Top Police Officers Funny Quotes

Browse top 29 famous quotes and sayings about Police Officers Funny by most favorite authors.

Favorite Police Officers Funny Quotes

1. "Love's a funny thing, especially with a man who gets paid to put junk in other people's slots. (The Mail Man)"
Author: Andrew Sturm
2. "I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right."
Author: Billy Crystal
3. "I love you, Tess McGee. I don't do big funny or heartfelt speeches in front of people at birthday parties, but I'm excellent in private alcoves in beer gardens." He paused. "Okay, that sounded really bad, what I mean is …"I kissed him into silence. I pressed my forehead against his with a sigh. "I love you, too, Toby. In fact, that's what I was going to tell you before we walked into the beer garden. Right before the really bad singing started."Toby chuckled. He let out a sigh of relief. "Ready to reminisce?"I whispered my final word before he closed the distance."Always."
Author: C.J. Duggan
4. "I understand a woman who validates herself by getting attention from the opposite sex. I have a friend who is that to a T... Doesn't mean she isn't a good person. That's a funny character to play."
Author: Cheryl Hines
5. "I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny."
Author: Chris Messina
6. "I was funny -- ha-ha, not peculiar. It was a modest currency, like pennies: pedestrian, somewhat laborious, but a currency nonetheless. I was funny, in public, most often at my own expense."
Author: Claire Messud
7. "I will say that since our capture we have met with uniform kindness, and while in the penitentiary our relations with the officers have been cordially pleasant, and for their considerate and kind disposition we feel profoundly grateful."
Author: Cole Younger
8. "I don't think just funny is enough on Broadway."
Author: Don Knotts
9. "There were no passing cars to call out to. You couldn't call for help from a police car, anyway; he didn't think you could."
Author: Dorothy B. Hughes
10. "It's a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what's changed, is you."
Author: Eric Roth
11. "The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That's how I knew she really loved me."
Author: Jarod Kintz
12. "Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day."
Author: Jennifer Aniston
13. "The girl has a funny way of romanticizing things."
Author: Karen Russell
14. "Shouts of dismay rose as the red flesh splattered against the table. It was only a tomato, but one would think I was pulping a decaying heart by the noise the big, strong FIB officers were making."
Author: Kim Harrison
15. "Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach.""I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister."You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied."
Author: Lisa Lutz
16. "It's funny how the night that changes your life forever starts out like all the others."
Author: Marisha Pessl
17. "Bastion looked at the book.'I wonder,' he said to himself, 'what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures, deeds and battles. And sometimes there are storms at sea, or it takes you to strange cities and countries. All those things are somehow shut in a book. Of course you have to read it to find out. But it's already there, that's the funny thing. I just wish I knew how it could be.'Suddenly an almost festive mood came over him.He settled himself down, picked up the book, opened it to the first page, and began to read..."
Author: Michael Ende
18. "Who's to say where funny stops and 'too far' starts?"
Author: Michael Patrick King
19. "I have a coffee mug that my dad gave me years ago that has the San Mateo police logo and my dad's name on it, so I brought it to set and used it in a scene. I mean, you don't see it, it's not prominently featured, but I just wanted that connectivity."
Author: Michael Trucco
20. "Bod quite liked crows. He thought they were funny and he liked the way they helped to keep the graveyard tidy."
Author: Neil Gaiman
21. "So we used to look for funny songs, and learn them and play them. And we used to play them in pubs."
Author: Neil Innes
22. "All was well, until I reached the port of Havre. Three officers with the rank of lieutenant, whom afterwards I knew to be Scotland Yard men, came aboard and demanded to see my papers which they took away from me."
Author: Philip Gibbs
23. "A rap at the back door made her jump, and she peered through the window for a long time before she eased open the door a crack. She left the security chain on. "What do you want, Richard?"Richard Morrell's police cruiser was parked in the drive. He hadn't flashed any lights or howled any sirens, so she supposed it wasn't an emergency, exactly. But she knew him well enough to know he didn't pay social visits, at least not to the Glass House."Good question," Richard said. "I guess I want a nice girl who can cook, likes action movies, and looks good in short skirts. But I'll settle for you taking the chain off the door and letting me in."
Author: Rachel Caine
24. "Donna: You're not saying much.The Doctor: No, it's just— It's a funny old life. In the TARDIS.Donna: You don't want me.The Doctor: I'm not saying that.Donna: But you asked me. would you rather be on your own?The Doctor: No. Actually no. But. The last time, with Martha—like I said, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.Donna: You just want to mate?!The Doctor: I just want a mate.Donna: Well you're not mating with me, sunshine!The Doctor: A mate! I just want a mate.Donna: Well it's just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonense. I mean you're just a long streak of... nothing! Alien nothing.The Doctor: There we are then."
Author: Russell T Davies
25. "In 1975, no State or Church guidelines existed in the Republic of Ireland to assist those responding to an allegation of abuse against a minor. No training was given to priests, teachers, police officers or others who worked regularly with children about how to respond appropriately should such allegations be made."
Author: Sean Brady
26. "Vans are the vehicles of murderers. Serial Killers. Rapists. Thieves. Nothing good ever happens in a van. Police should be allowed to arrest van drivers without cause. The van is the cause, asshole."
Author: Shalom Auslander
27. "I was not funny growing up."
Author: Tim Meadows
28. "The police belongs to the people and the people belong to the police."
Author: Todor Zhivkov
29. "Or was Chris thinking, as I was, that if we went tothe police and told our story, our faces would be splashed on the frontpages of every newspaper in the country? Would the glare of publicitymake up for what we'd lose? Our privacy-our need to stay together?Could we lose each other just to get even?"
Author: V.C. Andrews

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Not only is there no need of an intermediary through whom He would want you to speak to Him, but He finds His delight in having you treat with Him personally and in all confidence."
Author: Alphonsus Liguori

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