The Internet Funny Quotes

1. "I like to invest as a performer in the director's vision and then bring a sense of reality to whatever I'm doing, whether it's comedy or whether it's drama, and trust that they're going to tell me if something's reading as funny or if it's reading as dramatic or reading in the right tone."
Author: Amy Seimetz

2. "You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part."
Author: Christopher Gorham

3. "At the bottom, the elimination of spyware and the preservation of privacy for the consumer are critical goals if the Internet is to remain safe and reliable and credible."
Author: Cliff Stearns

4. "The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic."
Author: Dominic Chianese

5. "I currently use Ubuntu Linux, on a standalone laptop - it has no Internet connection. I occasionally carry flash memory drives between this machine and the Macs that I use for network surfing and graphics; but I trust my family jewels only to Linux."
Author: Donald Knuth

6. "So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?""That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney.""Oh, really?""O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?""Very good. You should be on the stage.""It's funny you should mention that."The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . .""Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards."Actors," he said. "Highly strung."
Author: Eoin Colfer

7. "It's good to be funny when you are a comedian."
Author: George Lindsey

8. "It's funny with fiction - once you cut something, it hasn't happened anymore."
Author: George Saunders

9. "Thanks is part to our education system, we tend to think that we're smarter than the stupid guys in funny wigs who came before us. But that's because we are mistaking technology, progress, and access to information for intelligence. We think that because we know how to use iPhones (but not build them), browse the Internet (but not understand how it works), and use Google (but not really know anything), our educational system is working just great. By the same token, we think that those dumb aristocrats who used horses to get around and didn't have electricity were neanderthals."
Author: Glenn Beck

10. "Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do."
Author: Graham Norton

11. "People have sex, even the religious ones. Yet, when sex is transferred into words, suddenly it's dirty, vulgar, immoral, trashy. Funny huh?"
Author: Hector Himeros

12. "Drug addicts are so funny that way. Just spinning around, lost in their own little world. Doing so much, accomplishing so little. How sad."
Author: James St. James

13. "I was always worried with comedy - what if I came to work and I wasn't in a funny mood? That hasn't been an issue."
Author: Jeremy Sisto

14. "I wanted to see how funny I could be without making the choice that every 10 minutes something big and visual had to happen."
Author: Judd Apatow

15. "It's funny how the darkest moments of your life can bring about the best ones."
Author: Kathryn Kennish

16. "We cannot wait for governments to do it all. Globalization operates on Internet time. Governments tend to be slow moving by nature, because they have to build political support for every step."
Author: Kofi Annan

17. "I don't know . . . we seemed to click right away, you know? And he's so kind but determined to protect you and me both, and well, he's nice to look at. Even with the "scar. It's kind of sexy."I chuckled. "Do you know how that scar got there?"She giggled. "Yeah. He told me Tristan gave it to him. But it sounded like he deserved it. Jax can be . . . well, he's Jax. But I think I love him.""I'm sure the accent has nothing to do with it." She seemed to have a thing for those."Oh, my God. You should hear him talk dirty with that accent of his!"I clapped my hand over my "mouth to cover a laugh. "I don't want to know that!""Yes, you do. Doesn't Tristan ever talk dirty to you in all those different languages he knows?"Hmm . . . funny how I'd never thought about it. He was holding out on me! That would have to change. Next time, I swore I'd make him do it. Whenever next time might be..."
Author: Kristie Cook

18. "After school I all but ran to Gran's and it was funny how even with her so sick, being with her could still make me feel safe."
Author: Laura Wiess

19. "A lot of music fans are still interested in insightful perspectives on music - maybe even more interested than ever, since everyone needs help making sense of the incredible variety of sounds that have sprung up in the wake of the Internet revolution. There's a lot of room for unique, qualified voices who can provide good reads."
Author: Michael Azerrad

20. "There should be a background check every time a firearm is transferred. You shouldn't be able to go to a gun show and buy guns without a background check. There are Internet gun sales, classified ads in the newspapers - and you can buy guns without background checks."
Author: Michael D. Barnes

21. "He shoved the phone at her again. "What does this do?" Hand shaking, she took it from him. "Um. It's called a Smartphone. You can talk to people or send messages. It's got Internet too." She pointed to a collection of funny looking symbols on the glossy surface. Inter-net. Is that used for some sort of fishing? And why is the phone called smart? Were prior ones stupid?"
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

22. "Its funny but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? Its like they think it won't ever change."
Author: Nicholas Sparks

23. "The anonymity of the internet is a dangerous but powerful thing - to any fool who will listen."
Author: P.S. Bartlett

24. "Also, there are authors and publicists using the Internet to manipulate opinion, both positively for a work and negatively against the competition. I don't do this and can't stomach it, honestly."
Author: R. A. Salvatore

25. "It's funny how you find you enjoy your life when your happy to be alive."
Author: Relient K

26. "I learned to stop looking on the Internet pretty early on."
Author: Sam Riley

27. "In practice, the Internet functions more frequently as a hive of distraction, a simulated world through which most of us flit from one context to the next . . ."
Author: Steve Almond

28. "Dying has a funny way of making you see people, the living and the dead, a little differently. Maybe that's just part of the grieving, or maybe the dead stand there and open our eyes a bit wider."
Author: Susan Gregg Gilmore

29. "Everybody in the South loves the one closeted homosexual who's married. It's just too funny to not have in a movie about the South. It's an epidemic. You gotta represent!"
Author: Tate Taylor

30. "It's sometimes funny to watch some people doing something the wrong way but doing it confidently. Even more funny, they succeeded."
Author: Toba Beta

31. "It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
Author: Tom Petty

The Internet Funny Quotes Pictures