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Top Wiener Quotes

Browse top 18 famous quotes and sayings about Wiener by most favorite authors.

Favorite Wiener Quotes

1. "The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was the most sweeping civil rights legislation of its day, and included women's rights as part of its reforms. Ironically, the section on women's rights was added by a senator from Virginia who opposed the whole thing and was said to be sure that if he stuck something about womens' rights into it, it would never pass. The bill passed anyway, though, much to the chagrin of a certain wiener from Virginia."
Author: Adam Selzer
2. "Following my accident, I plumped up like a freshly roasted wiener, my skin cracking to accommodate the expanding meat. The doctors, with their hungry scalpels, hastened the process with a few quick slices. The procedure is called an escharotomy, and it gives the swelling tissue the freedom to expand. It's rather like the uprising of your secret inner being, finally given license to claw through the surface. The doctors thought they had sliced me open to commence my healing but, in fact, they only release the monster- a thing of engorged flesh, suffused with juice."
Author: Andrew Davidson
3. "I know it hurts. But, girl, right now you need to see how much better you can do than Becker with a small pecker."I crack and can't hold back the tiny smile. "He does have a small wiener.""See? And you would've been stuck with that for the rest of your life! There are so many better guys out there. Guys who come packing."
Author: Angeline Kace
4. "She looked up, her face pink as a Christmas ham. "You ever try chasing down a car?" she gasped. "I'll one-up you. I gave Scott my hot dog and asked if he'd go to Summer Solstice with me." "What does the hot dog have to do with anything?""I said he'd be a wiener if he didn't go with me." Vee wheezed laughter. "I'd have run harder had I known I'd get to see you call him a wiener."
Author: Becca Fitzpatrick
5. "Between wiener juice and lung blood, I'd say that chambray shirt was a goner."
Author: Chuck Palahniuk
6. "Poe, you wiener, get your ass over here!""Shut Up! I ain't a wiener!"Broken, adolescent male laughter echoed through the night air, and if I hadn't been so damned mad, I'd have laughed too. Something about hearing a group of idiotic pubescent fifteen-year-old boys say wiener just cracked me up."
Author: Elle Jasper
7. "Girls aren't supposed to see wieners, Aunt Dee.  And Daddy's wiener was mad that Mommy saw.  It was so mad, it was pointing at her!"
Author: Harper Sloan
8. "I remember the second time I took Agatha out. I wanted to go to Dairy Queen, and she wanted to go to Burger King. In the end we settled for wieners and clams at Johnny Hermaphrodite's."
Author: Jarod Kintz
9. "And then I remember this morning and I wonder if it really happened or if I dreamed it. It was nice. And weird. And tender. I'm not used to tender. It's a fossil, that word. Conditions changed and it died out. Like the woolly mammoth. It just couldn't live in the same world as dick box. Ho dog. Or wiener cousins."
Author: Jennifer Donnelly
10. "Ich hörte, dass Karl May der Öffentlichkeit so lange als guter Schriftsteller galt, bis irgendwelche Missetaten aus seiner Jugend bekannt wurden. Angenommen aber, er hat sie begangen, so beweist mir das nichts gegen ihn - vielleicht sogar manches für ihn. Jetzt vermute ich in ihm erst recht einen Dichter!"(Neues Wiener Tagblatt, 20 November 1935)"
Author: Karl May
11. "Spirituality has always felt to me as private as sexuality. We don't go waving our wieners all over the place and we shouldn't wave our gods around either."
Author: Michael Ian Black
12. "The future science of government should be called 'la cybernétique' (1843){Coining the French word to mean 'the art of governing,' from the Greek (Kybernetes = navigator or steersman), subsequently adopted as cybernetics by Norbert Wiener for the field of control and communication theory.}"
Author: Norbert Wiener
13. "Heroes like you always have a weak spot. We just have to find it, and then we can kill you. Won't that be lovely? Have a cheese 'n' Wiener!"
Author: Rick Riordan
14. "Wow, Carter. You've got a HUGE wiener."Suddenly, Gavin being in the bathroom with me didn't seem so bad. If only he could have been in thebathroom with me in eighth grade and passed that little tidbit around for Penny Frankles to hear, I mightnot have gone to the eight grade graduation dance solo.I finished pissing, zipped up my pants and flushed the toilet, all while trying not to pat myself on theback. Yeah, I had a huge wiener. You bet your sweet ass I did. I almost needed a wheelbarrow to carry itaround. And because a toddler said it, it must have been true.We got back to the table and I couldn't keep the shit-eating grin off of my face."
Author: Tara Sivec
15. "I'm going to put corn and hot sauce on your wiener, and then I'll hit you in the face with it. Hit you in the face with your corny wiener."
Author: Tara Sivec
16. "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener," Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects."Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately" Carter muttered."
Author: Tara Sivec
17. "Wieners, punch, and spinning into barfing would later be referred to as the "Paris Hilton"."
Author: Tina Fey
18. "You'd be wise not to judge me based on one flaming wiener."
Author: Tracy March

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Fiction is able to do one thing better than any other art form: it is able to convey a convincing sense of what is going on in someone else's head. To me, that is the great mystery of life: what is everyone else thinking?"
Author: Arthur Phillips

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