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Top Terry Pratchett Quotes

Browse top 1545 most favorite famous quotes and sayings by Terry Pratchett.

Favorite Terry Pratchett Quotes

1. "I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!" ~ Terry Pratchett
2. "And Granny Weatherwax was pretty damn powerful. She was probably an even more accomplished witch than the infamous Black Aliss and everyone knew what happened to her at the finish." ~ Terry Pratchett
3. "Books bend space and time. One reason the owners of those aforesaid little rambling, poky secondhand bookshops always seem slightly unearthly is that many of them really are, having strayed into this world after taking a wrong turning in their own bookshops in worlds where it is considered commendable business practice to wear carpet slippers all the time and open your shop only when you feel like it." ~ Terry Pratchett
4. "One day, when he was naughty, Mr. Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred's field and saw it was full of fresh green lettuces. Mr. Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair." ~ Terry Pratchett
5. "The reaper does not listen to the harvest." ~ Terry Pratchett
6. "with the signs of the Disc zodiac. There were sixty-four of them, from Wezen the Double-headed Kangaroo to Gahoolie, the Vase of Tulips (a constellation of great religious significance whose meaning, alas, was now lost)." ~ Terry Pratchett
7. "Ludzie powinni zostawac tam, gdzie sie ich pozostawilo." ~ Terry Pratchett
8. "- Sucharki Podrózne Kapitana Osmiopantera. Poznaje - odezwal sie chochlik. - Bardzo wielu ludziom morza ocalily zycie.- Na pewno. Uzywacie ich jako tratew czy rzucacie rekinom, a potem przygladacie sie, jak tona?" ~ Terry Pratchett
9. "No," said his cousin. "I've had enough of this. Let's write to the newspapers! That's the way to get things done. Everyone's complaining about the fruit and vegetables and the seafood. Vetinari should be made to understand the plight of the small-time entrepreneur. After all, what do we occasionally pay our taxes for?" ~ Terry Pratchett
10. "It was Carrot who'd suggested to the Patrician that hardened criminals should be given the chance to 'serve the community' by redecorating the homes of the elderly, lending a new terror to old age and, given Ankh-Morpork's crime rate, leading to at least one old lady having her front room wallpapered so many times in six months that now she could only get in sideways." ~ Terry Pratchett
11. "This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts..." ~ Terry Pratchett
12. "Nutt was young and as such did not have that reverence for age that is had by, mostly, the aged." ~ Terry Pratchett
13. "I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted." ~ Terry Pratchett
14. "She found fault with every dish put in front if her, including the salt, which she declared was not salty enough." ~ Terry Pratchett
15. "The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the last date shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality." ~ Terry Pratchett
16. "Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners." ~ Terry Pratchett
17. "That is because you don't yet know how to deal with time," said Wen. "But I will teach you to deal with time as you would deal with a coat, to be worn when necessary and discarded when not.""Will I have to wash it?" said Clodpool.Wen gave him a long, slow look."That was either a very complex piece of thinking on your part, Clodpool, or you were just trying to overextend a metaphor in a rather stupid way. Which, do you think, it was?"Clodpool looked at his feet. Then he looked at the sky. Then he looked at Wen."I think I am stupid, master.""Good," said Wen. "It is fortuitous that you are my apprentice at this time, because if I can teach you, Clodpool, I can teach anyone." ~ Terry Pratchett
18. "She folded her arms and then shouted, "Right you thieving scunners! How dare you steal Miss Treason's funeral meats!""Oh, waily, waily, it's the foldin' o' the arms, the foooldin' o' the aaaarmss!" cried Daft Wullie, dropping to the ground and trying to cover himself with leaves. Around him Feegles started to wail and cower and Big Yan began to bang his head on the rear wall of the dairy." ~ Terry Pratchett
19. "At times like this it's traditional that a hero comes forth," said the President of the Guild of Assassins. "A dragon slayer. Where is he, that's what I want to know? Why aren't our schools turning out young people with the skills society needs?" ~ Terry Pratchett
20. "...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened." ~ Terry Pratchett
21. "They sometimes forgot what happened if you let a pawn get all the way up the board." ~ Terry Pratchett
22. "You could trust numbers, except perhaps for pi, but he was working on that in his spare time and it was bound to give in sooner or later." ~ Terry Pratchett
23. "You will have worked out that there is a race in this world that steals and kills and spreads disease and despoils what it cannot use, said the voice of Spider." ~ Terry Pratchett
24. "When you're bouncing around from pin to pin, it is probably very difficult to know that outside the game there's a room and outside the room there's a town and outside the town there's a country and outside the country there's a world and outside the world there's a billion trillion stars and that's only the start of it... but it's there, d'you see? Once you know about it, you can stop worrying about the slot at the bottom. And you might bounce around a good deal longer." ~ Terry Pratchett
25. "We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously." ~ Terry Pratchett
26. "Scuse me, 'scuse me," said a voice from beside him. He looked down this time at a dirty, half-scorched cat, who grinned at him. "Did that cat just speak?" asked the mayor. Maurice looked around. "Which one?" he said. "You! Did you just talk?" "Would you feel better if I said no?" said Maurice." ~ Terry Pratchett
27. "Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things." ~ Terry Pratchett
28. "You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant.You mean the sledgehammer, sir?Yes." ~ Terry Pratchett
29. "I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people." ~ Terry Pratchett
30. "A weapon you held and didn't know how to use belonged to your enemy." ~ Terry Pratchett
31. "Genuine anger was one of the world's great creative forces. But you had to learn how to control it. That didn't mean you let it trickle away. It meant you dammed it, carefully, let it develop a working head, let it drown whole valleys of the mind and then, just when the whole structure was about to collapse, opened a tiny pipeline at the base and let the iron-hard stream of wrath power the turbines of revenge." ~ Terry Pratchett
32. "Vimes thought for a moment and said, 'Well, dear, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a man with a lot of wood must be in want of a wife who can handle a great big--" ~ Terry Pratchett
33. "It was like ... like wizardry, but without the wizards and the mess." ~ Terry Pratchett
34. "People were people, even if they had four legs and had called themselves names like Dangerous Beans, which is the kind of name you gave yourself if you learned to read before you understood what all the words actually meant." ~ Terry Pratchett
35. "Oh, my dear Vimes, history changes all the time. It is constantly being re-examined and re-evaluated, otherwise how would we be able to keep historians occupied? We can't possibly allow people with their sort of minds to walk around with time on their hands." ~ Terry Pratchett
36. "Good or bad, do it as you. Too many lies and there's no truth to go back to." ~ Terry Pratchett
37. "It will certainly show what our ancestors would be thinking if they were alive today. People have often speculated about this. Would they approve of modern society, they ask, would they marvel at present-day achievements? And of course this misses a fundamental point. What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?" ~ Terry Pratchett
38. "Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. and yet... and yet you act as if there is some ideal order in the world, as if there is some... some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged." ~ Terry Pratchett
39. "Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn't trust "Mothers of Borogravia!" and that was from the government. And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust?Very nearly everyone, come to think of it..." ~ Terry Pratchett
40. "Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc." ~ Terry Pratchett
41. "You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap." ~ Terry Pratchett
42. "But you ain't part of it, are you?" said Granny conversationally. "You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?" ~ Terry Pratchett
43. "Only Ron's dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look.A couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. (...) The dog in front of William didn't look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear." ~ Terry Pratchett
44. "Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped." ~ Terry Pratchett
45. "The night is always old. He'd walked too often down dark streets in the secret hours and felt the night stretching away, and known in his blood that while days and kings and empires come and g, the night is always the same age, always aeons deep. Terrors unfolded in the velvet shadows and while the nature of the talons may change, the nature of the beast does not." ~ Terry Pratchett
46. "Su filosofía era una mezcla de tres famosas escuelas: los Cínicos, los Estoicos y los Epicúreos, y él reunía las tres en su famosa fase: "No se puede confiar en ningún mamón más allá de lo que se le puede lanzar, y no hay nada que podamos hacer al respecto, así que vamos a tomar una copa." ~ Terry Pratchett
47. "There is a phrase "neither flesh nor fowl nor good red herring." This thing was all of them, plus some other bits of beasts unknown to science or nightmare or even kebab. There was certainly some red, and a lot of flapping, and Nutt was sure he caught a glimpse of an enormous sandal..." ~ Terry Pratchett
48. "It is now known to science that there are many more dimensions than the classical four. Scientists say that these don't normally impinge on the world because the extra dimensions are very small and curve in on themselves, and that since reality is fractal most of it is tucked inside itself. This means either that the universe is more full of wonders than we can hope to understand or, more probably, that scientists make things up as they go along." ~ Terry Pratchett
49. "On the dresser was a row of blue-and-white jars that weren't very useful for anything. They'd been left to her mother by an elderly aunt, and she was proud of them because they looked nice but were completely useless. There was little room on the farm for useless things that looked nice, so they were treasured." ~ Terry Pratchett
50. "Gytha Ogg, you wouldn't be a witch if you couldn't jump to conclusions, right?" Nanny nodded. "Oh, yes." There was no shame in it. Sometimes there wasn't time to do anything else but take a flying leap. Sometimes you had to trust to experience and intuition and general awareness and take a running jump. Nanny herself could clear quite a tall conclusion from a standing start." ~ Terry Pratchett
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Today's Quote

Since I've written many of my books from a less-than-sympathetic viewpoint, I think that being able to see things from all sides is a useful talent."
Author: Alex Flinn

What Did Terry Pratchett Talk About?

Thin
Here
Hey
Wit
Said
Hen
Ear
Use
Ally
Per
She
Thou
Ten
King
Con
End
Cause
Old
Lit
Tan
Sin
Though
Act
Pen
Ring
Bee
Round
Ought
Son
Ways
Mean
Low
Win
Yes
Self
Lie
Owe
Star
Off
Ours
Able
Side
Call
Era
Boo
Air
Word
Mad
Cat
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