Raccoons Quotes

1. "No one answers when I knock. But I left a cake and a card on the porch last night, and this morning when I was jogging I noticed that it was gone.""That could mean anything. Maybe raccoons took it," I suggest and then want to do a forehead smack. Discovering vampires has really thrown a wrench in my concept of reality if my first theory is cake-stealing raccoons."
Author: A.M. Robinson

2. "Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons."
Author: Darynda Jones

3. "Jason had joked that dust bunnies under the bed were pets he didn't mind keeping: they never whined for food and didn't require a litter box. They also didn't wake you up at night by barking at passing raccoons."
Author: Erik Bundy

4. "They were both going to the big country where there were more psychiatrists than anywhere else in the world. We could just as well say more swimming pools, more Nobel prizewinners, more strategic bombers, more apple pies, more computers, more natural parks, more libraries, more cheerleaders, more serial killers, more newspapers, more raccoons, many of many more things, because it was the country of More. No doubt because the people who lived there had left their own countries precisely because they wanted more, especially more freedom." (Hector and the Search for Happiness) *"
Author: François Lelord

5. "You are a major dimwit. Is your brain made out of jello, you spineless twit? A leaf? What do you think I am, one of those magical raccoons? I'm a concept, get it? Con-cept! Concepts and raccoons aren't exactly the same, now are they? What a dumb thing to say..."
Author: Haruki Murakami

6. "I'm so hungry, comrade! It has been days since we ate those two raccoons!''I know comrade. I'm even beginning to wish we had some of your homemade quiche!''Oh comrade! Do you mean it?''Hey--Hey! None of that! If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it!"
Author: Jeff Smith

7. "Steven, I look like a raccoon.You do NOT look like a raccoon.Actually, he looked like some deranged anteater, but I didn't figure that would be the thing to tell him.Yes, I do. Oh, no. What if I stay this way forever?You're not going to stay that way forever, Jeffy. People get black eyes all the time. If they never got better, the streets would be crowded with raccoon people. Soon the raccoon people would find each other and breed.I was on a roll here.The preschools would fill up with strange ring-eyed children. Soon the raccoons would be taking over our streets, stealing from our garbage cans, leaving eerie tails of Dinty Moore beef stew cams in their wakes. Gangs of them would haunt the malls, buying up all the black-and-gray-striped sportswear. THE RIVERS WOULD RISE! THE VALLEYS WOULD RUN WITH…Steven you're joking, right?"
Author: Jordan Sonnenblick

8. "Great. I'm with the hottest man I've ever known and raccoons have crawled through my hair and settled under my eyes."
Author: Lisa Renee Jones

9. "I constantly watch 'The Simpsons' and an English cartoon called 'The Raccoons' and 'Gummi Bears.' I was obsessed with ninja films, and the 'Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles,' I used to love that as well."
Author: Matt Smith

10. "I bet she woke up with her hair looking like something out of a Pantene commercial while little bluebirds circled around her head, and raccoons brought her breakfast or something."
Author: Rachel Hawkins

11. "Until you have experienced raccoons mating underneath your bedroom at three in the morning, you have missed one of life's sensational moments."
Author: Robert Fulghum

12. "I grew up in New Hampshire. My closest neighbor was a mile away. The deer and the raccoons were my friends. So I would spend time walking through the woods, looking for the most beautiful tropical thing that can survive the winter in the woods in New Hampshire."
Author: Steven Tyler

13. "It's not strange seeing her now, even knowing the things I know. I thought maybe it would be, but it's not. To me, she's still just Charlie—lover of Skittles and bed bouncing and scandalous raccoons."
Author: Victoria Scott

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