Your Girlfriend Quotes

1. "If you were sitting quietly on your couch, waiting for your girlfriend to come back inside so you could finish watching your movie, and while you were waiting, someone called you up and said "I'll give you a million dollars if you can guess what's going to happen next," you absolutely would not guess "I am going to be brutally and unexpectedly attacked by a goose in my own home." Even if you had a hundred guesses, you would not guess that."
Author: Allie Brosh

2. "I think that's it's really important to have good friends. Nowadays, you can text 24 hours a day and be in constant contact, but every once in a while, it's nice to just get out with your girlfriends and have fun."
Author: Amanda Schull

3. "I know, but there were all those people there, and you just don't go around outing someone like that . . .""Yeah, well you just don't go around fucking your best friend's dad either, you prick!" For a moment I thought she was going to hit me again, but she pulled it back. "That's a fucking convenient sense of ethics you've got going on there, girlfriend."
Author: Amelia C. Gormley

4. "Give as much as importance to your goal as you give it to your first girlfriend, with that much importance your girlfriend might still leave you but your goal will definitely come to you."
Author: Amit Kalantri

5. "I nod and tap my fingers against my knees. "What to do with a girlfriend while I work my hours at the TOG. Hmm…Can I really do this? Will I be able to pull it off? Will she be able to read at the snack bar tables without losing her mind," I mumble. "Do you always talk to yourself?" "Yes. Bad habit. Does it bother you?" I walk back over to her side of the small stage. "No. It's interesting. I hate people knowing my thoughts. But yours just fall out of your head so easily." She shrugs. "I never thought of it like that…but you're my girlfriend now…so who cares if you know what I think?" Her cheeks turn pink, and I laugh."
Author: Anne Eliot

6. "Being poor sucks... It's hard to figure out the secrets of the universe when you're trying to figure out where you and your girlfriend are going to sleep next month."
Author: Antony Garrett Lisi

7. "If your best friend has stolen your girlfriend, it does become life and death."
Author: Ben Kingsley

8. "So how long have you been together? Two months?''Five.''Five? Jesus, Steve, you might as well get married. I should buy a hat.''Don't. They give away your Spock ears.'She laughed. 'This is the Romanian girl?''Croatian.''Right. She's a painter?''Photographer.''Right.' She studied him.'What?' he laughed self-consciously as though he was a twelve-year-old boy who'd just been caught with his first girlfriend.'Nothing.''Come on.''I don't know Steve,' she cut into her meat, 'you've changed. You no longer write about Victoria Beckham and you have a girlfriend. I think...''You think what?''I don't know, I might be jumping the gun here, but I think there's a possibility you might not be gay after all.'A chip was hurled at her head."
Author: Cecelia Ahern

9. "This is Glesca.... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself of that inescapable fact: this is Glesca. We don't do subtle, we don't do nuanced, we don't do conspiracy. We do pish-heid bampot bludgeoning his girlfriend to death in a fit of paranoid rage induced by forty-eight hours straight on the batter. We do coked-up neds jumping on a guy's heid outside a nightclub because he looked at them funny. We do drug-dealing gangster rockets shooting other drug-dealing gangster rockets as comeback for something almost identical a fortnight ago. We do bam-on-bam. We do tit-for-tat, score-settling, feuds, jealousy, petty revenge. We do straightforward. We do obvious. We do cannaemisswhodunit. When you hear hoofbeats on Sauchiehall Street, it's gaunny be a horse, no' a zebra...'."
Author: Christopher Brookmyre

10. "I've done a road trip across Italy with a girlfriend, and that was very romantic. I think that road trips are probably one of the romantic things you can do. To take your girlfriend and just stay wherever; don't have a destination and just drive and see where the road takes you is pretty cool."
Author: Christopher Egan

11. "So is this chick your girlfriend?" I'm not sure how to answer his question. I don't know how to label what's going on between us. "Yep," I say. He cocks his head at me. "Doesn't seem like she likes you very much." "She loves me. She just doesn't like me right now."
Author: Colleen Hoover

12. "Whether you're throwing up or breaking up, you want your girlfriend right there! I don't trust women who don't go to their girlfriends."
Author: Drew Barrymore

13. "We will never speak of your cadaverous girlfriend or murderous ways ever again."
Author: Elle Casey

14. "I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
Author: Iris The Holiday

15. "Jase rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. His warm breath danced over my lips. "I want to take you out on a date. I want to take you horseback riding. I want to tell your brother. I want to take you home to my parents and introduce you as my girlfriend. I want to prove this means more to me. I want to do this the right way."
Author: J. Lynn

16. "You know that moment when you hug somebody, when your heart feels warm and high in your chest and tingly? When you feel just for a second like a baby in a womb... that nothing matters? That's how I want you to feel. That's what a girlfriend should do, I think."
Author: Jake Vander Ark

17. "Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It's like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone's lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend."
Author: Jarod Kintz

18. "It seems a bit weird to call someone your girlfriend when you have a child."
Author: Jason Isaacs

19. "How's your girlfriend?'‘Birgitta?' Harry was quiet, ‘I don't know. She wont talk to me. Feeling terrible, I hope.''Why do you hope she's feeling terrible?'‘I hope she loves me, of course.'Sandra emitted a rasping laugh. ‘And how are you. Harry Holy?'‘Terrible.' Harry smiled sadly"
Author: Jo Nesbø

20. "If you've treated your girlfriend without respect, taken advantage of her, or cheated on her, your actions have taught her that she has no value. Needless to say, this is a serious, serious injury. If you don't try to make it right, she might start to believe the lie you've told her and spend the rest of her life thinking she deserves poor treatment."
Author: Josh Shipp

21. "These country chicks, I'm not even kidding you, they're fucking hard-core. They'll kill your ass and make it look like an accident. You drag the lakes around here and I promise you, there's dumb assholes who tried to get laid by the wrong chicks floating at the bottom of it—concrete boots—and I think your girlfriend's distributing them. Sadistic bitch."
Author: Kele Moon

22. "Trying to shoot your girlfriend is a pretty solid way of saying 'It's Over"
Author: Kelley York

23. "Are you going to put on your old cheer uniform?"Ryan was a little too excited by the thought of me in a costume, so I squashed that idea, and fast."In your dreams.""Not exactly." Ryan grinned wickedly. "In my dreams you're usually dressed like Wonder Woman."Ugh. I wondered how long it would take for him to start in on the superhero crap. Obviously, not long. I was not amused, but Ryan seemed to thinkhimself hilarious. I could also tell by the look on his face that he was quite confident he'd have me in costume one day. "Never gonna happen," Iassured him. "Ever."And of course he responded with that classic, cocky smile. "Just like you were never gonna be my girlfriend, right?"
Author: Kelly Oram

24. "A bright haze seemed to lie over everything, and she had a feeling of unreality, but the scene itself looked almost unbelievably wholesome, like something out of a commercial. Just your average family sitting down to eat turkey, she thought. One slightly flustered aunt, worried that the peas will be mushy and the rolls burnt, one comfortable uncle-to-be, one golden-haired teenage niece and her baby sister. One blue-eyed boy-next-door type, one spritely girlfriend, one gorgeous vampire passing the vegetables. A typical American household."
Author: L.J. Smith

25. "Dead ButterfliesI sometimes think about the fragility of glass — of broken shards tearing against soft skin.When in truth, it is the transparency that kills you. The pain of seeing through to something you can never quite touch. For years I've kept you in secret, behind a glass screen. I've watched helplessly as day after day, your new girlfriend becomes your wife and then later, the mother of your children. Then realizing their only in thinking you were the one under glass when in fact it has been me— a pinned butterfly static and unmoving, watching while your other life unfolds."
Author: Lang Leav

26. "Apparently having your girlfriend get shot in the head and Life Flighted away takes its toll on a guy. Imagine that? I told him it was no biggie, but he's been kind of edgy about it."
Author: Laura Griffin

27. "Didn't you," he asked, "have meexorcised?""Me?" My own voice rocketed up about ten octaves. "Me? Jesse, of course not. I would never do that. I mean, you know I would never do something like that. That kid Jack did it. Your girlfriend Maria made him do it. She was trying to get rid of you. She told Jack you were bothering me, and he didn't know any better, so he exorcised you, and then Felix Diego threw me off the porch roof, and Jesse, they found your body, I mean your bones, and I saw them and I threw up all over the side of the house, and Spike really misses you and I was just thinking, you know, if you wanted to come back, you could, because that's why I've got this rope, so we can find our way back."
Author: Meg Cabot

28. "So apart from writing letters home to your fantasy girlfriends,"Ben says, walking backwards, "what do you guys do out here without television and phones?""Men's business. Bit confidential," Griggs says patronisingly."Wow, wish I were you," Ben says, shaking his head with mock regret. "All I'll be doing tonight is hanging out in Taylor's bedroom, lying on her bed, sharing my earphones with her, hoping she won't hog all the room because it's such a tiny space."
Author: Melina Marchetta

29. "...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health."
Author: Mike Birbiglia

30. "You know she'll probably be at the party tonight? Which is why I'm absolutely not going if we don't get some coke.''Egon, why is it that every single time you're obliged to be in the same room with one of your ex-girlfriends you have to make it into a huge emergency? It's incredibly boring.''Come on. You know how it is. You catch sight of an old flame and get this breathless animal prickle like a fox in a room with a hound. And then all night you have to seem carefree and successful and elated, which is a pretence that for some reason you feel no choice but to maintain even though you know they're better qualified than anyone else in the world to detect immediately that you're really the same hapless cunt as ever.''That's adolescent. The fact that you are so neurotic about your past lovers makes it both fortunate and predictable that you have so few of them. It's one of those elegant self-regulating systems that one so often finds in nature."
Author: Ned Beauman

31. "If you make your best friend and your significant other the same person, you don't have to disconnect to go tell your girlfriend everything."
Author: Niecy Nash

32. "What did you tell me, Jesse? Sure Jake, Stephanie will do exactly what you tell her. Sure Jake, protecting her will be a piece of cake. "Snorting in disbelief, he added, "Being at war is safer compared to this shit, and it's a hell of a lot easier than looking after your girlfriend."
Author: Nina D'Angelo

33. "Solomon's Laws:8. If a guy who's smart, handsome, and rich invites you and your girlfriend to a nudist club...chances are he's got a giant shmeckel."
Author: Paul Levine

34. "Buy this book or I'll take it personally, and I will have my revenge. I'll steal your girlfriend or make out with your dad. It doesn't matter to me. Whichever will hurt worse. My vengeance knows no sexuality. You don't want this. Your dad does though. Yeah, like you didn't know your parents' marriage was a sham. Come on. Open your fucking eyes."
Author: Paul Neilan

35. "You're so young... Are you sure that's what you want your life to be, forever and ever? That job? That career? That girlfriend?"
Author: Peter Cameron

36. "From Shane's Point of View:Jester talking to Shane:"What's the matter? You afraid you'd bite your skinny little girlfriend?" Jester laughed. "She's already someone else's, you know. I can smell the bite on her. He's marked her."Myrnin."Shut up," I said, and kicked him in the face."
Author: Rachel Caine

37. "Fuck Tris. I would give body parts to have a guy write something like that for me. My kidney? Oh, both of them? Here, Nick, they're yours—just write more for me. I'll give you a start: boy in punk club asks strange girl to be his girlfriend for five minutes, girl kisses boy, boy kisses back, boy then meets girl—what did you notice about this girl? Nick, let's hear some lyrics. Please? Ready. Set. Go."
Author: Rachel Cohn

38. "This is new to us, you know? Your mother's sorry. She's sorry that she hurt your feelings, and she wants you to invite your girlfriend over for dinner.""So that she can make her feel bad and weird?""Well she is kind of weird, isn't she?"Park didn't have the energy to be angry. He sighed and let his head fall back on the chair. His dad kept talking. "Isn't that why you like her?"
Author: Rainbow Rowell

39. "So I've come up with a plan,' he said quickly, as if hoping to get his idea in before I could stop him. 'I'll date her on the T-days, that would Thursday and Tuesday. Then I get to bring her to church every other Sunday. I get one Monday a month, or two, if it's a month with with five Mondays. I'd like an occasional Saturday evening, but I've talked with the full-time missionaries and they have her scheduled for the next three.''Doran,' I began to protest.'Hear me out,' he begged. 'She'll still technically be your girlfriend, I'm giving you that. I'll refer to her simply as a friend until such time as she is willing to upgrade me to steady, or even fiancee."
Author: Robert Smith

40. "Dude, your girlfriend is so far past high maintenance even the janitor quit."
Author: Samantha Young

41. "The Army might screw you and your girlfriend might dump you and the enemy might kill you, but the shared commitment to safeguard one another's lives is unnegotiable and only deepens with time. The willingness to die for another person is a form of love that even religions fail to inspire, and the experience of it changes a person profoundly."
Author: Sebastian Junger

42. "The only way to cry your eyes out and laugh your ass off at the same time is to have your mom or girlfriends present. Without them, the laughing part wouldn't be nearly as fun."
Author: Shannon L. Alder

43. "I have no reasons to be unhappy today. Normally, when I pick my mother up from the police station I go to the gym as soon as it opens and smash the bag for a while. This morning, however, I woke up to your pretty face and I remembered that you are my girlfriend."
Author: Skyla Madi

44. "Don't let your girlfriend cut your hair!"
Author: Stephen Colbert

45. "Your man Jesus seems to me a bit of a son of a bitch when it comes to women,´Roland said. ´Was He ever married?´The corners of Callahan's mouth quirked. ´No´ he said, ´but His girlfriend was a whore.´´Well,´ Roland said, ´that's a start.´"
Author: Stephen King

46. "Garraty wondered how it would be, to lie in the biggest, dustiest library silence of all, dreaming endless, thoughtless dreams behind your gummed-down eyelids, dressed forever in your Sunday suit. No worries about money, success, fear, joy, pain, sorrow, sex, or love. Absolute zero. No father, mother, girlfriend, lover. The dead are orphans. No company but the silence like a moth's wing. An end to the agony of movement, to the long nightmare of going down the road. The body in peace, stillness, and order. The perfect darkness of death.How would that be? Just how would that be?"
Author: Stephen King

47. "You don't really want me on your team,' Lexie said. 'I'm totally terrible.''I know," Jake said. 'I want you on the other guy's team.'Lexie swatted him with her free hand. "That is no way to talk with your girlfriend,' she said, forgetting for a moment that Bree was right there, intently watching them.'You're right,' he said. 'My apologies, sugar plum. I'm sorry, honey pie. I'll never do it again, my little pumpkin. Is that better?'She wrinkled her nose at him. ' feel so edible all of a sudden.''Cute enough to eat,' he said."
Author: Tamara Summers

48. "All the baby books written by women who had the most perfect birth experience in the world said you should talk to your child in the womb. That was about the only piece of advice I took from those things. Every day I told him if he ruined my vagina I would video tape his birth and show all his future girlfriends what happened to your who-ha when you had sex, ensuring that he will never, ever get laid."
Author: Tara Sivec

49. "It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth"
Author: Tara Sivec

50. "Credit, youre jewish, your best friend is black, and your girlfriend is a cheating whore. Even if I wore gay, I'd still have it better than you."
Author: Tucker Max

Your Girlfriend Quotes Pictures