuse my language, piss on other people's freedom."
Author: Jessica Zafra

16. "Sitting next to her, Amy was wide-eyed, mesmerized at the sight of Jack heading over in all his seemingly pissed-off-once-again glory. "I changed my mind, Cam. If this was all a big setup and he's coming over to strip for me, I think I can handle it. I definitely can handle it."
Author: Julie James

17. "God, i love you, so, so much. It's beyond words for me too, honey. I'm so pissed at myself for not having the balls to tell you before. To think we could have had this...the whole time."
Author: Kahlen Aymes

18. "It always pisses me off when I'm calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so get ready, I'm comin'—when the DJ actually tries to convince me that there are as many female comics as male ones. Cue hypermasculine Morning Zoo Hacky McGee voice: "So Kath, I don't know what you chicks are always complaining about." To which I respond: "Really? Why don't you call your local comedy club and ask for the Saturday night lineup? I guarantee you the male to female ratio is going to be about nine to one. You dick-wad."
Author: Kathy Griffin

19. "Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, "Hey- in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak." And the Marine turns around and says, "Yeah? Well, in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands."
Author: Keith R.A. DeCandido

20. "I left you sweet and smiling in this goddamed bed and I don't see you or hear your voice for four days? Then I walk into your office and you give me attitude and tell me to kiss your ass because you're in a pissy mood about some shit you refuse to share? No. You gotta know, darlin', that shit don't play with me."
Author: Kristen Ashley

21. "His face is sober, his eyes molten blue, and I can't tell if he's pissed or just really, really turned on."Keep looking at me like that and the fucking three date rule will be out the window, Megan."Make that really, really turned on."
Author: Kristen Proby

22. "He didn't give a shit what Sin did, who she "mated" with, or what she did with her assassin business. But this Lycus fucker was blackmailing her, and that just pissed him off. The sudden image of her naked, beneath a well-muscled body did'nt bother him at all. At. All."
Author: Larissa Ione

23. "So why are you telling me?""Well, for one thing, because I expect that Carnac will try to find some way to mention it, and if I hadn't told you first, you'd be thoroughly pissed off about it when he did."Warrick said nothing. Well, it had been a fifty-fifty bet which way round would prove more hassle in the end."Warrick, if there'd been another way—""No, no. I understand. I was merely contemplating the fact that informing me that you had sex with someone else last night—after drugging him—falls under the heading of your being unusually considerate."
Author: Manna Francis

24. "You do that all the time you know. you ask me questions when you know the answer will piss you off. ask me a question where the answer could be yes? ask me if you're worth the hard work? ask me if in the last seven years of my life i've woken up in a cold sweat knowing i lost the most important person in my life apart from this kid i'm holding? ask me if getting you pregnat has felt like the best thing that's happened to me since my son was born?"
Author: Melina Marchetta

25. "If it's a choice between being shat on and pissed on and used and being a bastard, I'll choose being a bastard any time."
Author: Melvin Burgess

26. "A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it."
Author: Michael Showalter

27. "Mummy was a swine: a scum-cunted, likkered-up, brain-sick swine. She was lazy and slothful and dirty and belligerent and altogether evil. Ma was a soak - a drunk - a piss-eyed hell-bag with a taste for the homebrew."
Author: Nick Cave

28. "After a real snake ended up on stage one night, it was well and truly pissed off about being on stage with Ozzy Osbourne, that snake was."
Author: Ozzy Osbourne

29. "Yes, I'm the crazy rock'n'roller who bit the head off a bat and pissed on the Alamo, but I also have a son who likes to mess around with the settings on my telly, so when I make myself a nice pot of tea, put my feet up, and try to watch a programme on the History Channel, I can't get the f**king thing to work. That kind of stuff blew people's minds. I think they had this idea in their heads that when I wasn't being arrested for public intoxication, I went to a cave and hung upside down, drinking snakes' blood. But I'm like Coco the Clown, me: at the end of the day, I come home, take off my greasepaint and my big red nose, and become Dad."
Author: Ozzy Osbourne

30. "I don't like answering to other people's philosophies. I don't have any philosophy, I just believe in stuff. Either I believe in something or I don't. Like, I believe in the Rolling Stones but not in the Dave Clark Five. There's nothing philosophic about it. Whenever I'm linked with a movement, it pisses me off."
Author: Patti Smith

31. "The lord giveth and most women piss it away. Perhaps this is why they lack the equipment to aim."
Author: Paula Wall

32. "You, Monica said, leaning over her, really pissed me off, fish. I don't forget things like that. Neither does my boyfriend.Brandon? Claire wheezed. Jeez, at least get one with a pulse!"
Author: Rachel Caine

33. "Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress. When you're pissed off at someone and you're angry at them, you just haven't given them enough time. Just give them a little more time and they almost always will impress you."
Author: Randy Pausch

34. "Boy is he pissed," said Adrian."Do you blame him?" asked Christian. "He just lost memerbship in the evil mastermind club. His brilliant plan fell apart, and now his daughter's missing when he thought she was somewhere safe."Adrian stayed pointedly silent."
Author: Richelle Mead

35. "Piss on reset. Wherever you land, when you get there, man, hit play."
Author: Rodney Ross

36. "Don't make fun," Alexis scolded. "The Stinger's design was piss before I came along. I turned it into a work of art, and by my good right hand, I plan to keep improving it until the day I die. Shut up and appreciate me." -Alexis Vylis"
Author: S.G. Night

37. "But who could blame them if it had been? Even she'd seen how hideously tyrannical Marshal Connors had become around the holidays. A suspicious number of people had simply begun disappearing off the compound at a terrifying rate during that time and even someone as lowly as she had begun to wonder how little it took to piss the brass off in those days. She'd even lessened her hours of day dreaming and speculating in order to appear busy just in case for some reason he came waltzing into the Payroll Department one day and actually spoke to her."
Author: Santino Hassell

38. "For me, family means the silent treatment. At any given moment, someone is always not speaking to someone else.'Really,' I said.We're passive-aggressive people,' she explained, taking a sip of her coffee. 'Silence is our weapon of choice. Right now, for instance, I'm not speaking to two of my sisters and one brother... At mine [my house], silence is golden. And common.'To me,' Reggie said, picking up a bottle of Vitamin A and moving it thoughtfully from one hand to the other, 'family is, like, the wellspring of human energy. The place where all life begins.'...Harriet considered this as she took a sip of coffee. 'Huh,' she said. 'I guess when someone else does something worse. Then you need people on your side, so you make up with one person, jsut as you're getting pissed off at another.' So it's an endless cycle,' I said.I guess.' She took another sip. 'Coming together, falling apart. Isn't that what families are all about?"
Author: Sarah Dessen

39. "Then Olympus it is. But do try to behave. I know it's hard for you, but… (Delphine)I won't piss on the floor. (Jericho)It's not the floor I'm worried about. It's their cornflakes. (Delphine)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

40. "And you are? (Xypher)Pissed off. You wrecked my car, shoved me around, and are a complete and utter dickhead! (Simone)Dear God, what a mouthful – your mom must have really wanted a son. Mind if I call you ‘Pissed' for short? The rest of that is just too much to say every time I want your attention. (Xypher)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

41. "Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid)No. I'm pissing on your rug. What do you think I'm doing? (Zarek)I'm blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you're kidding. (Astrid)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

42. "Whoa, what is this? Battle of the Sarcastic and Pissed? Should I make popcorn? Forget American Idol, man. This is much more entertaining. (Kish)"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

43. "I know I just met you, Susan," Ravyn whispered against her ear. "But I think I love you."She froze her hand on the latch as a wave of anger went through her. Instead of warming her, those words went over her like ice. Looking at him over her shoulder, she glared at him. "You think? You think you love me? You don't know?"His face baffled, he scowled at her. "Why are you so angry? I'm trying to die here… for you. Nobly.""Then you should have just dropped dead and not opened your mouth to piss me of. You think? Think? What is that?"
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

44. "His guilt is why Acheron went out of his way to make sure that all of you had servants and pay for your work. The Dark-Hunters owe that man everything, and I do mean everything. He pays in blood every time one of you wants to go free, and he suffers every day so that you can all live your cushy little lives of wealth and privilege."…"And I have to say that every time one of your turns on him, it seriously pisses me off. Acheron asks nothing from any of you and that's exactly what he receives."
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

45. "I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss."
Author: Stephen King

46. "Gregory Corso used to get really pissed when people called Bob Dylan a 'poet.' After writing poetry for a few years, I can understand that."
Author: Steve Earle

47. "Ambition is not a dirty word. Piss on compromise. Go for the throat."
Author: Steven Erikson

48. "London Bridge is in Arizona? When the fuck did this happen? Does London know about this? The queen has got to be pissed"
Author: Tara Sivec

49. "Nobody wanted to hear about all the Preterite, the many God passes over when he chooses a few for salvation. William argued holiness for these "second Sheep," without whom there'd be no elect. You can bet the Elect in Boston were pissed off about that. And it got worse. William felt that what Jesus was for the elect, Judas Iscariot was for the Preterite. Everything in the Creation has its equal and opposite counterpart. How can Jesus be an exception? could we feel for him anything but horror in the face of the unnatural, the extracreational? Well, if he is the son of man, and if what we feel is not horror but love, then we have to love Judas too. Right? How William avoided being burned for heresy, nobody knows."
Author: Thomas Pynchon

50. "It seems a stray bullet actually pierced the testicle of a Union soldier and lodged itself in the ovaries of a woman standing approximately 100 ft. away. She's alright, the baby's doing fine...ofcourse the soldier's a little pissed off..."
Author: Tom Waits

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